Monday 27 June 2011

THE SKY PILOT FROM BENTLEY PARK - PART 1

The SBS footage went to air that same day and was slotted onto the tail end of the evenings news as a "quirky" item, normally reserved for baby pandas at zoos.

The two solicitor sons of Bill Hooper when contacted by the SBS journalist had both backed away from their claims of taking legal action against the Reverend Matthew Harmon of the Bentley Park Community Baptist Church.

"Because legally you haven't got a leg to stand on!" thought the SBS journalist as he sat in front of the two solicitors listening to their bluster and bluff. What he did observe however was both men had that aura of naked greed and the brazen hunger of souls which only knew how to covet more and more. The journalist shivered to himself as he walked away from the interview.

So the matter of the Reverend Matthew Harmon quoting The 23rd Psalm at the late Bill Hooper's funeral service may have died, never to have surfaced again before the Australian public, had not some current affairs producers been intrigued by the issue. "There's a story behind the story!" they intuited.

First off and running were the film crew and journalists from A Current Affair who interviewed the Reverend at his modest home in Bentley Park, with his wife Amber, three sons and baby daughter. Matthew Harmon spoke about his ambitions to win his Division as a Councillor in the coming by-election and of his opposition to the string of night clubs, featuring sex acts which the Mayor of Cairns had approved since his election. The Reverend himself led the news team through the streets of Cairns and attempted to enter several of the Clubs, however at each venue, ramboesque bouncers prevented the camera crew from entering. The film footage they were able to take however featured a running brawl up and down Lake Street between roughly a hundred drunken men and thirty hard-pressed police officers.

"We've always had some street violence here," explained the Reverend into the cameras,
"but nothing like this. There are huge street brawls every night, and the Police are finding it harder and harder to cope."

The Current Affair team interviewed the Regional Superintendent of Police, who, despite being very defensive about the ability of the police force to contain the street violence in the city of Cairns, spoke openly about the shift of Australia's underworld from the Gold Coast to Cairns, as a direct result of the proliferation of the night club industry in the city and the increase in hard drugs in the region.

His Worship the Mayor, Colonel (Retired) Ken Cush refused to comment to the Current Affair team.

When the program aired the following evening, it caused shock waves around Australia. People wanted to know more about the side of Cairns which the hard-sell tourist advertising were not saying.

Next into Cairns were the crew from The 7PM Project, then 60 Minutes. The Reverend Matthew Harmon was gaining a national profile as he continued to speak of his opposition to sex acts in night clubs, the sexual exploitation of women, the growth of the drug industry in Cairns and the increase in street violence. He was described by the 60 Minutes journalist, as "probably unique in Australian political life for whereas morals crusaders traditionally spring from the far right of politics, the Reverend is coming from the far left."

The profile he gained from exposure in the current affairs programs saw the Reverend receive an invitation to be a guest speaker on the ABC's "Q. & A." Program to speak on the issue of the "relevance of religion in todays society."

It was on "Q. & A" that the Reverend Matt Harmon excelled, and earned himself the title "The Sky Pilot from Bentley Park."

Explaining his religious and political beliefs, the Reverend mentioned how much he opposed war and the ongoing war in Afghanistan in particular. The studio audience all cheered at this. The war in Afghanistan had taken more Australian casualties in 2013 and the Australian people were angered by the Government's insistence that troops remain stationed in the country. Huge opposition was mounting all over Australia. Buoyed by the studio response, the Reverend spontaneously burst into song........

"He blesses the boys as they stand there in line,
The smell of gun grease and their bayonets they shine...
He said that he'll help them all that he can...
To make them feel wanted, he's a good Holy man......
Sky Pilot.....Sky Pilot.."

As one, the studio audience rose to their feet clapping and cheering.

"It's always been a favorite song of mine," explained the Reverend, his face flushed with excitement. "I know it exposes the hypocracy of the role of the Church in war, and I agree with that. We must withdraw our troops from Afghanistan!"

His popular appearance on "Q. & A." saw the Melbourne Age write, "Sky Pilot from Cairns Wows Australians!" It was a timely piece of writing, and a timely arrival on the Australian political scene by a fresh faced squeaky clean sincere young Reverend.

National leaders are often thrust into their positions through quirks of fate. The Reverend Matthew Harmon soon became linked in the minds of Australians as a focal point in the opposition to the war in Afghanistan. The song "Sky Pilot" by Eric Burdon and the Animals surged in popularity around the nation. Each time it played, people thought of "the Reverend Matthew Harmon, the Sky Pilot from Bentley Park in Cairns."

His success on "Q. & A." saw the Reverend invited as a guest on the "Sunrise" morning program where he played his guitar and sang "Day by Day" from the musical Godspell as well as singing part of "Sky Pilot" much to the delight of the hosts of the "Sunrise" show.

It was barely three weeks following his spontaneous recital of The 23rd Psalm at Bill Hooper's funeral, but the Reverend Matt Harmon was now a national celebrity.

It wasn't of course an oversight that the local newspaper, "The Cairns Post" avoided any mention of the Reverend during these three weeks. Story after story had appeared in the newspaper praising Colonel Cush's Conservative Partys candidate for Division 2, Bud Yarrow. According to the Editor of "The Cairns Post" Bud Yarrow was "a real man, with a strong voice and a strong direction for Division 2. His wit, intelligence and visionary zeal will be a huge asset to the ranks of the Cairns Regional Council and to His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush, the best Mayor this city has ever had."

Advertisements and commercials urging people to vote for Bud Yarrow deluged the local media machine. Corflutes with Bud Yarrow's slogan, "A REAL man for Division 2!" were liberally scattered throughout the suburbs. In fact as someone said, you could not walk more than two hundred metres without seeing a Bud Yarrow corflute. They were more prolific than dog turds in a dog lovers suburb.

The local shock jocks on the radio stations were in over-drive with their enthusiasm for Bud Yarrow. "Ohhh, what a man," thundered shock jock Don O'Reilly to his talk-back audience.
"I just feel so HUMBLED, so HUMBLED indeed, that such a mighty man as BUD YARROW would give us his time and his reputation to stand as a Divisional Councillor in this city. I can't tell you what a great honour it is...I mean the man is a multi-millionaire property developer in his own right, and he doesn't need the money, so he really is commiting a great sacrifice for us all. We should all be just so grateful and humbled by having such a luminary, such a brilliant man choosing to serve us on the Regional Council....."

The first caller of the day was "Merv of Bentley Park".
"Oh mate," said Merv. "You can stick your Mr Yarrow down your cakehole. We want someone like the good bloody Reverend, Mr Sky Pilot himself."

The next caller wasn't quite so polite. "How much have you been paid, you greasy bastard to spruik this Yarrow's praises hey?"

The third caller was "Heather from Parramatta Park." "I like the Reverend Matthew Harmon," Heather said firmly. "I like what he is saying about those filthy night clubs in the city which only exploit women and the growth of crime here. I'm a Mother of a young daughter and I am very worried about the growth of drugs in Cairns since that awful Colonel Cush became Mayor........"

"Oh," said the shock-jock, "We seem to have lost Heather from Parramatta Park....."


To be continued.......

Monday 20 June 2011

QUEENSLAND, THE DIFFERENT STATE, PART 3

The incident at Bill Hooper's funeral serice may have disappeared from the media apart from a brief two minutes on Channel 7 television that evening, had not the Editor of "The Cairns Post" been attending the service at the crematorium.

The Reverend Matthew Harmon's spontaneous and heart-felt rendition of The 23rd Psalm at a secular funeral service might never have gained the attention it did, if the two solicitor sons of the late Bill Hooper were not, shall we say, "hungry".

Pissed off that their late father had left a sizeable chunk of his Estate to a half-sister they had never known, they spoke angrily with the Editor of "The Cairns Post" following the service, and both declared with fervour that their mother Joan would press charges against the Reverend, for "causing a disturbance at the service". Moreover, they said, their Mother had been forced to endure extra anguish and stress whilst grieving for the loss of her husband because of the Reverend's actions and that they would also look for financial compensation.

The Editor readily agreed stating he believed it was a "scandal" and that the Reverend was a "menace to society".

The following day, the front page banner headlines of "The Cairns Post" read:-

OUTRAGE AT FUNERAL SERVICE

The Reverend Matthew Harmon, sitting at the dining room table with his wife Donna, read the story with increasing astonishment.

The Editor wrote:-

"People paying their last respects to the late Councillor Bill Hooper of the Cairns Regional Council were shocked and disgusted yesterday when the Reverend Matthew Harmon, a Minister of the Community Baptist Church at Bentley Park, rudely disrupted the funeral service, being conducted by Celebrant J. O'Neill.

Councillor Bill Hooper was an agnostic who did not believe in God or religion and it was his expressed wish before he passed away that his funeral service be secular.

The Reverend Matthew Harmon broke in very loudly by reciting what might have been a Psalm, thus disrupting and hi-jacking the secular service. Guests at the service were both bewildered and disgusted at this wilful display of contempt for the deceased and his family.

The sons of the late Bill Hooper said that the Reverend's actions had caused "significant distress and anguish" to their mother Joan, already deep in shock and grief over the sudden death of her beloved husband of thirty-five years.

"We will be taking legal action against the Reverend for his corruption of a secular service, thus causing a public commotion," said one of the sons."

**************************************
The Editor thought the story was just too good an opportunity with which to milk the public emotion as much as he could. It also gave him the chance to ruthlessly destroy the election chances of the Reverend in the coming Council by-election. As he wrote the Editorial, the Editor thought, "We won't see the commie cunt ever again after this."

Editorial

"The actions by the Reverend Matthew Harmon of the Community Baptist Church of Bentley Park, yesterday at the funeral servgice of the late Bill Hooper, were a disgrace and shameful for a man of the cloth, to say the least.

He not only disrupted the service, but completely took it over, much to the anguish of the deceased's family, the Celebrant who was officiating at the service, but also the guests who had come to pay their last respects to a truly Great Man. A man who has been deeply revered and loved in the community as one of our most popular Councillors in the most successful Council ever to be elected to Cairns. The late Bill Hooper was a key team player in the Council led by our esteemed Mayor, His Worship, Colonel Ken Cush.

It would seem the Reverend, in seeking to disrupt the funeral service, sought to gain publicity for himself. He is after all, a Candidate, representing the Socialist Workers Party, for the late Bill Hooper's division. The by-election is to be in four weeks time.

This sort of self-seeking publicity and outright hooliganism is just not acceptable and the Minister should be ashamed of his attention seeking tantrums at solemn gatherings. Electors in Division 2 should bear this in mind when they cast their votes. "

********************************************

The Reverend Matthew Harmon sat numb with shock. "Good grief!" he stuttered at last,
"It's just bloody preposterous!" Beside him, Donn'a face was white and strained looking.
"What will we do Matt," she asked trying to keep her panic down, "if they decide to sue us?
I mean, can they?"

Matt Harmon shook his head trying to reassure his wife, while forcing his own fears down.
Could he be arrested and sued for reciting The 23rd Psalm at a funeral service? For the first time in his life, Matt Harmon realised he would need some legal advice.

***********************************************

If "The Cairns Post" had been unkind to the Reverend, then the local radio station, 4CA and its resident "shock jock" were brutal. The recital of The 23rd Psalm at Bill Hooper's funeral service dominated the call-back program that day.

"It's downright disgusting and criminal," roared the shock-jock over the air-waves. "The Reverend should be jailed for causing so much grief and anguish to all those suffering people at the service. I mean, has the Reverend any thoughts for people other than himself? I have never, never, never ever heard of such a blatant, thoughtless display of attention-seeking narcissism in my life. I mean, here he is, he is standing as a Candidate in Division Two, for the Socialist Workers Party. The Socialist Workers Party, I ask you. What type of party is this? It isn't rocket science to understand that this is just another name for "Communist Party".
You wonder too, if he is really a Reverend at all or whether he received his credentials at some Mickey Mouse college of theology. You wonder if the man has some mental problems, you really do!"

The callers to the program were fast off the mark. They had all been suitablty fired up and their voices were thick with hate:-

The first was a woman, Marva, who had a heavy European accent.

"I was in Europe when the Communists took over," she said, "and they were all Church people. I tell you the Church is full of Communists. It's how they take over the country."

The second caller was "Reg of Redlynch".

"Mate," he said, "I'd like to see that commie prick try to force his religion down my throat at my funeral service, I tell you....."

The third was "Wayne of Bayview Heights"

"You can't get away from the bastards," he said, "they come to your front door trying to ram it all down your throat, now the pricks are turning up at your bloody funeral, for Chrissakes. Arrest all the bastards."

The fourth caller was "Maria of Bayview Heights".

"I was at the funeral service," said Maria Bombonieri, wife of Enzo. "I wasn't disgusted or shocked .........."

The shock-jock cut her off quickly. "We seem to have lost Maria," he told his audience, but now we have "Clive of Edmonton on the line."

"It's proof that the Church has been infuiltrated by commies," said Clive. "I always said that they would try and take over the world. I mean ever the bloody Pope came from a commie country."

The Reverend Matthew Harmon listened to the radio program with growing alarm. What had he done? How could he fight this? He bowed his head and prayed.

Sitting inside the Mayor's office, Cush and Horsey laughed at the radio callers. "Christ, it's so fucken funny," laughed Cush.
"Serves the bloody prick of a sky pilot right," laughed Horsey. "I don't think we will have much of an opposition from him in the by-election."

"Jesus, no," laughed back Cush. "Our bloke will shit it in this time, just shit it in."

Across the city, inside one of Cairns' leading tourist hotels, there were other people listening with great interest to the radio program. People who had a copy of "The Cairns Post" before them and who had been sending emails to certain television producers in Melbourne and Sydney, A television crew, on location in Cairns, to cover a story on The Great Barrier Reef, were listening to the shock jock's program with rapt attention.

"It's been approved," said the SBS journalist, reading his email on his laptop, "the producer wants to cover the story on the Reverend Mark Harmon. This is explosive stuff, in fact better than the story on The Great Barrier Reef. Let's go everybody!"

The SBS journalist suppressed a loud guffaw as he finished reading his email from the producer.
"You can always count on bloody Queensland!" the producer had written.

The Reverend Mark Harmon was about to become a national news item.


To be continued.......................

Friday 10 June 2011

QUEENSLAND, THE DIFFERENT STATE, PART 2


The funeral for Councillor Bill Hooper was held at the Cairns Crematorium.

The service was conducted by a Celebrant rather than a Minister of Religion in accordance with the late Councillor's wishes.

Sitting in the front row with Brandi alongside him, Cush chortled to himself as the Celebrant insisted on describing the event as a "Celebration of Bill's life." Cush always loved that,
"Celebration!" he thought, stifling an outright guffaw, "Shit that's the case alright, every bastard here will piss off after the service and get maggotted!"

It was the Australian way, Cush decided. Unlike other cultures where people openly howled and bawled and pissed their pants and women beat their breasts and flung themselves on the coffin. Australians liked to turn it all into a celebration and one gigantic big booze-up and argue like billy-oh about their inheritance.

Cush did a quick look around the room, noticing the Councillors, their wives, many of the Cairns Regional Council staff and the family of Bill Hooper in attendance. He gave a quick nod of recognition at Reg Silvers who was sitting quite near him with his actress wife, Rhianna.

He wondered again why Silvers had changed his mind so quickly about standing in Division 2.
He would get Horsey to try and find out, he thought. Get Silvers a bit pissed and then wrangle it out of him.

The Celebrant was making the usual speech about how great and bloody wonderful a man Bill Hooper was. "He dedicated his life to public service and serving the community so unselfishly,"
the Celebrant was saying as Cush pushed his thoughts aside and focussed again on the service.

"Yeah, he served the community alright," thought Cush, "he never did a thing in his life for anyone where he didn't get paid, and he made people pay him heaps too."

"He was such a generous man that he would literally give you the shirt off his back." continued the Celebrant, getting carried away with his voice.

"Yeah, he was fucken St Francis of Assissi re-incarnated!" thought Cush.

"He will be missed sadly by his grieving wife, Joan, and his children to whom he was the most wonderful, loving and caring husband and father." said the Celebrant.

"They'll miss him like a fucken hole in the head," thought Cush, eyeing off the so-called grieving widow Joan and his two sons who were both solicitors in Cairns.

Rumour had already reached Cush via the gossip savvy Horsey that Bill Hooper's two solicitor sons were already preparing to fight the contents of their father's Will. Apparently, back in his salad days, the young Bill Hooper had sown his wild oats somewhere and fathered a baby out of wedlock. With the passage of time and a mind starting to grow a little soft, Bill had hired a detective to track down the child and found that his daughter, his only daughter, had been born with a physical handicap, had spent her life in an institution and was now living an impoverished existence on State welfare. Millionaire Bill had then gone and had an acute attack of the "guilts" and apparently, according to Horsey anyway, had re-written his Will, leaving a generous bequeath to his only daughter. Somehow the two Solicitor sons, despite the so called confidentiality in the legal world, had learned about it, and were not happy chappies.

"So much for loving families," thought Cush. "It takes a funeral for everyone to feel all the love bullshit."

Cush then read the Eulogy on behalf of the Cairns Regional Council in his role as His Worship the Mayor. He thought the CEO must have been monged out of his tiny brain when he wrote it, but he put the thought aside, put on his best speaking voice and gravely announced:

"Cairns has lost a much loved son, a pillar of the community, a deeply admired and respected banker, financier, developer and a dedicated and hard working city Councillor....."

Sitting down the back of the small room, Councillor Enzo Bombonieri shook his head and looked at Councillor Dom Piper sitting beside him. "He was one of the greatest corrupt crooks in Cairns!" whispered Enzo. Dom only nodded silently.

Brandi took time out to steal a glance at Rhianna Silvers and noted with envy her beautiful black, mourning outfit. She wondered what Reg had said to Rhianna after receiving the email she had sent him anonymously showing Rhianna and that AFL player at the rave. She did know from something Cush had said that morning that Reg Silvers had changed his mind about standing as Councillor for Division 2. Brandi had smiled to herself at that.

His Eulogy over, Cush returned to his seat while someone else stood up to do their Eulogy.
Cush pulled out the piece of paper Horsey had given him that morning, listing the names of Party members who had indicated they wished to stand for Division 2 in the coming by-election.

There were fifteen names on the list. It was unprecedented in the Party's history. "Because they know they will be working with the best fucken Mayor, Cairns has ever had!" thundered Cush.

Cush took out a pen from his jacket pocket and scrubbed out the female names on the list.
How many times, he thought surly, did he have to tell those fucken Party officials he didn't want anyone without Johnsons on his team?

Next he impatiently scrubbed out those names he didn't think were Anglo Saxon Caucasian in origin. Some dot-head by the name of Singh had put his name down. Next, some dago by the name of Bennetti. One dago on the Council was enough, he thought angrily.

He didn't want young Councillors either, so he scrubbed out three more names where their ages were listed as early 30s. Too bloody excited about the environment, he thought.

Hooper's two sons had both nominated themselves and Cush scrubbed their names off the list as well. No fucken legal eagles, he thought.

He now had the list down to three names. He would confer with Horsey later on, as to who whould be the better choice he thought. Someone who wouldn't give any trouble, just put their head down and do as they were told.

At the very back of the service, the Reverend Matthew Harmon, of the Bentley Park Community Baptist Church, listened to the funeral service with dismay and horror.
He had never been to a non-religious "Celebrant" funeral service before, and quite frankly, it just disgusted him. There was no God here! he thought incredulously.
The service was nothing but a hard-sell of Bill Cooper, praising him to the roof-tops, like, like...the Reverend Matthew Harmon struggled to find the words....like a commercial product!
He also disliked the insistence of everyone that it was a "celebration". He felt outraged.
Where was the mourning for a lost life? Where were the affirmations of Christ's love for humanity?

He couldn't help himself. He just couldn't. The words came to him. He started saying them softly, and his voice grew stronger as others joined in.

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters......"

Matthew Harmon was a tall man, six foot seven inches in his bare feet and a former Taipans basketballer. He unfurled his lanky limbs and stood tall, his preachers voice ringing out in the small auditorium.

"He restoreth my soul;
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil; for thou art with me......"


Enzo and Maria Bombonieri, Dom and Margie Piper and several others also stood and joined in, many thinking it was part of the service.

The Celebrant could only stare, stupefied. His service had been hijacked by a man of God!

The local television news crews focussed on the Reverend Harmon and the increaasing numbers of people who were standing and either reciting The Twenty-Third Psalm, or who were standing with their heads respectfully bowed.

Thus, the Reverend Matthew Harmon, aged 35, father of four, morals crusader, resident of Bentley Park, Cairns, member of the Socialist Workers Party of Australia, and candidate for Division 2 in the forthcoming Council by-election, received unexpected media publicity, in his outrage at attending a non-religious funeral service. As he was to explain later, he just could not tolerate a Godless funeral service. "The service sounded like the late Bill Hooper was a piece of cheese or a car, and not a precious human being being committed to God's care!"

Many people loved what the Reverend said, when they watched the television news segment that night. They didn't mind God not being at their weddings, nor the naming of their children, but they wanted God to be there when they died. They all reckoned the Reverend sounded like a "good bloke".

The Reverend Matthew Harmon had just given himself, however accidental, the very best publicity he could, in his quest to become the Councillor for Division 2.


To be continued.........................










Monday 6 June 2011

QUEENSLAND, THE DIFFERENT STATE ...PART 1


Reg Silvers stared silently at the photo of his wife Rhianna inflagrante delicto enjoying a bit of cunnilingus from some unknown male. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that it was Rhianna. He had suspected something when she insisted on flying back and forth from Melbourne several times in the past couple of months. There hadn't been any evidence of an affair, but Silvers had a gut instinct and he had learned all his life to listen to his gut instinct.
It was what had made him a multi-millionaire.

He had received the anonymous email only minutes after ending a phone call with His Worship the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush, in which he had enthusiastically accepted the offer of standing as a Candidate for Division 2 in a forth coming by-election of the Cairns Regional Council.

Cush hadn't needed to use any persuasive powers. Silvers wanted another challenge in life. At the age of 72, he was healthier than most people half his age, mentally agile and still Hungry. He was rated in Australia's top ten wealthiest individuals, but he wanted more than that. A challenge would be to move up into the top BIG FIVE. And he had time and energy to do it.
He knew Cush and Bob Horseman had something going on in the Council and he wanted a piece of the action as well.

However the email changed all of that. The anonymous sender had said they had more photos.

Silvers thought rapidly for a few more minutes before grabbing his phone and ringing the Mayor's office. It wasn't the only time in his life he had changed his mind about a decision in less than five minutes, but few of those previous occasions had left him feeling so enraged.

Cush had been stunned at the rapid change of mind. "You're sure?" he had queried, his voice raspy with incomprehension. "Yeah mate, I'm not going to enter into it!" Silvers had answered firmly.

Silvers stood up and stared out his office window. He wouldn't endure another divorce, he thought. The last two divorces had depleted his fortune quite considerably and he was not going to endure seeing his money reduced even further. Neither did he intend to stay married to a two-timing unfaithful little gold digger like Rhianna. Perhaps an accident at sea, he thought, whilst on a cruise to the Whitsundays on their yacht? Rhianna liked taking the yacht out. He liked the idea. He had taken out a million dollar whole of life insurance policy on Rhianna soon after their marriage. It would be an easy way to get another mill. He liked the idea. Just do it!


He was still standing at his window when a car full of middle aged women, members of one of Cairns womens' service clubs, drove slowly past his huge home. "There he is!" squealed the driver, as all the other women in turn squealed with delight and waved their hands at the figure standing in the window. "Reg Silvers, the most gorgeous man you would ever hope to meet!" said the driver. "Ooooh," sighed another woman, "he really is, and a good Christian man too!"
"We must have him as a guest speaker!" emphatically declared a third woman.

Reg spotted the car and its ogling passengers and have a half hearted wave back. Stupid old cunts, he thought disdainfully.
.................................................................

Brandi walked up to the front of the downstairs flat which had a hand-painted sign
stuck to a window. "SAME SEX PARENTAL SUPPORT GROUP MEETING HERE".

It was an old weatherboard Queenslander, rather shabby and in need of repairs. Someone however had renovated the downstairs and built some sort of a unit. It didn't look at all comfortable and Brandi assumed it was probably fairly cheap to rent.

As soon as she stood in the door-way, someone walked out to greet her.

Brandi stared in shock and horror. She didn't know whether the person was a male or female or an extraterrestrial. It was painfully thin and bony, like a bundle of walking sticks, with heavily tattooed arms. Dressed in loose khaki pants and sleeveless button down check shirt, it had myriads of piercings all over its face, through its nose, eyebrows, lips and ear-lobes. And it was wearing a brown trilby hat over what appeared to be a completely bald head.

Brandi stood still with her mouth open.

Berri also stood still thinking her heart would burst. There, standing in the door-way was the most beautiful creature of feminine beauty Berri had ever seen. It must surely be an Angel! She couldn't breathe!

Brandi swallowed and was first to regain her composure. "Is this the Same Sex Parental Support Group Meeting?" she asked, flashing her brilliant multi-thousand dollar smile at Berri.

Berri turned a brilliant dark red and could only stutter in reply. Suddenly, she turned on her heel and fled away from the door, through the lounge room and into the bedroom she shared with Heather. Her heart was hammering so hard, she felt faint. Vaguely she wondered if she was about to swoon or something, like all those virginal school girls in the Mills and Boon crap shit romances. Instead her legs collapsed and she fell onto the bed.

Heather was soon beside her. "What's gotten into you?" she hissed, staring down at the mulberry and tomato coloured Berri. But Berri could only grunt.

Heather stared silently for a few seconds before walking back to the front door where a bewildered Brandi still stood.

"Hello, I'm Heather, please come in will you?" she said politely, understanding at a glance what was wrong with Berri. The woman was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! she thought, appraising Brandi's dress and make-up.
"And what is your name?" she asked, before escorting Brandi into the lounge room.

Some caution spoke to Brandi, some warning that she shouldn't identify herself as Cush's wife. With her new hairstyle and botox, Brandi knew she wouldn't be easily identified as such, so she had no hesitation in responding, "Kelly Adams is my name."


Heather escorted Brandi into the lounge room, where Brandi noted five couples and their children were already seated. Heather did the introductions and motioned Brandi to a comfortable but rather shabby old chair, draped with a faded towel.

Brandi looked eagerly at the people seated around the room. There were four lesbian couples and one gay couple. The lesbians were Trina and Micky; Deb and Corrie; Charm and Myrna, and she wasn't sure of the names of the other couple. The gay men were Tony and Ky. All had children or babies with them. Brandi noted that Tony and Ky had a very young baby.

She glanced around the room and took in its shabbiness, but noted the posters of children's drawings stuck on the walls, and the toys lying scattered around. She also noted the poster depicting the baby flying foxes all wrapped up like little babies stuck on the wall.

Heather was standing in the middle of the room and speaking. "My partner Berri is like currently indisposed," she began in a hesitant voice. "However we all know why we are here, so I'll ask someone to start the ball rolling if you umm like."

Ky, one of the gay men spoke first. "David and I and our son Tommy have all just arrived here from Melbourne, where there are already several Gay Parent Groups and....
David broke in....."We're just like so GLAD, like, that you are starting one here in Cairns..."
Ky then took over, "Truly, we were a bit worried about moving to Queensland, where, like you know, they do things a bit differently...."
Everyone here laughed, including Brandi. Queensland was the different State, no question about it.
"Yeah, they kill entire roosts of flying foxes here," put in Trina drily, pointing to the poster of the baby flying foxes on the wall.
"Wasn't that just dreadful," added Deb. "I couldn't believe it, when I heard about it!"

Brandi sat still thinking she was so right in not giving her real name.

"In Melbourne last year, we used sound waves to try and get a roost in the Royal Botanic Gardens to relocate to Yarra Bend Park," offered David. "It wasn't that successful, but some further efforts have resulted in the colony of flying foxes dispersing at least...."

"We don't just up and kill flying foxes in Melbourne!" explained Ky with a look of disgust.
"Bloody Queensland!" said Deb.
"Yeah, Queensland!" agreed Charm.
"That Cush is a sociopath or something," said Deb.
"Sociopath is the word!" agreed Trina.

"Poor liddle baby flying fuckers!" said a shrill, high pitched childish voice from the doorway of the kitchen and Heather raced to shush up Monsoon.

Everyone laughed as Heather came back, carrying Monsoon who was sucking her finger, suddenly shy at seeing all the strangers sitting around.

"So can we get onto the subject of our group now?" said Heather, plonking Monsoon down on a beanbag near Brandi.

"Right," said Deb. "We all know it isn't easy for us, and we're facing a good deal of wariness and even outright hostility out there in the mainstream community..."

"Hear, hear" murmered several voices.

"Our child, Elizabeth," continued Deb, motioning a small girl sitting on the floor beside her, happily involved with colouring in a large picture of elephants and lions, "has been going to a Day Care centre two days a week, where she is mostly exposed to the traditional family unit, of Mummy and Daddy and sibling. ..."

Heather interrupted, "Our daughter Monsoon, too..."

"Ditto, our son Lucian," added Charm, nodding at a small boy sitting curled up on her partner, Myrna's lap and sucking his thumb while solemnly staring at everyone.

"And Elizabeth has come home asking questions about, you know, " where is Daddy" so we have had to explain to her that she has two Mummys, but then we pick up a story book, and there it is again, you know, pictures and stories of Mummy and Daddy......"

"If you go online you can find suitable story books for children with same sex parents," broke in Ky helpfully.

"That's worthwhile knowing," said Charm. "I must do a search then."

"But this is what is beneficial to the kids, I think," put in Deb, waving her arms around. "Having a Same Sex Parental Support Group where the kids can be exposed to other family groups similar in nature to their own, so that they don't think their own family unit is so unique!"

"Exactly!" said David, "Which is why Ky and I are so supportive of the idea!"

"Another thing we need to do too, if we can, is to involve ourselves in our kid's Day Care centre, so that other children can see us, and get to know us as good parents and therefore hopefully gain acceptance. Corrie and I go as often as we can, and we volunteer to help out with the children's activities and fund raising and have gotten to know the other parents...." Deb continued. "You know kids are exposed to so many varieties of what comprises a family, single parent families, the extended family, the mixed family.....We are just adding another type of family mix, really."

Everyone nodded thoughtfully. Heather thought ruefully that Berri, with all her tattooes and shaved head, would probably not be accepted by little children. She sighed. She would have to be the one who did all the Day Care Centres and Schools!

Brandi was intrigued. She had never realised there was so much involved with parenting!
She thought of her own childhood, the only lonely daughter of an Australian actress, permanently on location in the USA. She was almost exclusively raised in boarding schools, seeing her glamorous Mother rarely on school holidays. Even then, it was only for media interviews and publicity for her media mad Mother. She had never known what a family was, Brandi thought with a sudden twinge of sadness.

Ky stood up and paced the floor, holding his baby against his chest and rubbing its tiny back.

"The most important aspect of child rearing is the quality of parenting, the quality and satisfaction of relationships in the family and the level of co-operation and harmony between the parents. If you haven't got that, then I think, you're headed for big problems." he said, while pacing the floor.

Heather absorbed what Ky said like a blow to the heart. "The level of co-operation and harmony between the parents". Oh God! she silently screamed, thinking of the growing problems between herself and Berri. "Co-operation?" Christ, she got practically no bloody co-operation. She stared at the closed bedroom door with disgust, wondering how long it would take for Berri to compose herself.

There was a flurry of voices following Ky's speech. Almost everyone seemed to be in a hurry to reassure themselves that they had stable, loving relationships.

Brandi became aware of a pair of eyes fixed on her, and looked down into the face of the small girl lying on the beanbag beside her. The little girl was staring steadfastly at Brandi, while hugging a grubby teddybear. "Youse a pwetty lady," said Monsoon, to Brandi.

Brandi preened, almost blushed. Compliments from a child were just so, so, so honest!

The baby Ky was holding suddenly let out a horrendous wail. Ky jumped, turned and handed the baby to Brandi. "Quick, hold him will you please? I've left his bottle in the car."

Brandi didn't have any choice in the matter. One minute she was staring at that funny little girl, and the next minute holding this squirming red faced hairless little frog thing who shrieked like a banshee. Gingerly, she held the bundle and rocked it from side to side.

The baby stopped shrieking once it sensed it had changed positions. It wrinkled its tiny flat nose, and opened its eyes, staring straight up at Brandi. As Brandi swam into focus, the baby's face relaxed, turning into a huge gummy smile.

"Ooooh," said Brandi in shock, "It likes me....I think."

The smile stayed, just for a couple of seconds and Brandi felt very strange as she leaned down and smelled those peculiar baby smells, of soap, powder and baby skin. Suddenly, her eyes all went teary and she felt her jaw tighten, her teeth clench, and an odd feeling inside her chest.
It was the strangest feeling, she had ever experienced. And she wasn't monged out either!
Then the smile dissolved into a huge yawing toothless mouth and the baby shrieked. Brandi
felt her nipples tingle very pleasantly.

Ky came swiftly inside then and took the baby from her. "Ta!" he said, quickly feeding the baby its bottle.

Brandi was in a daze for the rest of the meeting. The group decided to meet again in a fortnight's time at the same place. She thanked Heather and said her goodbyes to everyone, and drove home to the unit on the Esplanade. As she drove, she kept on seeing the baby, staring up at her with that huge smile. It still made her feel very very funny inside. It wasn't until she parked the car in the underground carpark of the unit complex, that she understood. She had just felt her body talking. Maternal instincts or what the hell it was called. Whatever, Brandi decided, she liked it.

She also thought of the strange creature who had answered the door when she first arrived. She had assessed that it was a woman called "Berri" who was Heather's partner. Never had Brandi ever seen such a strange looking woman in all her life!

................................

It was another terrible argument between Heather and Berri. Heather knew what had happened and she was furious. Insecure, jealous and feeling very pregnant, she turned on Berri, who was still lying on the bed.

"How dare you embarrass me like you did tonight!" she screamed at Berri.

Berri could only grunt a reply.

"So you've been lying here all night playing with yourself, thinking of that Kelly woman, and leaving me to be the hostess, look after Monsoon and clean up!" Heather spat out.

Berri slowly sat up. Heather knew her well enough to know when she was feeling lusty and Oh sweet Jesus, how she wanted that gorgeous looking woman, that divine Angel, that perfectly beautiful creamy woman with the deep red hair! She was sick with longing.

Heather heaved with emotion. They had to do something to try and save their relationship, she thought bitterly.

She had an inspiration. "Berri, I think it might be best if we separate just for a while, and try and get our heads sorted out."

Berri nodded silently.

"Perhaps you can go and stay with Derrick in Townsville for a few weeks...."
Berri nodded. Derrick had a Tattoo Parlour in Townsville and she often worked for him when he needed her.

So it was decided. They would trial separate and Berri would go to Townsville.

To be continued..................

Saturday 4 June 2011

OF WOMEN AND MICE....PART 5

Brandi leaned back on Cush's comfortable office chair, and studied the letter she had word-processed. She wondered if anything would happen once the Drug Squad at the Cairns Police Station received it. She wasn't stupid, she thought, she knew that the wife of a multi-millionaire would be viewed with a certain amount of intrepidation by police, even if that same wife was a drug addict and flaunting the laws of the country.

Brandi sighed heavily as she read what she had thoughtfully written:-

To Officer in Charge
Drug Squad
Cairns Police Station
CAIRNS

This is an anonymous dob-in which I hope you will act upon.
Mrs Rhianna Silvers, the former soapie star, is an Ecstacy addict and carries at least a dozen with her in her handbag all the time. She buys them regularly from someone she knows in Melbourne and she flies to Melbourne a lot.

Anonymous

Satisfied with what she had written, Brandi carefully folded the letter into an envelope. She would post it on her way to the Same Sex Parental Support Group Meeting which was on later that night, she thought.

A quick check on google revealed the retail price of Rhianna's Silver Mercedes SLR. The Cairns Post journalist was right in saying it was close to half a million dollars. Brandi clenched her teeth in disgust and jealousy. Cushie had never once bought her a car! Never! However now Brandi had a good idea why not. Cushie had lied to her about his money. Lied!

Another wave of anger washed over Brandi like a hot flash. If she played her cards right, and Rhianna Silvers was out of the way, she could make a play for Reg Silvers, her multi-millionaire husband. Reg Silvers was also a lot older than Cushie, besudes being richer, which made him all the more attractive. Much more attractive, Brandi reasoned.

After popping the sealed envelope in her handbag, Brandi checked her mobile phone and found the two incriminating images of Rhianna at the rave party. Quickly she downloaded them onto her own laptop. She had already found one of Reg Silver's cards in Cushy's desk, so she had his email address. Quickly, she typed up an email, attaching one of the photos. In the content of the message, she typed:-

I'M SURE ALL THE ELECTORS IN DIVISION TWO WILL ENJOY SEEING HOW YOUR WIFE ENJOYS HERSELF! I HAVE MORE OF THESE AND WILL POST THEM ON SOCIAL MEDIA SITES UNLESS YOU WITHDRAW YOUR INTENTION TO STAND AS COUNCILLOR IN DIVISION TWO. JUST DO IT.

For a few brief seconds she held off, pushing the "send" key. She tried to imagine the effect it would have on Reg Silvers. She wondered what would transpire between husband and wife once Reg realised Rhianna had not been faithful to him. Would Reg divorce her? Gosh, she hoped so!

Brandi giggled at the mayhem she would cause, and pushed the "send" button firmly.
There! It was all done. Now all she had to do was to sit back and wait until she heard the fireworks which no doubt Cushy would convey to her in some form or other.

...........................................................................

Berri and Healther were busy cleaning their small rented flat, and debating on how many fold up chairs to put out for the arrivals at their "Same Sex Parental Support Group" meeting. Berri
estimated they could have up to seven couples, plus maybe one of two unexpected ones.

Heather worried about whether she should bake a cake or make a slice, and serve tea and coffee rather than offer wine and beer.

"Everyone drinks wine these days," said Berri. "I can ride down and get a couple of bottles of a good Merlot and maybe some chardy as well."

"Trust you," Heather chided. "What about the Mums who are breast feeding, drinking alcohol isn't the best thing for them."

"You can gib us kids some corteeeall!" said Monsoon, hopefully. "Or some orrritch dooce."

Finally, they decided on offering both wine or tea and coffee and Heather would bake a healthy fruit loaf and make some tuna vol au vents.

Both were optimistic about the success of the Same Sex Parental Support Group. Already they had heard from two couples new to the Cairns area, who were very keen on meeting other same sex parents. In the brief discussion Berri had with them over the phone, they had also mentioned they were experiencing much the same problems that she and Heather were with young Monsoon.

........................................................

Joyce sat at her home computer, rigged up in a temporary home "office" in the old garage of her tiny duplex in Mundingburra, Townsville.

She had so much paperwork to do for the Mundingburra Branch of the ALP, letters to send off conveying branch motions to various Ministers, letters seeking answers to questions raised by branch members, and the Minutes of the last Branch Meeting to type and distribute.

She was so happy in her role as Branch Secretary! She had already visited some former branch members to find out why they had not been attending meetings and found much to her delight that some of them had started attending meetings again. "Now we have a Secretary on the ball again," one of them explained, giving Joyce a cheerful wink.

She had also asked a couple from the school P & C meetings, and a woman from the St Vinnie store where she worked, to come along to meetings, and much to her delight they all came and signed up memberships. She, Joyce Cush, had almost doubled the number attending meetings in only three months!

As she typed away, she wondered if she might take on some more positions within the local ALP in Townsville. She was curious about local government and would like to know more, she thought. Perhaps she would nominate to become a branch delegate to the Townsville MEC meetings. She decided she would express an interest at the next Branch meeting.


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