CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF...PART 1

The city of Cairns was in uproar. Never before in its history had a Council decision caused so much anger and division. The community quickly and easily erupted into two warring, hostile armies. On one side those who supported the sale of Mt Whitfield to the Chinese Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and on the other side, those who wanted Mt Whitfield retained in its pristine state. Fights broke out in bars and hotels across the city, neighbours screamed across backyard fences at each other, tension and division entered many workplaces, the local newspaper "The Cairns Post" was inundated with online comments and letters representing both arguments, local blogs were swamped with comments and people all over the city fought and argued and abused one another.


Colonel Cush, the Mayor of the Cairns Regional Council couldn't have been more delighted with the way the issue had blown up into a full scale community stoush. Only two days after the Council vote, he and Horsey, his Deputy, were listening to the local Cairns Radio shock jock and his talk-back program.

The shock jock was no novice at demagoguery and was relishing his role as commander of the pro-development troops in urging the supporters of the sale to stage a counter demonstration outside the Council Offices in Spence Street.


"Don't accept the "No" vote," the shock jock roared across the air-waves of Cairns, "it can be rescinded if you all protest loud enough. Get out there and tell your Councillors they got it all wrong. Don't sit back and think you can do nothing. Mobilise yourselves, let the Council know just how many of you want the sale to go ahead."

As was his protocol, the shock jock had callers to his talk-back show screened so that only the pro-development callers were allowed to comment.


Reg of Redlynch was, as usual, the very first caller. "Oh mate, maaaate," simpered Reg, "I couldn't believe it when I heard the Council had voted against the Chinese development. I just could not believe it. You wonder what got into the heads of those Councillors who voted against it?"



"Exactly Reg," broke in the shock jock. "I was wondering just what was going through their heads as well. It seemed to me as if something ......or SOMEONE....SOMEONE..." Here the shock jock altered his voice to a softer pitch and strung out his words. "...SOMEONE, may have unwittingly influenced them. Someone who has these powers to addle people's rational thinking and make them do things they normally wouldn't."



"Mate," agreed Reg. "I'm with you on that. I'm right with you mate. I've been wondering too like, about that Councillor Lovelady. She's the one with the influence alright. You know I wonder just how she does it?"


"Oh so do I, so do I," interrupted the shock jock, his voice thick with meaning.


Reg had no qualms about discretion. "Is she sharing her so called favours with the Councillors? I mean, let's face it, there she is, the only female, and a young one at that, with all these men, day after day in the Council Chambers. I mean, I wouldn't find someone like that attractive, but as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that."


Sitting in the Mayor's Office, both Cush and Horsey smirked and chuckled at Reg's accusations.


"Sharing her favours," Horsey repeated. "I like that!"

"Reg, we have to go, I've got Ron of Trinity Beach on the line now," said the shock jock.


Ron of Trinity Beach was a tradie. "Mate, maaaate," he said, "I'm a tradie, a concrete finisher, and I've been unemployed on and off now for about a year. This development would have given me work for several months if those bloody Councillors had voted for it!"




"It's just unbelievable," the shock jock replied. "This city has only seen one development in the past two years, and that has been the WangZang Skyscraper Building! I mean, I just don't know how you fellas are all surviving out there."


"We're not mate," said Ron. "So when this proposal put forward by the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation comes up, and Colonel Cush supports it, what does his bloody Councillors do, but they go behind his back and oppose it. I mean, they've all got their jobs haven't they?"


"Of course they have their jobs, and well paid ones at that," agreed the shock jock. "They don't have to worry about where the money is coming from to pay the mortgage, send the kids to school and put food on the table."


"I was just disgusted with what that new Councillor, what's 'is name, Dunnysmore said," continued Ron. "He said something about not understanding the culture of Chinese corporations or smething like that. The man is a fool if he doesn't understand the Chinese are just like us now. The wife and I have been to China on a tour and mate, I tell you, they are exactly like us now. There isn't one iota of difference between the two countries. Not one iota!"

The shock jock broke in again. "I had a lot of doubts when that Councillor took his seat. I mean, he shouldn't be there in the first place. There should have been another by-election called for Division Two, but instead, the Government, in its wisdom decided not to have another by-election...."

"He's a weirdo mate, that's all you can say about him," continued Ron. "A weirdo who shouldn't be a Councillor. And what about Councillor Buttonworth, I mean, he's one of Cush's own Councillors and he went and voted against it."




"I don't know what has gotten into Councillor Buttonworth," said the shock jock. "He's always done the right thing by Cush before. As I was saying earlier, he has obviously been influenced by someone, someone who is able to addle his thinking processes in ways we can't quite understand."


"Mate," continued Ron, who wasn't going to be side tracked. "I support your call for a demonstration by all of us tradies, labourers, sheet metal workers, glaziers, riggers, dogmen, concreters and so on, all of us who are going to miss out on jobs, to get down there in front of the Council offices and let Cush know we are right behind him, and we WANT JOBS!"


"Good on you mate!" said the shock jock, " and now I have Zane from Edmonton on the line."

"Gidday Zane," said the shock, "and what do you have to say about the issue hey?"

"Yeah mate," said Zane, and the shock jock had a vague recollection that his voice was familiar,
"Maybe Dunnysmore had a point hey? Just what do we know about the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation hey? You reckon it's only about executive training hey? You fuckwit!"



"Ooog, gah, " stumbled the shock jock, once again recognising who the caller was. "Oh oh, we seem to have lost Wayne, err Zane. Let's have some music."


Cush and Horsey laughed.


..............................................



The Editor of the local Murdoch newspaper, The Cairns Post, was listening to the shock jock's program while writing his editorial on the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation proposal. He too supported the idea of a counter demonstration outside the Regional Council Offices. He continued to write:-


RESCIND THE VOTE, COUNCILLORS!


The Council vote on the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation's proposal for Mt Whitfield was wrong.

Those Councillors who voted against the development, ie Lovelady, Mingin, Piper, Bomboniere, Buttonworth and Dunnysmore have voted against the best interests of Cairns and the best interests of their respective divisions.



Ths city has not seen a major development since the WangZang Skyscraper, built on the site originally proposed for the abandoned Cairns Entertainment Precinct and hundreds of tradies, labourers and so on are unemployed. Colonel Cush in his election campaign, promised to get the city moving again and construction and development buzzing in the city. This he has done, with the erection of the biggest city skyscraper in the Far North. The WangZang development employed literally hundreds of people in its construction.



His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Cush, has the welfare of the people of Cairns and the Far North at heart and is trying to maintain development. The Shanghai Hangyang proposal for a 3,000 room Executive Training and Retreat development is the biggest development ever to be built in this city and the economic benefits accruing from such a development are enormous.



I urge the people of Cairns who are in favour of this development to do all they can to get the Council to rescind on its vote. Call those Councillors - Lovelady, Mingin, Piper, Bomboniere, Buttonworth and Dunnysmore, and tell them you don't like what they have done. Tell them to go back and change their votes. If it takes another demonstration outside the Council Chambers, then do that as well. Don't take this negative decision lying down.



Finally, we have to ask ourselves if certain Councillors are fit and proper people to be on a Council. There isn't any doubt that Councillor Lovelady, she with the unfashionable yeti look, has enormous power and influence over the other Councillors. Has she influenced the Councillors against their conscious will somehow in voting against this proposal? I know what I believe. The vote needs to go back to Council and to be rescinded. However I believe this can only be achieved without the presence of Councillor Lovelady in the Chamber.





The Editor checked what he had written and nodded. He liked it!



To be continued..................

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 6

"SAVE OUR GANJA - SAVE OUR GANJA - SAVE OUR GANJA!" Councillor Dougie Dunnysmore roused himself with a shudder of horror as he realised what he had been writing unconsciously on the note paper in front of him.

Covertly he glanced sideways at the two Councillors sitting beside him. Mervyn Mingin, the big murri Councillor for Division 5 sat at his right while Jim Howard, Councillor for Division 8 and one of Cush's Cairns Conservative Party team members, sat on his left. With an audible sigh of relief, he quickly turned the page over. Both Councillors were too engrossed in listening to His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush, who was Chairing the Planning and Environment Committee meeting to notice what he had been feverishly scribbling down.

The noise inside the Council Chambers was almost deafening. Dunnysmore could hear the reverberations of thousands of Cairns people chanting outside, "SAVE OUR MOUNTAIN, SAVE OUR MOUNTAIN!" It was the biggest demonstration of Cairns locals in decades and one of the security guards had already informed the Councillors that Police estimated the crowd at 10,000 and still growing.

It was the meeting where the Cairns Regional Council would vote on the sale of a huge tract of land on Mt Whitfield to a Chinese development company.

The public gallery was full and security guards had been busy all morning in escorting some of the more rowdier people out.

Dunnysmore could feel his heart racing and his face sweating. He could feel a panic attack coming on. Never did he ever imagine the role of a Councillor could be so bloody awful! Taking out a grubby handkerchief he wiped his face yet again and polished his glasses. He had given Colonel Cush his word yesterday that he would support the sale of the land to the Chinese. That was yesterday! Yeah, for fucks sake, that was fucken yesterday. Yesterday it had all seemed so clear cut. A big development, money and jobs for the locals. Yeah. Then, who should arrive last night at his unit in Mt Sheridan but his fucken brother Teddy and his mate Pedro.
"You can't sell bloody Mt Whitfield to the Chinese!" roared Pedro, all aggro like and looking like he was going to punch someone's lights out.
"Why not?" returned Dougie, "It would be good for the unemployed."
Pedro looked mutinous. "Where the fuck do you think I grow my ganja hey?"

Speechless, Dougie stared at Pedro who threw up his hands and slumped into a chair.

"Aaay, I thought you were growing it up at Cape Trib. somewhere in the rainforest," Dougie said eventually. "You know amongst all the ferns and prehistoric stuff so that no-one could see it?"

Pedro shot him a look of contempt. "Lowrider won't grow in those conditions," he spat. "I tried it and all the plants died didn't they, hey? Besides you think I'm gonna hump bags and bags of epsom salts and manure for bloody miles and miles without anyone getting a bit suspicious. Christ all mighty, Cape Trib today is crawling with undercover cops for a start without the thousands of tourist and fucken grey nomads in their Winnebagos."

"Well I didn't know," Dougie replied looking anxiously at Pedro. "So where exactly are you growing it?"

"I told you, ya deaf cunt, on fucken Mt Whitfield, off the Blue Arrow," Pedro answered, "Got quite a few plants, been growing 'em there for some time now. Afghani dwarf ganja, a new type which grows in poor soil. Got the seeds off some solider boys who brought them back with them from Afghanistan, didn't I? You like the shit don't ya?"

Dougie had felt as if his guts were falling away. Shakily he sat down and stared at Teddy and Pedro. "Jeeeeezus blardy Christ!" he stammered.

"The soldier boys reckoned it wasn't like the other lowrider shit," explained Pedro, "you don't hack so much as you do with the other Afghani stuff. Beauty of it is it likes very poor soil which Mt Whitfield has. All I got to do is to take up some chicken manure from time to time and it fucken grows like Jack's bloody beanstalk. I got plants all over the place. No bastard would know what they were either, because they don't look like the usual indica."

Pedro had leaned back in his chair, fixing Dougie with a hard stare. "So whatcha gonna do now COUNCILLOR? Give away all our ganja to thousands of fucken Chinese executives?"

Dougie Dunnysmore had hardly slept a wink that night, tossing and turning and in the morning had a bad case of the squirts.

.........................................

Dunnysmore came back to the present, still seeing Pedro's contemptuous, angry face in front of him.

The moment had arrived. Councillors Bob Horseman and Jim Howard then proposed that the sale of land on Mt Whitfield be sold to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and tabled plans for the development of a huge hotel complex.

The crowd in the public gallery all started shouting at various Councillors. Finally, they qietened, as variious Councillors started speaking to or against the proposal. The speeches all fled by Dunnysmore who was only conscious of his heart beating erratically, and the sweat oozing from his face, underarms and hands. Councillor Skye Lovelady spoke passionately against the sale citing the environmental appeal of the mountain, its role in bushwalking and its tourist appeal. Councillor Mingin spoke about its significance to the indigenous inhabitants of Cairns and also its environmental appeal. Councillors Piper and Bomboniere echoed Lovelady and Mingin and indicated they were also against the sale.

Cush's Councillors, Horseman, Browne and Howard all spoke of the economic benefits such a huge development would provide to the people of Cairns. Councillor Browne from Division 4, turned and spoke to the audience in the public gallery.

"You people voted at the last Council election for development. That is what you wanted, development and jobs. You voted the last Council out, decisively because you said they "did nothing" for Cairns. You voted our Cush Conservative Party in because you wanted to return to a city constantly building, a city with cranes and jack hammering going all day, every day. A city which provided continuous work for thousands of labourers, truckies and tradies. That is what you wanted........."

Some in the audience tried interjecting Councillor Browne, who only raised his voice and deepened his accusing tone.

"So it is what we have done. We have honoured our commitment to the people of Cairns and kickstarted development. This development will continue with our pledge, and will provide thousands of jobs either directly or indirectly. You people are anti-development greenies, and you disgust me........"

The crowd in the public gallery all jeered and hissed at this and the security guards again escorted several people out.

The last of Cush's Conservative Party Councillors, Councillor Brad Buttonworth, representing Division 10, leaned forward to his microphone to speak. The shouting in the public gallery died down.

"I will be voting against this sale and this application for development," Buttonworth said in a quiet voice.

The entire Chamber suddenly went deathly quiet. Sitting at the top end of the huge round Council table, Colonel Cush jerked his head up and stared at Buttonworth with his mouth open.

"I have some grave concerns over selling a popular recreation area, enjoyed by both locals and the indigenous population of Cairns," said Councillor Buttonworth. "The previous Council bought this land for the people of Cairns and district to keep and to enjoy. I believe we should maintain that purpose. That is all I have to say on the matter, but I will vote against this, even though my own political party, and my Council team, the Cush Conservative Party are all for it. I go against my own party on this."

Dougie Dunnsmore felt the blood rush to his ears and his throat constrict. Christ, if he could only have a cone, just a small one! It was his turn to speak. He felt his bowels loosen. Oh shit, shit, shit. Cush was looking at him with unconcealed menace.

"Councillor Dunnysmore!" thundered Cush, "Do you have anything to say?"

Dunnysmore leaned forward to his microphone and opened his mouth. All he could manage was a series of high pitched squeaks so that he sounded just like Barry Gibb singing some high notes.
Shakily, he reached for some water, and gulped a few mouthfuls down. Taking a deep breath, and squeezing his hands tight be began his speech, which he had rehearsed in the early hours of the morning.

"This is a compelling case, development versus the environment and jobs versus recreation and I have given it much lengthy consideration. Cairns is surrounded by mountains and they certainly add to the charm and beauty of this city. I am sure that everyone here present knows or understands that at some time, we will have to commence development in the hills. They will not remain in their pristine state forever. Indeed we already have development occurring at the lower levels.....". Dunnysmore reached across to his water glass and took another sip. He was surprised at how steady his voice, though high pitched and feminine, sounded.

"However, I have some concerns about this development and that is the very nature of the application itself. A complex for the training and recreation of Chinese executives, presumeably representing Chinese corporations. We have many English teaching facilities here in Cairns and many recreational facilities which would suit such a development. I cannot pretend to know much about Chinese corporate culture, but I should imagine it would be very competitive like our own corporate culture. I also believe there would be cultural differences, many aspects of which we know very little. It is those aspects which worry me somewhat. As a Councillor therefore, I feel unprepared, totally uninformed to vote on something of this nature. I believe before our Council should vote on this that we need more awareness, more information on Chinese Corporate Culture and what it entails. Therefore I shall be voting against this proposal to sell the Council land."

Cheers rang around the public gallery! Dunnysmore sat back shakily and wiped the perspiration pouring from his forehead.

"You little bewdy Dunnysmore!" came a roar from the public gallery.

"Three cheers for Dunnysmore," came another shout, and with one accord, the public gallery all cheered Dunnysmore.

The motion to sell the Council owned parcel of land on Mt Whitfield to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation was defeated 6 votes to 4.

Outside the Chamber, someone had passed the news to the crowds waiting outside. The impact of thousands of cheering people could be heard clearly inside.



To be continued..................

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 5

"Fuck me dead!" growled Cush. He and Horsey were looking out from the windows at the Cairns Regional Council Office at the huge crowd gathering around the Council building.

It was the day the Council was to vote on the sale of 21 hectares of land at Mt Whitfield to a Chinese corporation for developing into an "Executive Training and Retreat" complex, featuring a hotel with 3,000 rooms, several restaurants, swimming pools, tennis court, mini golf course, squash courts and small shopping centre. It was to be one of the biggest single complexes ever built in Cairns and Cush and Horsey were to receive a substantial "fee" each for the transaction.

Cush had never anticipated the people of Cairns would react to the sale of pristine land on Mt Whitfield. As he watched the crowd growing larger by the minute, Cush thought sourly how everyone claimed to be against the greenies, but in reality supported the greenies when their own properties were threatened. Oh, yes, it was a different story then!

In fact, there were many Cairns people who really couldn't care less. The mountains around Cairns had been largely undeveloped while urban growth had been centred on the narrow coastal plain. Perhaps they thought, it was time for the mountains to be developed?

However others looked at the range of blue green mountains enveloping the city, and in their minds eye could see a huge red and yellow flag looking back at them. They enjoyed their Red Arrow and Blue Arrow walks, and the thought of those tracks being filled with thousands of Chinese executives made them angry. Oh, they were not against the Chinese mind you, but the mountains of Cairns and the Red Arrow and Blue Arrow walking tracks were part of what made living in Cairns so good.

The people of Cairns had come out, in force, in their thousands to protest. Galvanised into action by an unprecedented social media campaign. Mrs Angela Warrington-Mather, whom Cush had belitted on the radio shock jock's program two days before, had been very busy. She had made a list of all the people she knew in Cairns, obtained their phone numbers, and had spent almost an entire day and two evenings phoning all three hundred of them. Also she had SMS texted her daughter, Samantha, a student at the local James Cook University. Samantha had the same communication skills as her mother, and within an hour the entire population at the James Cook University knew Cush was going to sell Mt Whitfield to the Chinese.

The university students in turn SMS texted their friends, and within hours, people all over Cairns and the surrounds, from shopping centres, to restaurants, to loading docks, to sugar cane farms, to the Base Hospital, to schools and to day care centres, and wherever people worked or gathered, received the news. Tens of thousands of people. Cush is going to sell Mt Whitfield to the Chinese. We have to stop him!

Traffic banked up along Ray Jones Drive, and many people simply parked their cars beside the road and walked to the Cairns Regional Council offices. Traffic jams occurred along Sheridan Street and Spence Street. The police were called in to direct traffic along both Mulgrave Road and Spence Street.

It was the biggest public protest in Cairns since October 1989 when over 7,000 people attended a rally on the Cairns Esplanade to object to a huge development at Trnity Point. On that occasion, the Mayor of Cairns, Keith Goodwin, had supported the protestors and the project was scuttled.

A heavily pregnant Heather was there, holding Monsoon's hand. Ky and David from her Same Sex Parental Support Group were also there, as were the Reverend Matthew Harmon, his mother and father, Mrs Angela Warrington-Mather and all the members of her womens community service club and Siobhan, the fashion editor at "The Cairns Post", was there with her partner, Zane.

"I hope the Editor doesn't see me here," fretted Siobhan nervously. "He thinks only hippies and ratbags and mentally deranged people protest against develoments."

"He wouldn't recognise you with those huge sunnies on and that floppy hat," reassured Zane, who was proud that Siobhan had decided to make a stand and try to save the mountain.

Siobhan smiled nervously and handed Zane the Editorial from the mornings newspaper. She had torn it out and put it in her shoulder bag purposefully for him to read.

JUST WHAT CAIRNS NEEDS!

His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush has again demonstrated what a strong leader he is, and the strong direction in which he is taking Cairns. He has worked damned hard to sell a piece of Mt Whitfield to a Chinese corporation for the purpose of building an "Executive Training and Retreat" complex. This will be one of the largest single developments ever built in the region, featuring a 3,000 roomed hotel, tennis courts, squash courts, swimming pools, a mini golf course, restaurants and a small shopping centre. The jobs such a complex will provide to the people of Cairns, will be obvious. The people of Cairns will prosper greatly from such a visionary development. The sale has been a delicate one, requiring skill and confidentiality at all stages. His Worship the Mayor has expressed disappointment that one of his own Councillors, Councillor Dom Piper, representing Division 7, single handedly almost scuttled the delicate negotiations by posting details of the deal on his Facebook blog. The Mayor has expressed his disappointment in Councillor Piper. "Councillor Piper has made a very serious transgression here, and I cannot condemn him strongly enough for his calls for the people of Cairns to be consulted on such a delicate matter. The Councillor obviously doesn't understand that he was elected, along with myself and others to run the city and make all the decisions. If he is too weak kneed to make decisions, then maybe he shouldn't be in the Council."

His Worship the Mayor has made a very valid point. When a Councillor protests that the people have not been consulted and maybe the people should have a say, then that Councillor is demonstrating his own weakness and inability to provide leadership. I also believe that Councillor Piper may have taken on far too much for his abilities. He really should have remained a plumber rather than taking on the duties and responsibilities of a Councillor.

Finally, no doubt Councillor Lovelady, she with the unfashionable yeti look, will once again gather up all her friends and supporters, the hippys, the greens, the socialists, the unemployed, and all the deadbeats and maggots of Cairns and district to come out and protest this wonderful development. Cairns people should see them for what they are, destructive, selfish people who would send Cairns back to the time of the Walubarra Yidinji when development meant a few gunyahs along the banks of the Barron River.

Zane's eyes widened with shock and his voice was thick with disgust. "This is just revolting!"

he turned to Siobhan, who nodded in agreement. "I wish you didn't work there with that bastard!"

The Reverend Matthew Harmon worried about the safety of his elderly and frail parents who were finding the crush of people a bit much. "I wish you hadn't insisted on coming down here," he lectured his parents.

"Matt, wild horses wouldn't keep us away from this," his Mother replied. "Your father and I have some very good memories of the Red Arrow walking track!" She smiled across at her husband. "In fact Matt, I do believe you were conceived under a tree on that walking track!"

"Muuuuuuuuum!" wailed the Reverend with embarassment as his parents both laughed.

"Hehehe," laughed his father. "Probably a good number of Cairns people started off their life on that track, if the truth be told. We all knew of a few good spots there to take our dolls for a bit of a roll in the hay."

"Daaaaaaaaad!" wailed the Reverend, feeling his face grow hot, and realising for the first time that there was a lot about his parents he didn't know.

"Save our mountain!" shrieked a shrill high pitched voice, as Monsoon waved her placard.

Heather rubbed her daughter's shoulder protectively and waved to Ky and David who pushed their way through the crowd to join them.

Standing at the top floor window, Cush and Horsey watched as yet another surge of people crowded into the surrounding gardens of the Council building, and Councillors Lovelady and Mingin climbed up onto the back tray of a council ute. The crowd roared and waved their placards. "Save our mountain!" "Save Mt Whitfield!"

Councillor Lovelady attempted to speak but was drowned out in the cheers from the crowd.

Skye Lovelady, the Councillor for Division 9, was a former James Cook University student and very popular on the James Cook campus. Almost the entire population of the university had come out to protest the sale of Mt Whitfield and the university had closed for the day.

Councillor Mingin then attempted to speak but was also drowned out by the cheers from the strong aboriginal and torres strait islander contingent in the crowd. The aimiable giant Mingin was a highly regarded man, particularly in the aboriginal population.

"Fuck, look at those two deadbeats," grunted Cush to Horsey.

In the background, Cush could hear the local radio shock jock who was hosting his radio talk-back show.

"I hear there are a few hippys, greenies and the usual rent-a-crowd down at the Council offices," said the shock jock. "No doubt these useless morons have all been stirred up by that female yeti, Councillor Skye Lovelady. You know, in previous centuries, that creature, that woman, would have been burned at the stake. People would not have tolerated her to live in their community.

I mean, all she ever does, is to criticise, oppose and undermine His Worship the Mayor, at every single opportunity."

The first caller was "Reg of Redlynch".

"Mate, mate," said Reg. "You know the Bible tells us that we should not suffer a witch to live. Fair dinkum mate."

"The Bible is a pretty good source of wisdom. Maybe they had it right," answered the shock jock. "I mean what sort of woman grows her underarm hair so that it almost reaches her waist? Tell me that?"

"Mate, she isn't normal that's for sure," answered Reg.

What gets to me," said the shock jock, "is the way in which she obviously bewitches people, casts a spell over them, so that they all rush out whenever she snaps her fingers and start their yelling and screaming, and holding up the traffic. I mean, what do the tourists think when they come here and see all these screaming ratbags?"

The next caller was "Shane of Forest Gardens."

"Hello Shane," said the shock jock. "You want to comment on the demonstration outside the Council offices? I believe you are there right now?"

"Yeah mate," said Shane of Forest Gardens. "If you got off your fat, elephantine arse and walked down here, you would see about ten thousand people, not just a few greenies and hippys like you are making out. You're the fucken ratbag mate...."

There was a sudden silence as the shock jock realised immediately that "Shane of Forest Gardens" was once again, none other than "Wayne of Bayview Heights."

"Oh, we seem to have lost Shane," he stumbled before turning the program to music.

Cush and Horsey turned reluctantly away from the window and talked to the Council

Chamber. They could hear the noise of the people in the public gallery well before they reached it. The noise sounded like several swarms of angry bees.

The public gallery was full, with several security guards standing nearby. The crowd booed and hissed at Cush and Horsey as they walked to their respective seats. Cush spotted the two representatives of the Chinese Corporation sitting nervously in the gallery and waved to them.

They did not wave back but stared stonily at him.

Cush noted all his Conservative Party Councillors were there. He looked around.

Skip Jarratt from Division 1, Phil Browne from Division 4, Jim Howard, Division 8, Brad Buttonworth from Division 10, and of course Horsey representing Division 6. With the vote from Dougie Dunnysmore the new Councillor for Division 2, he had the vote in the bag. It was a cinch.

To be continued..................