The Editor of Rupert Murdoch's newspaper "The Cairns Post" stood at the window of The
Cairns Post building, marvelling at the huge Chinese red flag painted on the side of the newest tower in Cairns.
It never ceased to amaze him just how much had been achieved by His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush and his Council, since being overwhelmingly elected by the people of Cairns and district just a short eighteen months ago. All that idiotic nonsense about an Entertainment Precinct for Cairns had thankfully bitten the dust, and instead of a "monument to an ego" being built, the land had been sold to a Chinese corporation by the Cush Council, and a large, imposing 64 floor gleaming white tower had been built in its place. It symbolized Cush, thought the Editor, and the strong leadership and direction he was giving Cairns.
Oh, there had been some opposition to the painting of the Chinese red flag, which was visible all over the city and as far South as Woree, especially from some old boys in the RSL. "The red symbolizes the communist revolution, and the large yellow star represents communism," they had thundered in outrage. "We don't want that in this city!"
The Editor smiled indulgently at the memory. Old boys and their quaint, old fashioned beliefs! Most Cairns people however liked it and were forever making the comparison that it was much preferable to the former Mayor, Val Schier's plan to have her "monument to an ego" on the site.
Besides many Cairns people had written in to "The Cairns Post" saying the attractive red and yellow on the flag, added a much needed splash of colour to the Cairns skyline.
Siobhan, the fashion editor for "The Cairns Post" had declared the yellow and red of the flag to be the "new fashion colours for Cairns" and had written that she would be proudly wearing an outfit of cherry red and sunny yellow to the Cairns Amateurs that year. That had been the cue for so many Cairns women to design their own yellow and red outfits, and the 2013 Cairns Amateurs had been a blaze of reds and yellows. Siobhan's own outfit featured a red suit dotted with yellow stars and a fascinator in the shape of a yellow star.
Siobhan's partner, Zane, looked at her with disgust as they drove to the Cannon Park Racecourse. "Mao designed that flag," he told her, "after the communist revolution. The red is for the revolution and the blood spilled during it, and the yellow star is for communism, while the little yellow stars are for the people."
"I don't know who on earth you're talking about," Siobhan replied sulkily, pushing her bottom lip out. "I don't know anyone called Mao. What a stupid name anyway." Zane gave up.
As he looked up Abbott Street and Spence Street, the Editor saw the growing influence of Chinese businesses in the central business district. Gone were the many Japanese tourist shops which had existed within the CBD for several decades, to be replaced by Chinese professional and tourist shop fronts.
The arrival of the Chinese as an economic force in Cairns had been a boon to the city, the Editor decided. Soon after the tower had commenced construction, they had added their voice and weight to the long drawn out quest to have the Cairns inlet widened and regularly dredged to allow more shipping into Port. There had been a long, ongoing inquiry into environmental concerns by the Queensland Government, and, thanks to the Chinese muscle, that inquiry had been fast tracked and resolved in the affirmative. Oh, the Chinese had to take the environmental agencies to Court, and it had been a long and bitter battle, but the Chinese had won in the end. The Editor had been delighted to write the story, praising both Colonel Cush and the Chinese for their persistence, and slamming the bullshit bureaucratic red tape which had held up the dredging operations for so long. Where do these environmental agencies get off? he often wondered.
Two dredges sent from China were currently working away in the port, right now. The Editor marvelled again at just how quick and efficient the Chinese were. No mucking about!
As he walked back slowly to his desk, to write the Editorial supporting the development of a large "Executive Training and Retreat" complex on Mt Whitfield, sudden unbidden images of last nights sex acts at "The Red Plum" filled his mind. He and Deputy Mayor, Bob (Horsey) Horseman, had spent a few very enjoyable hours there last night watching the unbelievable contortions of a couple of entertainers showing just how inventive sex could be. The establishment of "Gentlemen's Clubs" had been another much welcomed innovation of Colonel Cush and his Council, and Cairns now boasted six such clubs.
The images made him involuntarily shiver and his balls ache. Abruptly, he turned to go into the gents.
...................................................................................................
Angela Warrington-Mather sat on her decking overlooking Mt Whitfield, and fumed as she sipped her chardie. Never, never had she been spoken down to as His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush, had done to her that morning on the local radio talk-back show!!
He had spoken to her as if she was a simpleton or a child. He had been so rude and dismissive and had cut her off. She fumed as she looked at the mountainside of Mt Whitfield and in her minds eye saw a huge complex stretching out across the vista instead of the pleasant verdant image of trees, shrubbery and grasses.
They would fight this, she determined. Oh, never in her life had Angela Warrington-Mather fought for anything. She was always very clear that she did not agree with conservationists or greenies because let's face it, they were against development and progress. She had nothing against the Chinese establishing a huge "Exeuctive Training and Recreation" centre in Cairns either, but, she reasoned, not on Mt. Whitfield. Not destroying her lovely views of an afternoon when she and her husband drank their wines of an evening and enjoyed the fragrances of the exotic vegetation drifting on the wind from the mountain. The vistas from her balcony added considerable value to her lovely home as well. I mean, who the hell would want to buy it, if it overlooked three thousand Chinese men jogging up and down the Blue Arrow or something? Why couldn't Cush and the Council sell all those disgusting houses in what was that awful street in Manoora? Oh, yes, Murray Street. Why didn't the Council sell all of those and build the Chinese complex there? She felt a lump rise in her throat at the thought of losing money and poured herself another glass of chardie.
She would get the people of Stratford, Redlynch, Freshwater, Brinsmead, Whitfield and Edge Hill to alll rise up and protest this development, big time. BIG TIME!
....................................................................................................
Councillor Troy (Dougie) Dunnysmore sat in front of His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush, in the Mayor's office.
"We will be voting on the sale of a parcel of land on Mt Whitfield tomorrow," explained
Cush carefully, eyeing Dunnysmore with a hard stare and trying not to grimace as he looked at Dunnysmore's very yellow face. "It's a parcel of land owned by the Council, and not the National Park area. I want to make that clear to you. We have an offer from a Chinese corporation who want to build a comprehensive executive training and recreation facilility on the land and the sale will provide the Council with sufficient funds to keep down any rise in rates for next years budget. Now as you know I am committed to not raising the rates during my term in office. Are you with me?"
Dunnysmore nodded. "I am also committed to not raising the rates," he said. "In fact it was one of my pledges during my election."
"Good," replied Cush. "So can I have your support in the Chamber, when the vote comes up?
There will be the usual objections from the greenies, socialists and ratbags in the Council like Mingin and Lovelady, but you don't have to take any notice of those fools."
"I'm not a greenie," replied Dunnysmore. "I support anything which will provide jobs and income to the people of Cairns, and it sounds like this development will be good for Cairns."
Cush was delighted. "Good!" he beamed, slapping the desk in front of him.
"Now I have another proposal ready to be put forward to Council as well, and these are two applications from the Stringfellow Corporation to establish two Stringfellow Gentlemen's Clubs, one in the Cairns Central Business District and another at Port Douglas," Cush continued, turning his back on Dunnysmore to look at some papers.
With his back turned, he didn't see the look of horror which flashed across Dunnysmore's face.
"Uh huh," mumbled Dunnysmore.
Cush took this as an affirmative. "Good," he replied, still not looking up from the paperwork.
"Well that's all for now. I'm sure you have something else to do."
He waved his hand regally at Dunnysmore who, feeling quite relieved, quickly fled the Mayor's office.
It had been quite an experience for Dunnysmore, the Councillor for Division 2, that first morning. He had expected hostility from the other Councillors, however he had been jovially welcomed by the big aboriginal Councillor for Division 5, Mervyn Mingin. "How yer goin' bro," Mingin had boomed in a large voice, "we got another coloured bro in the Council hey?" as he thumped him on the back. Councillors Piper and Bomboniere had been very cordial, showing him his desk and taking him to meet all the Council staff. Councillor Skye Lovelady had also been very pleasant, presenting him with some environmentally friendly cleaning materials to clean his desk. Lovelady had been so beautiful in the flesh, that she had literally taken his breath away. Oh, she always looked a lovely creature in the photos in "The Cairns Post", but meeting her in real life, she was just a vision of perfection itself. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen!
As he emerged from the Mayor's office, he automatically sought out Councillor Lovelady. There she was, standing in one of the corridors, in close conversation with one of the engineers. He stood for a while, drinking in her beauty. "Bro, she's taken!" whispered a voice close behind.
He jumped and spun around to see Councillor Mingin standing behind.
Dunnysmore shrugged his shoulders and gave a Bee Gees' giggle.
"Come and have lunch with me in the cafe, bro," suggested Mingin. "And you can ask me any question you want about the Council and its operations and I'll try to answer them for you."
As Dunnysmore headed downstairs to the Council cafeteria, he thought that maybe, just maybe he could really enjoy being a Councillor with the Cairns Regional Council.
To be continued................
THIS IS A WORK OF POLITICAL SATIRE SET IN THE TOURIST CITY OF CAIRNS, AUSTRALIA IN 2013. CAIRNS IS BEING URGED BY 'SHOCK JOCKS' THAT WE NEED A 'STRONG' MAYOR. THIS IS WHAT COULD HAPPEN.... I AM WRITING IT IN SHORT INSTALMENTS, HAVE A LAUGH AND ENJOY. THE BLOG IS NOW READ BY PEOPLE GLOBALLY AND IS ATTRACTING 1000 VIEWS A WEEK. I SUPPORT OCCUPY WALL STREET AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. TERRY VANCE, CAIRNS (C) 2011
Wednesday, 31 August 2011
Saturday, 20 August 2011
CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 3
"Mt Whitfield will be sold to a Chinese Corporation who will be paying the Council good money, good money, I repeat, to develop an executive retreat and training facility there," His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Cush, patiently told the woman caller, "Angela of Whitfield" on the local radio talk back program.
Cush was being patient and using his best "commanding officer" voice. Inwardly he was raging. That fucken prick of a bastard, fucken Dom Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, had alerted the people of Whitfield that a large parcel of land on Mt Whitfield was planned to be sold. Cush had read the announcement on Piper's FACEBOOK page. Cush and his Deputy Mayor, Bob (Horsey) Horsman had been planning the sale covertly for some months and he sure as shits' sake didn't want the greenies, conservationists, socialists, artsy-fartsy dingbats and one eyed NIMBYS all up in arms before the sale was all tied up.
This Angela just shitted Cush right off. She was persistent, with that whining, high pitched voice that women often adopt when arguing. "But that land was purchased by the last Council, when Val Schier was Mayor, purposefully so that it NOT be developed, and we could keep our beautiful rainforested mountain....."
Cush sighed right into the microphone and adopted a more patronising tone. "Lady, you all voted the previous Mayor right out of office because she didn't DO anything for Cairns, is that right....?"
"Ye, yes," answered Angela of Whitfield stammering doubtfully. "But, but....."
"In fact,"broke in Cush, still talking slowly and with dramatic emphasis, "people in your Division, which is Division 8 voted overwhelmingly AGAINST the previous Mayor, Val Schier, and gave me a 90% vote of approval. They voted for me BECAUSE, BECAUSE, dear lady, I said that I would get Cairns moving again, and get construction going again. Which I point out, dear lady, that I have done. The people of Cairns all said, they ALL said, they wanted construction works going up all over the city. Construction to employ locals, give locals jobs........."
Angela would not be defeated. "But, but....but...," she kept on stammering, as Cush gathered momentum and went for the kill.
"The Mt Whitfield project is a massive project, comprising of a 3,000 roomed hotel, with squash courts, saunas, swimming pools, a mini golf course, several restaurants, and night clubs. It will provide work during construction for hundreds of Cairns locals, and once completed will provide permanent work for the hotel and associated staff,." Cush continued.
"But it is OUR mountain!" squeaked Angela. "And you never consulted us......"
Cush raised his voice. "Lady, if I was to consult all the people of Cairns for every single decision the Cairns Regional Council did, nothing would ever be done! Instead I would be listening to stupid, anti-development hippies and greenies like you who oppose any new building or project just because you have nothing better to do."
Angela squealed in indignation. "Wha'aaat?"
"Goodbye dear lady," said Cush, indicating to the shock jock, he had finished with the call.
"Christ," said the radio shock jock, as he put a record on, "there's so many of the loonies out
there alright, greenies, hippies, lefties. Imagine the gall of the woman whinging that they were not consulted. You really wonder where these people have come from."
"She's one of the NOT IN MY BACK YARD fuckwits," agreed Cush. "They're all for development, but only if it isn't near them. All they can think about is how it is going to affect their pathetic property values. Well the Whitfield NIMBYS can all go take a
running jump, because this project is going ahead, come hell or high water."
"It's one of the best things ever for Cairns," agreed the radio shock jock fawningly. "I just love the way you won't take any nonsense from them."
"They elected me for strong leadership and to take the city in a strong direction," Cush replied loftily, "And I am doing just that."
The next caller, was the regular, Reg of Redlynch.
"Ooooh maaaate, maaaate," said Reg to Cush, "This Chinese executive retreat is the best thing for Cairns I have heard of in decades. Think of the businesses which will benefit from this and the jobs for our kids hey?"
"Agreed," Cush replied curtly.
"But oh those bloody whingers," went on Reg of Redlynch. "I mean, I just couldn't believe when that half witted woman, what's her name, Angela, reckoned they were not consulted. I mean, COME ON hey? It's like you said, if the Council has to consult with the community on every decision then you wouldn't be able to do anything at all. I mean, you would spend all your time, every day, listening to whingers and whiners like her."
"Exactly Reg," answered Cush. "Thanks for your sensible comments."
The next caller was Marva, another regular caller on the shock jock's talk-back program.
"Colonel Cush, you are the best Mayor Cairns has ever had. I mean, we voted for you because we wanted strong leadership. We didn't want some weak person who can't do anything because they need to get the permissions from the people. We voted for you because you make all those decisions for us and get Cairns moving again. This Angela woman, I think she should leave Australia and go to a Communist country....."
"Thank you Marva," said Colonel Cush, ending the call. He had heard Marva before and wondered if she wasn't insane to be quite frank.
The next caller was Heather of Parramatta Park.
"I agree with Angela," said a very determined sounding female voice. "The people of Whitfield and Edge Hill should most certainly have been consulted about this huge development...."
"You're not the Mayor of Cairns," retorted Cush rudely. "I am, and I make the decisions. If the Chinese corporation.............."
"You're a bloody dictator, not a Mayor!," broke in Heather loudly.
"Oh dear, we seem to have lost Heather from Parramatta Park," said the radio shock jock, writing furiously on a notebook in front of him. NEVER APPROVE ANYONE BY THE NAME OF HEATHER TO TALK ON PROGRAM. Later he would give that to the girls who screened his callers.
"We have another caller," said the shock jock, "and you are all listening to His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush.
The next caller, "Wade of Woree" sounded instantly familiar to the shock jock, and it took him quite a few seconds to recognise his old sparring partner, "Wayne of Bayview Heights."
"What's the name of the Chinese Corporation buying the land?" asked Wade.
"I can't divulge that information yet," answered Cush warily.
"Why not mate, you seem to know what they want? Seems a bit funny to me, you can't
tell us the name of the Corporation,," persisted Wade.
"The sale is still at discussion stages," said Cush testily. "We don't have all the details yet."
"Will you be telling the Chinese corporation that they are building their retreat on a much
loved conservation area in Cairns?" asked Wade. "Bought specifically by the last Council to
preserve the mountains and rainforested areas around Cairns........"
Cush sneered over the microphone. "I will tell the Chinese just what they need to know."
"Yeah, I bet you will...." said Wade, as the shock jock cut him off.
"We're going to music now," said the shock jock.
"The rudeness of some of these callers!" the shock jock shook his head. "I could hardly believe my ears when he asked for the name of the Chinese corporation. I mean, don't these bloody clowns now that these types of deals have to be kept private?"
"Yeah," grunted Cush.
"I mean," said the shock jock, "they have these naive, childish ideas about open government. They elect Councils to make decisions for them, and then they want to know the ins and outs of all those decisions. Wanting to know the name of the Chinese Corporation, indeed! What an idiot!"
....................................................
Cush left the building of the local radio station and walked to the offices of "The Cairns Post".
He would get the Editor, who thankfully was "on side" and who would do whatever he asked, when he asked, to write an Editorial on the Whitfield Project. He and Horsey would make a cool two million each from the sale of the land, and he didn't want any rogue Councillor, like Dom fucken Piper to fuck it up.
He had anticipated a certain element of people from around Mt Whitfield would come out screaming the usual "Not in my back yard" taunts. Fucken NIMBYS. If you got all the fucken NIMBYS in Cairns together, he thought, there wouldn't be a single business or tourist development in the city.
He still fumed at the idiocy of that woman "Angela of Whitfield." Why the fuck were there simpletons around who thought, who actually thought they had some sort of right to be "consulted" over his decisions? Cairns had never ever had a Mayor like himself. The city was buzzing. A string of nightclubs and Girlie Clubs right in the CBD, a huge monumental tower, over 65 floors in height, stood on the site of the proposed Cairns Entertainment Precinct.
He and Horsey had made a few bob on that one, selling to a Chinese Corporation who had painted the Chinese Flag on the side of the building so that it stood out all over the city.
He sure as fuck's sake didn't go to the people of Cairns getting their bloody hillbilly opinions on that one! Oh some RSL old boys had a bit of a whinge about having the Chinese flag in such a prominent position where it could be seen all over the city and as far South as Woree, but no-one else had minded. Everyone, except for some poofters, had all been so glad that the previous Mayor hadn't got her wish to build a stupid Entertainment Precinct on it. Oh, he had had some pissweak people into see him from the Cairns bloody Choral Society, and some Youth Orchestra and a few other people he couldn't be bothered remembering, all whinging and bellyaching about how he closed up the old Cairns Civic Theatre and how they no longer had a community theatre to perform in. He told them the facts straight off. "The people of Cairns don't want that sort of entertainment foisted on them. They made it quite plain during the years that the previous Mayor was crapping her pants about having a new theatre. I was voted in by the people of Cairns, after I promised that I would spend NO MONEY whatsoever on bloody arts and shit!" Oh, that had shut them all up.
As he walked into the offices of "The Cairns Post", it suddenly occurred to him, that he had an appointment later that day with the new Division 2 Councillor, Dougie Dunnysmore. He hoped to Christ he wouldn't have any problems with him and the Mt Whitfield project. As for Dom fucken Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, Cush had had a gutful of him. He and Horsey needed to have a damned good talk about what to do with him.
................................................
Cush was being patient and using his best "commanding officer" voice. Inwardly he was raging. That fucken prick of a bastard, fucken Dom Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, had alerted the people of Whitfield that a large parcel of land on Mt Whitfield was planned to be sold. Cush had read the announcement on Piper's FACEBOOK page. Cush and his Deputy Mayor, Bob (Horsey) Horsman had been planning the sale covertly for some months and he sure as shits' sake didn't want the greenies, conservationists, socialists, artsy-fartsy dingbats and one eyed NIMBYS all up in arms before the sale was all tied up.
This Angela just shitted Cush right off. She was persistent, with that whining, high pitched voice that women often adopt when arguing. "But that land was purchased by the last Council, when Val Schier was Mayor, purposefully so that it NOT be developed, and we could keep our beautiful rainforested mountain....."
Cush sighed right into the microphone and adopted a more patronising tone. "Lady, you all voted the previous Mayor right out of office because she didn't DO anything for Cairns, is that right....?"
"Ye, yes," answered Angela of Whitfield stammering doubtfully. "But, but....."
"In fact,"broke in Cush, still talking slowly and with dramatic emphasis, "people in your Division, which is Division 8 voted overwhelmingly AGAINST the previous Mayor, Val Schier, and gave me a 90% vote of approval. They voted for me BECAUSE, BECAUSE, dear lady, I said that I would get Cairns moving again, and get construction going again. Which I point out, dear lady, that I have done. The people of Cairns all said, they ALL said, they wanted construction works going up all over the city. Construction to employ locals, give locals jobs........."
Angela would not be defeated. "But, but....but...," she kept on stammering, as Cush gathered momentum and went for the kill.
"The Mt Whitfield project is a massive project, comprising of a 3,000 roomed hotel, with squash courts, saunas, swimming pools, a mini golf course, several restaurants, and night clubs. It will provide work during construction for hundreds of Cairns locals, and once completed will provide permanent work for the hotel and associated staff,." Cush continued.
"But it is OUR mountain!" squeaked Angela. "And you never consulted us......"
Cush raised his voice. "Lady, if I was to consult all the people of Cairns for every single decision the Cairns Regional Council did, nothing would ever be done! Instead I would be listening to stupid, anti-development hippies and greenies like you who oppose any new building or project just because you have nothing better to do."
Angela squealed in indignation. "Wha'aaat?"
"Goodbye dear lady," said Cush, indicating to the shock jock, he had finished with the call.
"Christ," said the radio shock jock, as he put a record on, "there's so many of the loonies out
there alright, greenies, hippies, lefties. Imagine the gall of the woman whinging that they were not consulted. You really wonder where these people have come from."
"She's one of the NOT IN MY BACK YARD fuckwits," agreed Cush. "They're all for development, but only if it isn't near them. All they can think about is how it is going to affect their pathetic property values. Well the Whitfield NIMBYS can all go take a
running jump, because this project is going ahead, come hell or high water."
"It's one of the best things ever for Cairns," agreed the radio shock jock fawningly. "I just love the way you won't take any nonsense from them."
"They elected me for strong leadership and to take the city in a strong direction," Cush replied loftily, "And I am doing just that."
The next caller, was the regular, Reg of Redlynch.
"Ooooh maaaate, maaaate," said Reg to Cush, "This Chinese executive retreat is the best thing for Cairns I have heard of in decades. Think of the businesses which will benefit from this and the jobs for our kids hey?"
"Agreed," Cush replied curtly.
"But oh those bloody whingers," went on Reg of Redlynch. "I mean, I just couldn't believe when that half witted woman, what's her name, Angela, reckoned they were not consulted. I mean, COME ON hey? It's like you said, if the Council has to consult with the community on every decision then you wouldn't be able to do anything at all. I mean, you would spend all your time, every day, listening to whingers and whiners like her."
"Exactly Reg," answered Cush. "Thanks for your sensible comments."
The next caller was Marva, another regular caller on the shock jock's talk-back program.
"Colonel Cush, you are the best Mayor Cairns has ever had. I mean, we voted for you because we wanted strong leadership. We didn't want some weak person who can't do anything because they need to get the permissions from the people. We voted for you because you make all those decisions for us and get Cairns moving again. This Angela woman, I think she should leave Australia and go to a Communist country....."
"Thank you Marva," said Colonel Cush, ending the call. He had heard Marva before and wondered if she wasn't insane to be quite frank.
The next caller was Heather of Parramatta Park.
"I agree with Angela," said a very determined sounding female voice. "The people of Whitfield and Edge Hill should most certainly have been consulted about this huge development...."
"You're not the Mayor of Cairns," retorted Cush rudely. "I am, and I make the decisions. If the Chinese corporation.............."
"You're a bloody dictator, not a Mayor!," broke in Heather loudly.
"Oh dear, we seem to have lost Heather from Parramatta Park," said the radio shock jock, writing furiously on a notebook in front of him. NEVER APPROVE ANYONE BY THE NAME OF HEATHER TO TALK ON PROGRAM. Later he would give that to the girls who screened his callers.
"We have another caller," said the shock jock, "and you are all listening to His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush.
The next caller, "Wade of Woree" sounded instantly familiar to the shock jock, and it took him quite a few seconds to recognise his old sparring partner, "Wayne of Bayview Heights."
"What's the name of the Chinese Corporation buying the land?" asked Wade.
"I can't divulge that information yet," answered Cush warily.
"Why not mate, you seem to know what they want? Seems a bit funny to me, you can't
tell us the name of the Corporation,," persisted Wade.
"The sale is still at discussion stages," said Cush testily. "We don't have all the details yet."
"Will you be telling the Chinese corporation that they are building their retreat on a much
loved conservation area in Cairns?" asked Wade. "Bought specifically by the last Council to
preserve the mountains and rainforested areas around Cairns........"
Cush sneered over the microphone. "I will tell the Chinese just what they need to know."
"Yeah, I bet you will...." said Wade, as the shock jock cut him off.
"We're going to music now," said the shock jock.
"The rudeness of some of these callers!" the shock jock shook his head. "I could hardly believe my ears when he asked for the name of the Chinese corporation. I mean, don't these bloody clowns now that these types of deals have to be kept private?"
"Yeah," grunted Cush.
"I mean," said the shock jock, "they have these naive, childish ideas about open government. They elect Councils to make decisions for them, and then they want to know the ins and outs of all those decisions. Wanting to know the name of the Chinese Corporation, indeed! What an idiot!"
....................................................
Cush left the building of the local radio station and walked to the offices of "The Cairns Post".
He would get the Editor, who thankfully was "on side" and who would do whatever he asked, when he asked, to write an Editorial on the Whitfield Project. He and Horsey would make a cool two million each from the sale of the land, and he didn't want any rogue Councillor, like Dom fucken Piper to fuck it up.
He had anticipated a certain element of people from around Mt Whitfield would come out screaming the usual "Not in my back yard" taunts. Fucken NIMBYS. If you got all the fucken NIMBYS in Cairns together, he thought, there wouldn't be a single business or tourist development in the city.
He still fumed at the idiocy of that woman "Angela of Whitfield." Why the fuck were there simpletons around who thought, who actually thought they had some sort of right to be "consulted" over his decisions? Cairns had never ever had a Mayor like himself. The city was buzzing. A string of nightclubs and Girlie Clubs right in the CBD, a huge monumental tower, over 65 floors in height, stood on the site of the proposed Cairns Entertainment Precinct.
He and Horsey had made a few bob on that one, selling to a Chinese Corporation who had painted the Chinese Flag on the side of the building so that it stood out all over the city.
He sure as fuck's sake didn't go to the people of Cairns getting their bloody hillbilly opinions on that one! Oh some RSL old boys had a bit of a whinge about having the Chinese flag in such a prominent position where it could be seen all over the city and as far South as Woree, but no-one else had minded. Everyone, except for some poofters, had all been so glad that the previous Mayor hadn't got her wish to build a stupid Entertainment Precinct on it. Oh, he had had some pissweak people into see him from the Cairns bloody Choral Society, and some Youth Orchestra and a few other people he couldn't be bothered remembering, all whinging and bellyaching about how he closed up the old Cairns Civic Theatre and how they no longer had a community theatre to perform in. He told them the facts straight off. "The people of Cairns don't want that sort of entertainment foisted on them. They made it quite plain during the years that the previous Mayor was crapping her pants about having a new theatre. I was voted in by the people of Cairns, after I promised that I would spend NO MONEY whatsoever on bloody arts and shit!" Oh, that had shut them all up.
As he walked into the offices of "The Cairns Post", it suddenly occurred to him, that he had an appointment later that day with the new Division 2 Councillor, Dougie Dunnysmore. He hoped to Christ he wouldn't have any problems with him and the Mt Whitfield project. As for Dom fucken Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, Cush had had a gutful of him. He and Horsey needed to have a damned good talk about what to do with him.
................................................
Sunday, 14 August 2011
CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 2
We fought the fucken commies in Vietnam fifty years ago and now everyone believes we beat the crap out of 'em. All that fucken Hollywood spewing out those fucken Chuck Norris movies. Every bastard you meet today says, "I've been over there and they're just like us now." Just like us. Yeah, just like us. My arse. Hardly any Australian bastard today understands what communism is. Only ideology most people have today is "Look after Number One." That, and buy, buy, buy, more, more, more. Cush thought disgustedly as he spluttered into his glass of merlot. Australians just gave him the shits more and more as time went on.
Cush was watching the 60 Minutes program on Bud Yarrow, the newly elected Cairns Regional Councillor, who had been found guilty of mass child murder in both Vietnam and Bali. The
journalists were interviewing Australians who had used Yarrow's Medical Services Agency in
Vietnam. They were conservative looking, middle aged Australians from Brisbane. "Oh, if it wasn't for Mr Yarrow," the woman twittered nervously, "we would have had to pay out $15,000 for my husband's teeth to be fixed in Australia. Dentistry in Australia is just so expensive, I mean no-one can afford the dentists fees there anymore."
Yeah, that's right, thought Cush, we have the private enterprise country and regard private enterprise as a fucken sacred cow, then we all piss off to a commie country and use their services while whinging and bellyaching on national television about the costs of private enterprise. Fucken Australians!
He couldn't help feeling sour. The 60 Minutes team had travelled to Vietnam, exposing the
huge number of Yarrow's victims, as well as interviewing the Vietnamese Police Minister and various Australians staying in Yarrow's hotels.
Nearly fifty years ago, he had volunteered to fight the commies and arrived, as an eager, bright eyed and busy tailed nineteen year old in Vietnam in time for the Tet Offensive of 1967. What the fuck was it all for? he thought bitterly, swallowing more of his merlot.
The 60 Minutes program wasn't all about Bud Yarrow, who was scheduled to be executed by firing squad in either Indonesia or Vietnam within the week, depending on which country
won the argument they were embroiled in over who got to shoot the mass murderer. The program also covered the recent Cairns Regional Council By-Election in which Bud Yarrow had been voted into Council by the residents of Division Two.
Cush watched with a sneer as the program detailed the day of the by-election and an interview with the Reverend Harmon. Thank fucken Christ, the bloody happy clappin' sky pilot wasn't going to come into the Council, Cush thought.
It had been a hell of a fortnight since the by-election. Cush had quickly had to distance himself from being the person who made the decision to nominate Bud Yarrow as Conservative Party Candidate, and with the help of Horsey, his Deputy Mayor, and the Editor of the local Murdoch newspaper, "The Cairns Post" had pinned the entire blame on the Secretary of the Cairns Conservative Party, Ms Brooklyn Taylor-Downs. Oh, Ms Taylor-Downs had screeched and squealed but soon shut up when it was hinted that she had nominated Bud Yarrow because she had been having an affair with him and did her boyfriend know? Cush heard she had left Cairns which suited him fine.
The Murdoch media which had openly supported Bud Yarrow, with glowing editorials urging voters to vote for him in the by-election, went immediately into damage control.
Councillor Skye Lovelady's efforts to have the Department of Environment take legal action against Colonel Cush for killing an entire colony of flying foxes in the central business district fell through, with the Department advising that it would not prosecute. The editor of "The Cairns Post" latched onto this with great relief, and published the story on the front page, under banner headlines of "DEPARTMENT SUPPORTS KILLING OF FLYING FOXES". The accompanying photograph blown up to half a page in size, was one the Editor repeatedly printed of the only female Councillor, Skye Lovelady where her long golden hair was curled up under her armpit.
Councillor Lovelady was an arrestingly attractive young woman, but the long hair, caught up under her arm looked like a bristling brush full of underarm hair. The Editor loved it as much as he loved referring to Lovelady as "the hairy one in the Council" or "Lady Hairmouth" and other such insults. Councillor Lovelady was the only Greens Party Councillor on the Council and loathed by Cush and the Conservative Party.
The local radio shock jock who had absented himself for over a week after his own declarations of enthusiastic support for Bud Yarrow and his claims of close friendship with the killer, returned to his talk-back program with a sneering attack on Councillor Lovelady.
"Did everyone see that disgusting, revolting sight on the front page of todays "Cairns Post?" he asked. "I almost vomited up my cornflakes after seeing that. I mean, does that woman know the meaning of personal grooming or does she like to present herself as a female yeti or something? Has anyone out there got a damned razor or maybe a pair of shears would be more appropriate, to send her?"
First of the callers was Siobhan of Whitfield, "Ooooh yuk," she twittered, "I thought it was just gross, I mean, I really thought I was going to pass out or something, I dunno if I will be able to go to work today after seeing that............."
Regular caller, Marva, was next. "I have some garden secateurs she could use," she laughed.
The shock jock thought this was hilarious and laughed along with Marva.
Lulled into a good mood, the shock jock momentarily forgot the characteristics of the next caller. "Wayne of Bayview Heights."
"You're one sick fuck, mate," said Wayne rapidly. "You approve of the mass slaughter of flying foxes and claim a mass child killer is your best friend and the best bloke.............."
"Oh, we seem to have lost Wayne of Bayview Heights," stumbled the shock jock, switching his program to music.
The media machine in Cairns was back to normality.
..............................
Cush had encountered enormous difficulties with trying to get his own replacement for Bud Yarrow now that Yarrow was officially disqualified from holding office. The Minister for Local Government had flatly refused his request to hold a further by-election for Division 2 and had told Cush that he intended frcing special legislation through State Parliament enabling the next-in-line candidate the right to take up office should the winning candidate be disqualified.
"We're having too fucken many by-elections, and it's costing the State too much fucken money!" the Minister for Local Government had growled at Cush, before hanging up his phone as Cush started to protest.
It had been a mongrel of a fortnight. A right mongrel! The result of all of this was that the new Councillor for Division 2 was that little yellow freak, Dougie Dunnysmore. However Cush and Horsey had plans for Mr Dunnysmore.
Plans which the little yellow freak had better heed, Cush thought grimly, pouring himself yet another glass of merlot. The sale of the 21.5 hectares of rainforest land on Whitfield Hill to a Chinese Corporation was ready to be voted on by Council, and Cush didn't want that loopy little poof to fuck it all up. He didn't want another Greenie in the Council like fucken Lovelady who was always rabbiting on about saving the hillslopes of Cairns and the fucken beauty of the rainforests. He and Horsey stood to make at least two mill. each from the sale, and no-one, NO-ONE was going to stop them.
The 60 Minutes program ended with the journalist saying something about the Reverend Harmon's campaign to be elected as Councillor was "in all probability, deliberately hijacked with the publication of misleading information about his private life. Suspicion points to Colonel Ken Cush and his Conservative Party............"
Cush switched the program off with a flick of his remote control. Bloody good thing Australians don't remember anything these days for too long, he thought. The whole bloody fiasco of the sky pilot, Bud Yarrow and all that shit would be forgotten by most residents within a couple of weeks.
He drained his glass of merlot and thought about what he was going to say to Dougie Dunnysmore, the new Councillor for Division 2 when he rocked up to the Council the following day.
To be continued.....................
Cush was watching the 60 Minutes program on Bud Yarrow, the newly elected Cairns Regional Councillor, who had been found guilty of mass child murder in both Vietnam and Bali. The
journalists were interviewing Australians who had used Yarrow's Medical Services Agency in
Vietnam. They were conservative looking, middle aged Australians from Brisbane. "Oh, if it wasn't for Mr Yarrow," the woman twittered nervously, "we would have had to pay out $15,000 for my husband's teeth to be fixed in Australia. Dentistry in Australia is just so expensive, I mean no-one can afford the dentists fees there anymore."
Yeah, that's right, thought Cush, we have the private enterprise country and regard private enterprise as a fucken sacred cow, then we all piss off to a commie country and use their services while whinging and bellyaching on national television about the costs of private enterprise. Fucken Australians!
He couldn't help feeling sour. The 60 Minutes team had travelled to Vietnam, exposing the
huge number of Yarrow's victims, as well as interviewing the Vietnamese Police Minister and various Australians staying in Yarrow's hotels.
Nearly fifty years ago, he had volunteered to fight the commies and arrived, as an eager, bright eyed and busy tailed nineteen year old in Vietnam in time for the Tet Offensive of 1967. What the fuck was it all for? he thought bitterly, swallowing more of his merlot.
The 60 Minutes program wasn't all about Bud Yarrow, who was scheduled to be executed by firing squad in either Indonesia or Vietnam within the week, depending on which country
won the argument they were embroiled in over who got to shoot the mass murderer. The program also covered the recent Cairns Regional Council By-Election in which Bud Yarrow had been voted into Council by the residents of Division Two.
Cush watched with a sneer as the program detailed the day of the by-election and an interview with the Reverend Harmon. Thank fucken Christ, the bloody happy clappin' sky pilot wasn't going to come into the Council, Cush thought.
It had been a hell of a fortnight since the by-election. Cush had quickly had to distance himself from being the person who made the decision to nominate Bud Yarrow as Conservative Party Candidate, and with the help of Horsey, his Deputy Mayor, and the Editor of the local Murdoch newspaper, "The Cairns Post" had pinned the entire blame on the Secretary of the Cairns Conservative Party, Ms Brooklyn Taylor-Downs. Oh, Ms Taylor-Downs had screeched and squealed but soon shut up when it was hinted that she had nominated Bud Yarrow because she had been having an affair with him and did her boyfriend know? Cush heard she had left Cairns which suited him fine.
The Murdoch media which had openly supported Bud Yarrow, with glowing editorials urging voters to vote for him in the by-election, went immediately into damage control.
Councillor Skye Lovelady's efforts to have the Department of Environment take legal action against Colonel Cush for killing an entire colony of flying foxes in the central business district fell through, with the Department advising that it would not prosecute. The editor of "The Cairns Post" latched onto this with great relief, and published the story on the front page, under banner headlines of "DEPARTMENT SUPPORTS KILLING OF FLYING FOXES". The accompanying photograph blown up to half a page in size, was one the Editor repeatedly printed of the only female Councillor, Skye Lovelady where her long golden hair was curled up under her armpit.
Councillor Lovelady was an arrestingly attractive young woman, but the long hair, caught up under her arm looked like a bristling brush full of underarm hair. The Editor loved it as much as he loved referring to Lovelady as "the hairy one in the Council" or "Lady Hairmouth" and other such insults. Councillor Lovelady was the only Greens Party Councillor on the Council and loathed by Cush and the Conservative Party.
The local radio shock jock who had absented himself for over a week after his own declarations of enthusiastic support for Bud Yarrow and his claims of close friendship with the killer, returned to his talk-back program with a sneering attack on Councillor Lovelady.
"Did everyone see that disgusting, revolting sight on the front page of todays "Cairns Post?" he asked. "I almost vomited up my cornflakes after seeing that. I mean, does that woman know the meaning of personal grooming or does she like to present herself as a female yeti or something? Has anyone out there got a damned razor or maybe a pair of shears would be more appropriate, to send her?"
First of the callers was Siobhan of Whitfield, "Ooooh yuk," she twittered, "I thought it was just gross, I mean, I really thought I was going to pass out or something, I dunno if I will be able to go to work today after seeing that............."
Regular caller, Marva, was next. "I have some garden secateurs she could use," she laughed.
The shock jock thought this was hilarious and laughed along with Marva.
Lulled into a good mood, the shock jock momentarily forgot the characteristics of the next caller. "Wayne of Bayview Heights."
"You're one sick fuck, mate," said Wayne rapidly. "You approve of the mass slaughter of flying foxes and claim a mass child killer is your best friend and the best bloke.............."
"Oh, we seem to have lost Wayne of Bayview Heights," stumbled the shock jock, switching his program to music.
The media machine in Cairns was back to normality.
..............................
Cush had encountered enormous difficulties with trying to get his own replacement for Bud Yarrow now that Yarrow was officially disqualified from holding office. The Minister for Local Government had flatly refused his request to hold a further by-election for Division 2 and had told Cush that he intended frcing special legislation through State Parliament enabling the next-in-line candidate the right to take up office should the winning candidate be disqualified.
"We're having too fucken many by-elections, and it's costing the State too much fucken money!" the Minister for Local Government had growled at Cush, before hanging up his phone as Cush started to protest.
It had been a mongrel of a fortnight. A right mongrel! The result of all of this was that the new Councillor for Division 2 was that little yellow freak, Dougie Dunnysmore. However Cush and Horsey had plans for Mr Dunnysmore.
Plans which the little yellow freak had better heed, Cush thought grimly, pouring himself yet another glass of merlot. The sale of the 21.5 hectares of rainforest land on Whitfield Hill to a Chinese Corporation was ready to be voted on by Council, and Cush didn't want that loopy little poof to fuck it all up. He didn't want another Greenie in the Council like fucken Lovelady who was always rabbiting on about saving the hillslopes of Cairns and the fucken beauty of the rainforests. He and Horsey stood to make at least two mill. each from the sale, and no-one, NO-ONE was going to stop them.
The 60 Minutes program ended with the journalist saying something about the Reverend Harmon's campaign to be elected as Councillor was "in all probability, deliberately hijacked with the publication of misleading information about his private life. Suspicion points to Colonel Ken Cush and his Conservative Party............"
Cush switched the program off with a flick of his remote control. Bloody good thing Australians don't remember anything these days for too long, he thought. The whole bloody fiasco of the sky pilot, Bud Yarrow and all that shit would be forgotten by most residents within a couple of weeks.
He drained his glass of merlot and thought about what he was going to say to Dougie Dunnysmore, the new Councillor for Division 2 when he rocked up to the Council the following day.
To be continued.....................
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