Friday, 21 October 2011


Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, leaned back in his chair and let out a long melancholy sigh as he glanced down at the pile of documents on his desk. He had been reading them very intently for the past couple of hours and they disturbed him. Greatly.

They were all Confidential Reports from various intelligence agencies, both from Australia and the United States concerning one particular Chinese corporation. The Shanghai Hangyang Corporation to be precise. The corporation had received funding from the Chinese Government to the amounts of $US 76.8 million in 2010 and $US 92.4 million in 2012 for "overseas development and research." Suspicions of very close links between the corporation and the Chinese Government were further evident in that the current Chairman of the Shanghai Hangyang Corp. had previously worked for the Chinese military in a high advisory capacity between 1996 and 2008. Investigations by both Australia's and the United States' intelligence agencies pointed to very strong ties between Shanghai Hangyang and the Chinese military and intelligence services. The upshot of all the investigations pointed to a very strong recommendation to the Australian Government that any involvement with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation posed "a serious concern for Australian security."

Prime Minister Turnbull shook his head. Of critical concern to the intelligence agencies was the actions of the Cairns Regional Council who were attempting to sell a large parcel of land to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation. However, the reports just didn't end there. The ASIC agency had been investigating corporate bribery and money laundering activities involving a Hong Kong businessman who had been revealed as the son-in-law of one of the Councillors and Deputy Mayor on the Cairns Regional Council, Councillor Horseman. ASIC advised that at the stage of their report they just did not have adequate evidence to bring the matter to Court.

Turnbull mulled over the reports and thought back a few weeks when it was the same regional Council in Queensland which had almost caused a major international incident when it was revealed they had elected as a Councillor, the worst child killer in Australia's history. He recalled the anger of the Indonesian President and the quieter but equally livid stance of the Vietnamese President. On that occasion Turnbull had acted decisively and without hesitation and sent a team of Federal Police to Cairns to arrest and escort Mr Bud Yarrow to Indonesia for trial.

Abruptly, he picked up his telephone. The issue with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation also required quick action as the intelligence reports indicated the local Cairns media were inciting the people of Cairns to force the Council to rescind a previous motion voting against the sale of the property on Mt Whitfield to the Chinese corporation.

Within minutes he had arranged for a certain high ranking public servant to contact the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush and request he cease with Council's moves to sell Australian land to Shanghai Hangyang. Briefly, as he finished his call, and looked at another pile of papers waiting to be read on his desk, he wondered just how long this Colonel Cush would remain as Mayor of the Cairns Regional Council. Not too bloody long, he fervently hoped. He had had enough of Colonel Ken Cush.


Sitting on the Cairns Esplanade at his favorite diner, Colonel Cush was again in his element, reading the complimentary editorial in "The Cairns Post" concerning the Council's plans to sell a large tract of land on Mt Whitfield to the Chinese Shanghai Hangyang Corporation.

"RESCIND THE VOTE, COUNCILLORS!" Cush loved it, and laughed out loud.

He had read all the on-line comments in "The Cairns Post" that morning and been immensely cheered by the support his Council was receiving. Oh, the people of Cairns were making it plain, he thought, they just wanted jobs. He was very optimistic the Councillors like Lovelady, Piper, Bomboniere, Dunnysmore and that turncoat Buttonsworth would come back to Council dragging their tails between their legs, with hang dog looks at their mongrel faces. The people of Cairns would chase them right back to rescind the vote.


Councillor Skye Lovelady had been riding her bicycle home to her unit at Smithfield when she felt a hard shove in her back and all she could then recall was flying in a fuzzy sort of slow motion through the air and landing with a painful crash at the side of the road. Seconds later her bike came tumbling after her.

For a sew seconds she could not see properly but then reality hit with pain and a strange looking person, bald headed and covered in tattoos, standing over her. "Are you alright?" asked the strange looking person, whom Lovelady could not make out if it was male or female.

Skye stood up shakily. No bones broken! However she was badly gravel rashed, and her legs were bleeding. "I'm OK," she stumbled.

The strange person had picked up her bicycle and was looking at it. "I think your bike is alright, no damage done there either. Are you able to continue riding it?"

Skye looked at the bicycle and felt her legs tremble. She thought she would be fine in a few minutes. "Yes," she replied. "Thank you for your help. I'm Skye Lovelady and I appreciate your kindness to me."

The strange bald headed person nodded. "I know who you are. I've been a big fan of yours since you were elected. I'm Berri Honniston and that is my partner, Heather, and our children Monsoon and Yasi in the car up on the road."

Skye looked up at the road and saw a woman there holding a baby and a little girl intently looking out the passenger window. Gingerly, she walked over, and introduced herself to Heather, admired their little baby boy, Yasi, thanked Berri again, and continued her ride home.


Councillor Dom Piper was furious. He had been receiving filthy threatening anonymous phone calls all morning and during the previous evening. He had phoned the Police and lodged complaints.


Councillor Brad Buttonworth found himself driven off the road and into a ditch where his car stalled, as he drove home to Port Douglas. The driver who had forced him off the road actually had turned around and came back to yell obscenities at him. "Ya fucken cunt," the driver had roared, "you couldn't give a shit about those of us without jobs hey?"


Councilloy Doug Dunnysmore arrived home to his modest unit at Mt Sheridan to find a contingent of angry constituents waiting for him. It was only because of the presence of his brother Teddy, that Dunnysmore avoided being physically attacked. He was so shaken by the confrontation that he smoked several cones one after another.


Councillor Enzo Bonbomiere found himself on the end of an abusive tirade by his brother-in-law, an unemployed electrician. "Yeah, you've got money coming in," yelled his brother-in-law,
"you're alright Jack, alright Jack, so you don't give a stuff about anyone else!"

Guido only quietened down when his sister Maria intervened.


It was early evening when Councillor Skye Lovelady painfully rode her bicycle up the driveway of her unit and leaned the bicyclee against the wall outside the kitchenette. She looked around for her pet cat, Monty, who almost always came running when Skye appeared. However Monty was not around outside. Skye shrugged, not concerned. Monty also loved to wander the neighbourhood.

She opened the back door leading into the kitchen and froze. There, lying in a pool of blood on her small dining room table was Monty, his throat cut so severely his head almost decapitated.
A roughly drawn poster resting beside the cats body had the words, "THE BIBLE SAYS YE SHALL NOT SUFFER A WITCH TO LIVE AND YOUR TURN IS NEXT!"

To be continued................


  1. Jesus H. Christ, you took your time to write this didn't you?

  2. bogan at Bentley22 October 2011 at 00:26

    Ay Vance have you been watching all those James Bond movies on TV lately? This is a bit far fetched hey.

  3. Shit Terry, spies, witches, dead cats and someone trying to kill the lovely Lovelady. Try and lighten up a bit hey. Fucken hell mate, I come in here for a laugh not to shudder.

  4. Natalie at home with a cuppa22 October 2011 at 01:54

    Hooray, you have brought the lesbian Mums back and I see where Heather has had the bub. LOL. They named him "Yasi". ROFL. I could have guessed Skye Lovelady would be targetted by the bullies in Cairns. Look forward to reading more Terry.

  5. Whew! Heavy, heavy Terry. But then political satire can involve a plethora of situations and you have taken us on a dizzying roller-coaster from pure farce to deadly James Bond. This is going to pose an awkward situation for Cush isn't it? The Prime Minister wants the sale stopped because of national security issues, yet the local media machine are inciting the community to urge the Council to rescind the original vote not to sell. Already those Councillors who voted to retain Mt Whitfield in its pristine state are being harassed and menaced by the fired up community. Interesting dilemma. How is Cush going to slip out of this one?

  6. Christ or mighty Vance, Prime Ministers, dodgy Chinese corporations, dead cats and bloody ASIO and CIA shit all over the place. Who do you thinkyou are,Ian Fleming?

  7. Poor Skye Lovelady and Monty! This is getting very grim Terry but I have to keep on reading it.

  8. So now the local media are threatening Australia's security with their love affair with Colonel Cush? And they are stroking up the citizens of Cairns to do so? Good one Terry. Yep I don't think that is beyond the media machine these days. Can't see Cush telling anyone the truth however. Don't suppose he could but he will concoct a string of lies implicating those Councillors he hates I guess.

  9. Caroline at home with a morning cuppa22 October 2011 at 14:33

    Ooooer Terry, this is scarey. An assault on Skye Lovelady, her cat murdered, Colonel Cush trying to bring in a nest of spies or whatever into Cairns and the media backing him up.

  10. Diana at home catching up on emails, blogs etc22 October 2011 at 17:11

    It's getting pretty grim Terry. You'll scare the horses I think if you continue in this vein for too long.

  11. bogan at Bentley22 October 2011 at 17:18

    How is Cush going to slip out of it? Jesus H fucken Christ, hes gonna blame it all on Lovelady and the greenies hey. Everyone today blames the greenies for everything except for Liz who lives in la la land and probably hanging upside down in a dark cubboard as well.

  12. Hey, steady on bogan. Liz is an intelligent, socially aware woman who makes some of the most insightful commentary on this blog. I assure you she most certainly does not live in "la la" land (wherever that is) and she does not "hang upside down in a dark cupboard" either. Keep your personal insults out of this blog. It has been one of the things I enjoy about the blog, that the posters don't attack one another.

  13. Agreed Neil. Liz is one of the dedicated readers of this blog and certainly provides some of the more interesting comments. bogan, try and keep your comments to the matters raised in the blog and not dissing the other readers.

  14. You're taking us all on a rollercoaster ride Vance. From Ben Elton type comedy, up hill and down dale, hither and thither, this way, that way, which way and what, all the way to Ian Fleming. You got coneheads, lesbian mothers, a baby called "Yasi", a narcissistic gold digger called "Brandi", a sociopathic mayor, a multiple child killer, a Minister of Religion, an insane radio shock jock, dead flying foxes, a dead cat and now a nest of Chinese spies. And in amongst it all you put poor old Malcolm Turnbull as the PM. What a heap of rubbish it all is and I dunno to this day why I'm still addicted to it.

  15. Liz in her office23 October 2011 at 16:37

    Thank you Neil and Terry for coming to my defence. It's OK though. "bogan" is a colourful character with his own style of linguistics and I look forward to reading his posts. Bob R. I agree. This blog is so full of twists and turns, and every now and then Terry introduces some interesting characters like Berri and Heather, the lesbian Mums, or Pedro who grows his ganga on Mt Whitfield or my absolute favorite, "Wayne of Bayview Heights" the scourge of the local radio shock jock. Yes, we have been taken from killing flying foxes to fear of witches and the threat of spies. It has been some literary roller-coaster that's for sure! I doubt the blog could ever attract any literary awards, but it is addictive and like others I have to check each morning to see if there is another new episode. I'm personally a great fan of Malcolm Turnbull, so I am delighted to see him as the Prime Minister.

  16. Neil in his office23 October 2011 at 16:57

    Aaah Liz, dear Liz, your words bring a glimmer of joy to this jaded cynic. What can I say?
    "Where thoughts serenly sweet express
    How pure, how dear their dwelling place."

  17. Tee hee Neil you flirt. I agree this blog is addictive because it is quirky and bizarre at times and sort of goes all over the place. I like Berri and Heather and Wayne of Bayview Heights too. It allways just cracks me up when the shock jock says oh oh we seem to have lost Wayne.

  18. Glad to see you support Occupy Wall Street mate. I just found your blog in the Hillbilly Watch one, so Im now trying my darndest to catch up with it.

  19. Now lets have some gorgeous looking Chinese chicks like that Lucy Liu flying all over Cairns and waving kalashnikovs around.

  20. Getting a bit confused here Vance arent you dont know if your Ben Elton or Ian Fleming or Jeffry Archer. a bit far fetched to me.

  21. Its getting a bit scary Terry and about the cat being killed because someone reckoned it was a witches cat some people still believe in all this rubbish like the T.I. peoples do.

  22. Monsoon and Yasi...lets' hope they turkey baste another one and call it read yet again, and enjoying the comments as well!

  23. So Dunnysmore the fucken conehead almost got it right when he opposed the original motion in the Council on the grounds that he did not know "enough about Chinese corporate culture".

  24. Just read Yvonnes comment, some of the TI people still believe in the madthalaig.

  25. sleepless in cairns29 October 2011 at 10:59

    Shit this blog is a load of garbage. Like the others have said, I don't know why here I am in the early hours of the morning reading past postings and catching up on it. It's a bit like those mind numbing TV soapies. You know its garbage but you keep on wondering at the back of your mind what is happening to some of the characters. Oh oh we seem to have lost Wayne, I heard someone say that at work the other day.

  26. Thanks for the feedback sleepless. At least you are still in the loop and continuing to read the blog!

  27. Hi there, I know you read comments, and that every response to you is important. So is every writer important to us, who writes in We are gathering all those who want to write and share their news and get rewarded for it. Yes, everyone who writes in TheBlogger earns for loving to write. Join us!

  28. Come on Vance you dork. Have you gone and died on us or something? I miss having my morning cup of caffeine and a read of "Cush".