Monday 12 December 2011

CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF, PART 5

"Political correctness is for fools!" The Cairns radio shock-jock couldn't resist bringing up one of his favorite subjects before His Worship, the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel (Retired) Ken Cush, arrived in his studio as guest speaker on his talk-back radio program.

For years the shock-jock had ranted and railed against the curtailment of free speech, arguing that freedom of speech was one of the greatest freedoms bestowed upon the common person. He had his supporters too and the shock jock was delighted to find one on the line waiting to talk to him.

"Hello, we have Tremayne of Forest Gardens on the line," jovially announced the shock-jock.

"Oh, I agree mate with what you said about political correctness," rushed in "Tremayne".
"I mean, all those bloody academics and milksops reckon it's some sort of brake society needs in order to maintain decency and civility....."

"Which is utter crap," broke in the shock jock. "I mean, what would they know?"

"Oh exactly, exactly," agreed "Tremayne" in a deferential tone, buttering up the shock jock and lulling him into a sense of false security.

A sharp rat a tat on the glass door leading into the on-air studio, momentarily distracted the shock jock and he looked up to see Colonel Cush grinning back at him. Abandoning his head set for a moment, he stood up, greeted Cush with a hearty handshake and motioned Cush to the seat opposite his desk. "Tremayne" was continuing, but the shock jock wasn't worried. After all, the caller agreed with him.

"I absolutely agree with you, no problems. I mean why should I be prevented from telling you publicly or privately that I think you are a simple minded, half witted, fucked in the head, alcoholic, closet dick licking, dog fucking, goat molesting imbecile......"
"Tremayne" alias "Wayne" alias "Shane" alias "Zane" couldn't believe his luck. All other times he had attepted to exercise his rights to free speech, free from the constraints of "political correctness" on the radio shock jocks program, he had been cut off. For all his raving and mouthing, the radio shock jock couldn't take anyone being honest with their opinion.

"You're a bloody liar and you're a shithouse bred hypocrite........" "Tremayne was saying, as the radio shock jock realised suddenly that all of this was going on-air. He found himself colouring up and trembling as he cut Tremayne off. "Oh, oh we seem to have lost Tremayne," he announced in a strangled voice. "We will go to music and when we come back, we will be talking with His Worship, the esteemed and great Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush."

Colonel Cush had heard some of what "Tremayne" had said and he laughed. The shock jock looked sharply, accusingly at him, and Cush attempted to disguise it in a coughing fit. He noticed the shock jock had turned a beetroot red.

"There's some turds of people out there," said Cush when the coughing had died down.

"Oh, I know, I know," gushed the shock jock in aggrieved tones. "They think they can say whatever they like. Some of them are just so crude! You wonder what the world is coming to, you really do."

"Yes indeed," agreed Cush. "Cheeky buggars, all need sending into the army, over to Afghanistan for a couple of years, that'd straighten em all out."

......................................................

The music break ending, the shock jock commenced the interview with Cush regarding the recent controversy in Cairns over the sale of Mt Whitfield to the Chinese Shang Hai Hangyang Corporation.

"So Mayor Cush," asked the shock jock, "I hope you read the Editorial in yesterdays "Cairns Post" begging the Councillors who voted against the sale, to go back to Council and rescind their vote?"

"Yes," said Cush, "and I congratulate the Editor of The Cairns Post for writing such a fine editorial, taking into consideration the needs of the city and the region...."

"He's a clever fellow," broke in the shock jock. "He's a good mate of mine and he has always impressed me as being passionate, just passionate about the needs of this city."

"Undoubtedly," agreed Cush passively. "The Cairns Post has always stood beside me as I have steered this city in the right direction...."

"You've changed the entire city ambience, since you were elected," gushed the shock jock, "I mean the streets of the central business district are just full of people and the night life is now just to die for. Just to die for, so many adult clubs and entertainment...."

"I gave the people of Cairns, just what they wanted," returned Cush. "The previous Council led by Mayor Schier wanted some unholy monstrosity of a performing arts theatre built on good land, which we have sold off to a Chinese corporation as you know for a good profit. "

"The building is magnificent, a real asset to Cairns with the Chinese national flag painted on the side overlooking the city," broke in the shock jock. "I mean so many tourists comment that it makes the skyline of Cairns so much more colourful."

Cush almost choked at this banality by the shock jock, however he merely nodded instead. Frankly, he was pissed off by the sight of the Chinese Communist flag overlooking the entire city, but few people apart from some old RSL boys had bothered to complain.

"Yes," said Cush. "People are very supportive of my decisions and they all tell me Cairns just is not the sort of city to have a fancy schmancy modern theatre so all the chardy drinking toffs can dress up in tuxes to go see the ballet."

"Exactly," said the shock jock, "I have been telling the people of Cairns that for years!"

"So I give them the type of entertainment the people really wanted, places like The Red Plum. Well, they tell me that there's standing room there only most nights, especially when Erris and her Snake are performing. Have you seen her show by the way?"

The shock jock had, of course. However he didn't think the details should go out on air. Not really. The Catholic Church, the womens groups, the feminist lobby, all had been up in arms and screaming their heads off when it was revealed that Erris, an "exotic" dancer from Thailand, performed certain erotic acts with her pet snake.

"Eeeer, yes, Mr Mayor, and I agree with you. Cairns people, so many of them, phoned me daily saying they didn't want a new theatre, and I agree, adult entertainment like The Red Plum is much more suitable for Cairns people and for the tourists, and let's face it, tourists want adult entertainment, not to see something ridiculous and stupid like Phantom of the Opera or Swan Lake. But let's move forward shall we, to this latest controversy over the sale of Mt Whitfield to the Chinese, Shanghai Hangyang Corporation. I mean, I can't understand why some Councillors voted against this? It is the best thing to happen to Cairns in a long long while. I mean, we have had no major project since the additions were built to the Cairsn Base Hospital. Governments all forget about us, and give everything to Townsville or the South East corner. Surely the Councillors must know this? Surely they know that this project, which is an Executive Training and Retreat complex, with over 3,000 rooms and almost an entire resort town, will be a major source of employment for the people of Cairns?"

The moment had come for Cush. He hoped it would come off, as he planned. Now was the time to be "cagey" and crafty.

"Well," he began, trying to sound laid back, "I guess those Councillors feel for the environment, and believe in the aesthetic value of the undeveloped hillslopes around Cairns , and don't see them in terms of economic value."

"Greenies!" spat back the shock jock. "I have been saying for years that these people are holding Cairns back, holding back our progress and development. I mean where do they get off?"

Cush could hardly believe his luck.

"Ahhhh," he began cautiously, "They have considerable ummm clout, if you like, even as far as our nation's Federal Parliament."

"Canberra?" the shock jock latched on like a pit bull on a bare leg. "What's Canberra got to do with this? This development is OUR decision, not Canberra's surely?"

Careful, careful, thought Cush. Just give him so much, he'll do the rest.

"Our Greens are represented in Canberra," Cush replied, "and they do have influence in many ways, and I'm afraid I can't go any further than that."

"You can't or you won't?" broke in the shock jock.

Cush could see the shock jocks mind racing away, making Olympic leaps into wrong conclusions, and he laughed inwardly. It was going better than he thought.

Cush took is time answering, making it seem that he was struggling. "Look, I really don't want to go into this in any more detail except to say that I won't be asking the Councillors to rescind the vote on the sale of Mt Whitfield. I feel I may have said more than I should as it is."

The shock jock was now all fired up, his mind, Cush knew, had already somersaulted to incorrect conclusions.

"Mr Mayor," said the shock jock in outraged tones, "Are you saying that the Greenies in the Council, the likes of Skye Lovelady and company, have called in Canberra on this issue? Is this what you are saying?"

Cush pretended to be embarrassed and a little distraught. Hastily, he pulled out his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face. "No, no, no," he muttered in an anguished soft voice. "Look, umm, I really can't talk about this any more except to say that the sale of Mt Whitfield won't be going ahead. And if you excuse me, that's all I am saying on the matter. I really must get back to Council."

Cush stood up, still wiping his face.

The look on the shock jock's face said it all. Cush could see exactly what he was thinking, and it was all he could do not to guaffaw out loud. Drop the tiniest little hint..........

Hastily, he shook the shock jock's hand, and left as quickly as he could.

Downstairs from the building, he switched on his car radio to listen to the rest of the program. The shock jock did exactly what Cush knew he would do.

"I hope everyone heard that interview with His Worship, the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush," the shock jock was saying. "It seems, if we can use our brains, and work out what he wasn't saying, or wasn't prepared to say, that our Greens Councillors, namely one Councillor Skye Lovelady, has been whinging and whining to Canberra about the sale of Mt Whitfield. I mean, the Mayor himself, is just too much a gentleman, too gallant to betray a lady, even if it is one of his own deceitful Councillors who has undermined him from the day they were elected."

The shock jock was in true form now and his voice rose higher with indignation. "Councillor Lovelady has obviously called in the Federal Government to stick their noses into a local government matter, and they have obviously threatened or intimidated our Mayor. Our wonderful Mayor, who has done great things, great things for this city."

"You wonder again, as I have said before many times on this program, at the sheer influence of this Councillor. I mean, how does she have such good friends in Canberra, to do her bidding whenever she snaps her fingers. How does she do it? How does she do it?."

"I have some callers online now, to discuss this latest development. Hello Reg of Redlynch."

"Ohhhh mate, maaaate," said Reg, who was a regular caller on the shock jocks radio program.
"I listened to Colonel Cush and I heard him well and good. He was too much of a gentleman to betray his Councillor even though she has obviously done the dirty on him."

"Exactly!" agreed the shock jock. "He's a thoroughly nice bloke, our Mayor. You know, people just don't know how nice he really is and when you see something like this, this treachery from a Councillor, and yet here he is, our Mayor, still unprepared to name her and shame her, still trying to protect her name..."

"Oooh I know, I know," said Reg. "So I reckon the people of Cairns should all get behind Colonel Cush and go down there to the Council offices tomorrow and let those Councillors like Lovelady know they want this project to go ahead. That'll teach Canberra to keep their bloody noses out!"

"I've been calling for a big counter demonstration for a few days now," agreed the shock jock. "And the time has come, Reg. I want all those tradies, concretors, painters, plumbers, wholesalers and so on, out there at the front of the Council offices tomorrow morning. A big demonstration to let the Councillors know, we want this Shanghai Hangyang development in our city."

The next caller was "Jimbo" from Mooroobool.

"Yeah mate," said Jimbo. "I'll be down there tomorrow morning, around 10ish I reckon, and I'll give that witch a bit of what for."

"Good on yer mate, that's the spirit!" said the shock jock. "Spread the word too mate!"

.........................

Driving back to the Cairns Regional Council offices, Cush laughed and laughed so hard, he almost had an accident in Spence Street. Tomorrow, he thought, was going to be a fun day!

To be continued...............







Monday 5 December 2011

CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF, PART 4

HIS WORSHIP THE MAYOR OF CAIRNS REGIONAL COUNCIL, Colonel (Retired) Ken Cush was in his Mayor's Office leaning back in his chair and discussing with his Deputy, Councillor Horseman, how to best get rid of Councillor Piper. It was a subject enthusiastically pursued by both Cush and "Horsey", however despite the number of conversations they had on the subject, they could not come up with a fool-proof, perfect murder.

"You reckon we could get someone to tinker with his car, just before we send him up to Port Douglas for the day?" Cush speculated. "Take a chance he just goes over the side on one of those bends."

"A bit dicey hey, I reckon." replied Horsey, leaning back in his chair and putting his legs up on Cush's desk.

Cush spotted a blinking light on his desk phone, indicating an incoming call. Hastily, he sat up.
"We'll think of something." He motioned with his hand to Horsey that the conversation was over, and leaned forward to take the call. Horsey stood up and left the Mayor's Office, thinking he might play the Red Plum Nightclub a visit and put out some feelers for a possible hitman.

"This is Susan Clourdy, the Secretary for National Security, Attorney-General's Office, in Canberra," announced a crisp, confident female voice, when Cush answered. "Am I speaking to His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush?"

"I just told you, lady!" replied Cush, instantly hating the confidence and efficiency of the female voice and thinking he would give this Susan Clourdy something to remember. Bloody females, taking over the whole bloody world, he fumed inwardly.

"We have secured this call, Colonel Cush," continued Susan Clourdy. "So that no-one can listen to what we are discussing, other than you and I. Is that clear?"

What the fuck! thought Cush. "Why does it need to be secure?" he grunted aggressively.

"Colonel Cush, we are about to discuss an issue of National Security. I am sure you can understand the need for caution on such a delicate issue?" replied Ms Clourdy.

"No I don't know what the hell you are talking about, you better bloody explain yourself." Cush was getting really pissed off.

It was Ms Clourdy's turn to sound irritated. "I am going to, Colonel Cush. I am going to."
"It is about the issue of the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and the plans by your Council to sell a large tract of land to them......"

"So what's it got to do with you lot?" Cush cut in. "I'm Mayor of this city and I have the right to sell off Council land. Why the hell are you lot in Canberra sticking your noses in where you're not welcome?"

There was a brief silence before Ms. Clourdy continued, "We believe the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation is not a legitimate corporation but in fact a front for Chinese intelligence agencies. We believe if your Council approves the sale of land to this corporation, you will be exposing Australia to serious and grave concerns regarding our national security."

Cush was genuinely astounded. "Well fuck me dead!" he growled. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone.

"Colonel Cush, do you understand the gravity of what I am saying?" continued Ms Clourdy who was now sounding exasperated and who was starting to understand why the Prime Minister's Secretary had mentioned something about Colonel Cush being a bit of a "Northern rednecked fuckwit."

His mind still reeling with this totally unexpected information, Cush rallied. "Yeah, yeah." he replied. "But are you sure you blokes down there got it right?"

Ms. Clourdy's reply was cold and abrupt. "Our intelligence sources are beyond doubt on this one, Colonel."

"We demand that you and your Council no longer engage in any discussion or business activity with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation. We understand that your own Councillors have voted recently to not proceed with the sale of the council owned land. We ask that you let that decision stand." continued Ms. Clourdy.

"And if I don't? What are youse gunna do, hey?" snarled back Cush hating this so efficient and so superior Ms. Clourdy even more.

"Colonel Cush, this matter is known to the Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull on whose direct advice I have contacted you. I will be reporting the results of my telephone conversation back to his office. Should you continue to have contact with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and should you attempt to rescind the original vote by Council on this matter, the Prime Minister can request State Government intervention in your Council. You must know the procedure. The State Government can sack you as Mayor and dissolve the Council and appoint an interim management committee. Now do you understand!" Ms. Clourdy's voice was raised to a high irritated pitch.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." replied Cush, thinking furiously.

"Good day to you then Colonel Cush," replied Ms. Clourdy, ending the call.

................................................

Susan Clourdy sat back in her chair and looked across at her colleague, Dean Jansen, the Assistant Secretary. "What a horrible man!" she exclaimed. "He was so aggressive!"

Dean Jansen laughed hollowly. "Cairns is the "deep North" of Australia. They like 'em rednecked, neanderthal and misognist up there. Even had a political candidate one time who actually stated that women who drank should take some of the blame for being raped."

Susan Clourdy shrieked. "You're kidding, right!"

Dean Jansen shook his head. "Nope!"

Clourdy frowned. "I just don't trust this Colonel Cush character. I have a gut instinct about him, and I'm going to act on it. Can you see that two of our field agents are briefed and sent to Cairns. I beieve Cush needs watching and I want to be kept informed of exactly what is happening, full reports day by day. The Prime Minister will also need to be briefed."

"Done!" said Jansen.

...............................................


Cush leaned back in his chair, digesting the information delivered by the Attorney-General's Office. He was due to be "onair" in an hour's time, as a regular guest on the local radio shock jocks call back program. The shock jock had discussed with him before that the issue would be solely about the sale of Mt Whitfield to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation, which had fired up the people of Cairns. The more Cush thought about it, the more he started smiling. He could work this latest information to his advantage and no-one would be any wiser! He chuckled to himself at the daring of it all.

To be continued...............

Saturday 26 November 2011

CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF, PART 3

Constable Ruby Frome of the Smithfield Police Station took the call. Constable Frome had recently transferred to the Smithfield Police Station from Longreach in the western central region of Queensland. Her colleagues had all said there were a lot of single hunks in the Smithfield Police Station, and Ruby, at thirty-six years of age, was getting a little tired of doing all the shit work at a Police Station and now had dreams of being a stress free domestic goddess and to hell with feminisim.

Ruby's dream was not to be however, and her vision of a domestic goddess with a sparkling clean house, happy, contented rugrats and an adoring husband was relegated to the memory banks of
broken dreams and the misery of life. All the male officers at Smithfield Police Station were well and truly taken and not one of them anyway was what Ruby would call a "hunk."
Sourly, she reflected that her colleagues at Longreach had given her a bum steer. At the back of her mind was the jubilation and cheers of her colleagues when she said she had been given the transfer. They had all been so happy for her! Nasty thoughts kept pricking at her, unspoken impressions that her colleagues at Longreach had wanted her to go.

"A Skye Lovelady has reported her unit has been broken into, and someone has killed her cat," Constable Frome announced. "Someone has left a message saying that her turn is next."

Her announcement immediately galvanised the male staff at the Smithfield Police Station.

"SKYE LOVELADY! DID YOU SAY SKYE LOVELADY!" every man in uniform called out excitedly, instantly standing to attention.

Constable Frome was astonished. It was like she had just said they had all won the Lotto or something. "That's what I said!." she replied tersely.

"She lives at............" However Constable Frome didn't get to announce the address. She stared, gobsmacked, as four officers instantly raced to the doorway.

"Hold it!" roared the Sergeant. Everyone stopped. "Only Constable Lake and I will go," he announced, motioning Constable Lake forward.

Constable Lake was also a fairly new transferee from the Western regions of Queensland. He had spent some time at Dalby, Winton and Richmond and had finally requested a coastal transfer. Nonetheless, he had heard a lot about the lovely Councillor Skye Lovelady, and was just as intrigued as everyone else to meet the lady and investigate the complaint.

The others didn't bother to hide their disappointment. "Awwwwww," said Constable Porter. "Awwwww, phooey! Favouritism!" snarled Constable Schmidt.

As the police car left the station, siren blazing, Constable Frome ventured to ask the remaining sullen faced officers who Skye Lovelady was.

"Only one of the most drop dead gorgeous looking women you could ever imagine," replied Constable Schmidt. "And the Serg. goes and takes that prick Lakey with him!"

"Aaay," snapped back Constable Frome, "Why should you all care how good looking she is anyway. You're all married men! How would your wives feel knowing you're lusting after another woman! Shame on you! For shame!"

"Gah," Constable Porter snarled back, wondering for the hundredth time how the hell a moralising, lecturing, judgemental embittered woman had escaped from the Victorian era and ended up in the Queensland Police force in 2013.

"Must be cuppa coffee time," said Constable Schmidt, walking to the tea room.

"Again!" sneered Constable Frome.
..............................................................

Councillor Skye Lovelady was aware when the police car roared up her driveway and two police officers entering her ground floor unit. She was also aware that she had gone into shock and her body would not stop shaking. Her legs felt like jelly and her hearing became fuzzy. At one time she had grabbed a thermal blanket and wrapped it around her, but her shaking had become worse.

She was vaguely aware the police were talking to her, but could not respond, only nod. Everything seemed like one of those dreams where images were stretched into distorted shapes and she felt like she was slipping inside a tunnel. The tunnel seemed to be sucking at her, dragging her in.

She could recall the ambulance van arriving and the Constable helping her into it. She held his hand and wouldn't let it go. It was the one solid grasp she had on reality. A warm and rough hand.

............................................................................

She woke sometime later, and took a few seconds to realise where she was. She was in the Cairns Base Hospital, a private room, and there was a man sitting in the chair next to the bed.
Her legs ached and she recalled her bicycle accident from the day before, and being helped by the two women who had two children and then......

Then she recalled Monty........

She couldn't help the tears, the loud crying. Memories of Monty as a kitten, his endearing little tricks and games, his softness and fluffiness, his affection for her, swept over her as she continued to sob.

"Heeeeey," said a soft male voice next to her.

Skye sat up in the bed, and was handed a tissue.

Gradually, she calmed down and looked at the man sitting beside her.

"Constable Ryan Lake," he said, offering his hand and speaking in a quavery voice. "The Sergeant said I should stay here all night."

Skye took his hand and for a few moments they looked into each others face. A few moments, yet Skye was to believe it was like a lifetime. A pair of blue eyes locked onto a pair of brown eyes and recognition flared from some deep memory recess.

They both spoke at once, hesitantly. "I know you from somewhere......"

There was an awkward silence and they both laughed nervously.

Flustered, Skye dropped his hand and they both continued to stare at one another. Skye liked what she saw, this slim man with dark hair and dark eyes. Constable Ryan Lake had scarcely been able to take his eyes off her all night long. She was so beautiful! He couldn't help thinking of all the stories in the childrens books his Mother read him when he was young, about the Sleeping Beauty. All throughout the night, he had counted his lucky stars that he had taken the transfer to Cairns. Oh, he had his doubts. Cairns was a different city, with a definite crime rate, so different from the bush of Queensland where in little towns like Winton and Richmond, everyone knew everyone, and crime was the odd drink driving offence. He knew his chances of promotion in the country towns was weak, and if he wanted to climb the ladder in the police force, he would have to work in the cities. He was prepared for that, and to further his studies as well. Cairns was renown for having a great university campus in the suburb of Smithfield. So here he was! Not only enjoying the Smithfield Police Station where he had established a good working relationship with all his colleagues, but now in the Cairns Base Hospital, sitting beside the lovely Councillor for Smithfield! How lucky could he get, he marvelled.

"I don't mind your holding my hand," said Constable Lake, offering her his hand again.
"As long as you don't tell the Sergeant," replied Skye with a smile, taking his hand.

They both smiled, and looked into each others eyes again.




To be continued...............
.......................................................................

Friday 21 October 2011

CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF...PART 2

Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, leaned back in his chair and let out a long melancholy sigh as he glanced down at the pile of documents on his desk. He had been reading them very intently for the past couple of hours and they disturbed him. Greatly.

They were all Confidential Reports from various intelligence agencies, both from Australia and the United States concerning one particular Chinese corporation. The Shanghai Hangyang Corporation to be precise. The corporation had received funding from the Chinese Government to the amounts of $US 76.8 million in 2010 and $US 92.4 million in 2012 for "overseas development and research." Suspicions of very close links between the corporation and the Chinese Government were further evident in that the current Chairman of the Shanghai Hangyang Corp. had previously worked for the Chinese military in a high advisory capacity between 1996 and 2008. Investigations by both Australia's and the United States' intelligence agencies pointed to very strong ties between Shanghai Hangyang and the Chinese military and intelligence services. The upshot of all the investigations pointed to a very strong recommendation to the Australian Government that any involvement with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation posed "a serious concern for Australian security."

Prime Minister Turnbull shook his head. Of critical concern to the intelligence agencies was the actions of the Cairns Regional Council who were attempting to sell a large parcel of land to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation. However, the reports just didn't end there. The ASIC agency had been investigating corporate bribery and money laundering activities involving a Hong Kong businessman who had been revealed as the son-in-law of one of the Councillors and Deputy Mayor on the Cairns Regional Council, Councillor Horseman. ASIC advised that at the stage of their report they just did not have adequate evidence to bring the matter to Court.

Turnbull mulled over the reports and thought back a few weeks when it was the same regional Council in Queensland which had almost caused a major international incident when it was revealed they had elected as a Councillor, the worst child killer in Australia's history. He recalled the anger of the Indonesian President and the quieter but equally livid stance of the Vietnamese President. On that occasion Turnbull had acted decisively and without hesitation and sent a team of Federal Police to Cairns to arrest and escort Mr Bud Yarrow to Indonesia for trial.

Abruptly, he picked up his telephone. The issue with the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation also required quick action as the intelligence reports indicated the local Cairns media were inciting the people of Cairns to force the Council to rescind a previous motion voting against the sale of the property on Mt Whitfield to the Chinese corporation.

Within minutes he had arranged for a certain high ranking public servant to contact the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush and request he cease with Council's moves to sell Australian land to Shanghai Hangyang. Briefly, as he finished his call, and looked at another pile of papers waiting to be read on his desk, he wondered just how long this Colonel Cush would remain as Mayor of the Cairns Regional Council. Not too bloody long, he fervently hoped. He had had enough of Colonel Ken Cush.

.......................................................................................

Sitting on the Cairns Esplanade at his favorite diner, Colonel Cush was again in his element, reading the complimentary editorial in "The Cairns Post" concerning the Council's plans to sell a large tract of land on Mt Whitfield to the Chinese Shanghai Hangyang Corporation.

"RESCIND THE VOTE, COUNCILLORS!" Cush loved it, and laughed out loud.

He had read all the on-line comments in "The Cairns Post" that morning and been immensely cheered by the support his Council was receiving. Oh, the people of Cairns were making it plain, he thought, they just wanted jobs. He was very optimistic the Councillors like Lovelady, Piper, Bomboniere, Dunnysmore and that turncoat Buttonsworth would come back to Council dragging their tails between their legs, with hang dog looks at their mongrel faces. The people of Cairns would chase them right back to rescind the vote.

...................................................

Councillor Skye Lovelady had been riding her bicycle home to her unit at Smithfield when she felt a hard shove in her back and all she could then recall was flying in a fuzzy sort of slow motion through the air and landing with a painful crash at the side of the road. Seconds later her bike came tumbling after her.

For a sew seconds she could not see properly but then reality hit with pain and a strange looking person, bald headed and covered in tattoos, standing over her. "Are you alright?" asked the strange looking person, whom Lovelady could not make out if it was male or female.

Skye stood up shakily. No bones broken! However she was badly gravel rashed, and her legs were bleeding. "I'm OK," she stumbled.

The strange person had picked up her bicycle and was looking at it. "I think your bike is alright, no damage done there either. Are you able to continue riding it?"

Skye looked at the bicycle and felt her legs tremble. She thought she would be fine in a few minutes. "Yes," she replied. "Thank you for your help. I'm Skye Lovelady and I appreciate your kindness to me."

The strange bald headed person nodded. "I know who you are. I've been a big fan of yours since you were elected. I'm Berri Honniston and that is my partner, Heather, and our children Monsoon and Yasi in the car up on the road."

Skye looked up at the road and saw a woman there holding a baby and a little girl intently looking out the passenger window. Gingerly, she walked over, and introduced herself to Heather, admired their little baby boy, Yasi, thanked Berri again, and continued her ride home.

.......................................................

Councillor Dom Piper was furious. He had been receiving filthy threatening anonymous phone calls all morning and during the previous evening. He had phoned the Police and lodged complaints.

.........................................................

Councillor Brad Buttonworth found himself driven off the road and into a ditch where his car stalled, as he drove home to Port Douglas. The driver who had forced him off the road actually had turned around and came back to yell obscenities at him. "Ya fucken cunt," the driver had roared, "you couldn't give a shit about those of us without jobs hey?"

.....................................................................

Councilloy Doug Dunnysmore arrived home to his modest unit at Mt Sheridan to find a contingent of angry constituents waiting for him. It was only because of the presence of his brother Teddy, that Dunnysmore avoided being physically attacked. He was so shaken by the confrontation that he smoked several cones one after another.

..............................................................

Councillor Enzo Bonbomiere found himself on the end of an abusive tirade by his brother-in-law, an unemployed electrician. "Yeah, you've got money coming in," yelled his brother-in-law,
"you're alright Jack, alright Jack, so you don't give a stuff about anyone else!"

Guido only quietened down when his sister Maria intervened.

..................................................................

It was early evening when Councillor Skye Lovelady painfully rode her bicycle up the driveway of her unit and leaned the bicyclee against the wall outside the kitchenette. She looked around for her pet cat, Monty, who almost always came running when Skye appeared. However Monty was not around outside. Skye shrugged, not concerned. Monty also loved to wander the neighbourhood.

She opened the back door leading into the kitchen and froze. There, lying in a pool of blood on her small dining room table was Monty, his throat cut so severely his head almost decapitated.
A roughly drawn poster resting beside the cats body had the words, "THE BIBLE SAYS YE SHALL NOT SUFFER A WITCH TO LIVE AND YOUR TURN IS NEXT!"

To be continued................

Monday 26 September 2011

CAIRNS, A CITY AT WAR WITH ITSELF...PART 1

The city of Cairns was in uproar. Never before in its history had a Council decision caused so much anger and division. The community quickly and easily erupted into two warring, hostile armies. On one side those who supported the sale of Mt Whitfield to the Chinese Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and on the other side, those who wanted Mt Whitfield retained in its pristine state. Fights broke out in bars and hotels across the city, neighbours screamed across backyard fences at each other, tension and division entered many workplaces, the local newspaper "The Cairns Post" was inundated with online comments and letters representing both arguments, local blogs were swamped with comments and people all over the city fought and argued and abused one another.


Colonel Cush, the Mayor of the Cairns Regional Council couldn't have been more delighted with the way the issue had blown up into a full scale community stoush. Only two days after the Council vote, he and Horsey, his Deputy, were listening to the local Cairns Radio shock jock and his talk-back program.

The shock jock was no novice at demagoguery and was relishing his role as commander of the pro-development troops in urging the supporters of the sale to stage a counter demonstration outside the Council Offices in Spence Street.


"Don't accept the "No" vote," the shock jock roared across the air-waves of Cairns, "it can be rescinded if you all protest loud enough. Get out there and tell your Councillors they got it all wrong. Don't sit back and think you can do nothing. Mobilise yourselves, let the Council know just how many of you want the sale to go ahead."

As was his protocol, the shock jock had callers to his talk-back show screened so that only the pro-development callers were allowed to comment.


Reg of Redlynch was, as usual, the very first caller. "Oh mate, maaaate," simpered Reg, "I couldn't believe it when I heard the Council had voted against the Chinese development. I just could not believe it. You wonder what got into the heads of those Councillors who voted against it?"



"Exactly Reg," broke in the shock jock. "I was wondering just what was going through their heads as well. It seemed to me as if something ......or SOMEONE....SOMEONE..." Here the shock jock altered his voice to a softer pitch and strung out his words. "...SOMEONE, may have unwittingly influenced them. Someone who has these powers to addle people's rational thinking and make them do things they normally wouldn't."



"Mate," agreed Reg. "I'm with you on that. I'm right with you mate. I've been wondering too like, about that Councillor Lovelady. She's the one with the influence alright. You know I wonder just how she does it?"


"Oh so do I, so do I," interrupted the shock jock, his voice thick with meaning.


Reg had no qualms about discretion. "Is she sharing her so called favours with the Councillors? I mean, let's face it, there she is, the only female, and a young one at that, with all these men, day after day in the Council Chambers. I mean, I wouldn't find someone like that attractive, but as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that."


Sitting in the Mayor's Office, both Cush and Horsey smirked and chuckled at Reg's accusations.


"Sharing her favours," Horsey repeated. "I like that!"

"Reg, we have to go, I've got Ron of Trinity Beach on the line now," said the shock jock.


Ron of Trinity Beach was a tradie. "Mate, maaaate," he said, "I'm a tradie, a concrete finisher, and I've been unemployed on and off now for about a year. This development would have given me work for several months if those bloody Councillors had voted for it!"




"It's just unbelievable," the shock jock replied. "This city has only seen one development in the past two years, and that has been the WangZang Skyscraper Building! I mean, I just don't know how you fellas are all surviving out there."


"We're not mate," said Ron. "So when this proposal put forward by the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation comes up, and Colonel Cush supports it, what does his bloody Councillors do, but they go behind his back and oppose it. I mean, they've all got their jobs haven't they?"


"Of course they have their jobs, and well paid ones at that," agreed the shock jock. "They don't have to worry about where the money is coming from to pay the mortgage, send the kids to school and put food on the table."


"I was just disgusted with what that new Councillor, what's 'is name, Dunnysmore said," continued Ron. "He said something about not understanding the culture of Chinese corporations or smething like that. The man is a fool if he doesn't understand the Chinese are just like us now. The wife and I have been to China on a tour and mate, I tell you, they are exactly like us now. There isn't one iota of difference between the two countries. Not one iota!"

The shock jock broke in again. "I had a lot of doubts when that Councillor took his seat. I mean, he shouldn't be there in the first place. There should have been another by-election called for Division Two, but instead, the Government, in its wisdom decided not to have another by-election...."

"He's a weirdo mate, that's all you can say about him," continued Ron. "A weirdo who shouldn't be a Councillor. And what about Councillor Buttonworth, I mean, he's one of Cush's own Councillors and he went and voted against it."




"I don't know what has gotten into Councillor Buttonworth," said the shock jock. "He's always done the right thing by Cush before. As I was saying earlier, he has obviously been influenced by someone, someone who is able to addle his thinking processes in ways we can't quite understand."


"Mate," continued Ron, who wasn't going to be side tracked. "I support your call for a demonstration by all of us tradies, labourers, sheet metal workers, glaziers, riggers, dogmen, concreters and so on, all of us who are going to miss out on jobs, to get down there in front of the Council offices and let Cush know we are right behind him, and we WANT JOBS!"


"Good on you mate!" said the shock jock, " and now I have Zane from Edmonton on the line."

"Gidday Zane," said the shock, "and what do you have to say about the issue hey?"

"Yeah mate," said Zane, and the shock jock had a vague recollection that his voice was familiar,
"Maybe Dunnysmore had a point hey? Just what do we know about the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation hey? You reckon it's only about executive training hey? You fuckwit!"



"Ooog, gah, " stumbled the shock jock, once again recognising who the caller was. "Oh oh, we seem to have lost Wayne, err Zane. Let's have some music."


Cush and Horsey laughed.


..............................................



The Editor of the local Murdoch newspaper, The Cairns Post, was listening to the shock jock's program while writing his editorial on the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation proposal. He too supported the idea of a counter demonstration outside the Regional Council Offices. He continued to write:-


RESCIND THE VOTE, COUNCILLORS!


The Council vote on the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation's proposal for Mt Whitfield was wrong.

Those Councillors who voted against the development, ie Lovelady, Mingin, Piper, Bomboniere, Buttonworth and Dunnysmore have voted against the best interests of Cairns and the best interests of their respective divisions.



Ths city has not seen a major development since the WangZang Skyscraper, built on the site originally proposed for the abandoned Cairns Entertainment Precinct and hundreds of tradies, labourers and so on are unemployed. Colonel Cush in his election campaign, promised to get the city moving again and construction and development buzzing in the city. This he has done, with the erection of the biggest city skyscraper in the Far North. The WangZang development employed literally hundreds of people in its construction.



His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Cush, has the welfare of the people of Cairns and the Far North at heart and is trying to maintain development. The Shanghai Hangyang proposal for a 3,000 room Executive Training and Retreat development is the biggest development ever to be built in this city and the economic benefits accruing from such a development are enormous.



I urge the people of Cairns who are in favour of this development to do all they can to get the Council to rescind on its vote. Call those Councillors - Lovelady, Mingin, Piper, Bomboniere, Buttonworth and Dunnysmore, and tell them you don't like what they have done. Tell them to go back and change their votes. If it takes another demonstration outside the Council Chambers, then do that as well. Don't take this negative decision lying down.



Finally, we have to ask ourselves if certain Councillors are fit and proper people to be on a Council. There isn't any doubt that Councillor Lovelady, she with the unfashionable yeti look, has enormous power and influence over the other Councillors. Has she influenced the Councillors against their conscious will somehow in voting against this proposal? I know what I believe. The vote needs to go back to Council and to be rescinded. However I believe this can only be achieved without the presence of Councillor Lovelady in the Chamber.





The Editor checked what he had written and nodded. He liked it!



To be continued..................

Monday 19 September 2011

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 6

"SAVE OUR GANJA - SAVE OUR GANJA - SAVE OUR GANJA!" Councillor Dougie Dunnysmore roused himself with a shudder of horror as he realised what he had been writing unconsciously on the note paper in front of him.

Covertly he glanced sideways at the two Councillors sitting beside him. Mervyn Mingin, the big murri Councillor for Division 5 sat at his right while Jim Howard, Councillor for Division 8 and one of Cush's Cairns Conservative Party team members, sat on his left. With an audible sigh of relief, he quickly turned the page over. Both Councillors were too engrossed in listening to His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush, who was Chairing the Planning and Environment Committee meeting to notice what he had been feverishly scribbling down.

The noise inside the Council Chambers was almost deafening. Dunnysmore could hear the reverberations of thousands of Cairns people chanting outside, "SAVE OUR MOUNTAIN, SAVE OUR MOUNTAIN!" It was the biggest demonstration of Cairns locals in decades and one of the security guards had already informed the Councillors that Police estimated the crowd at 10,000 and still growing.

It was the meeting where the Cairns Regional Council would vote on the sale of a huge tract of land on Mt Whitfield to a Chinese development company.

The public gallery was full and security guards had been busy all morning in escorting some of the more rowdier people out.

Dunnysmore could feel his heart racing and his face sweating. He could feel a panic attack coming on. Never did he ever imagine the role of a Councillor could be so bloody awful! Taking out a grubby handkerchief he wiped his face yet again and polished his glasses. He had given Colonel Cush his word yesterday that he would support the sale of the land to the Chinese. That was yesterday! Yeah, for fucks sake, that was fucken yesterday. Yesterday it had all seemed so clear cut. A big development, money and jobs for the locals. Yeah. Then, who should arrive last night at his unit in Mt Sheridan but his fucken brother Teddy and his mate Pedro.
"You can't sell bloody Mt Whitfield to the Chinese!" roared Pedro, all aggro like and looking like he was going to punch someone's lights out.
"Why not?" returned Dougie, "It would be good for the unemployed."
Pedro looked mutinous. "Where the fuck do you think I grow my ganja hey?"

Speechless, Dougie stared at Pedro who threw up his hands and slumped into a chair.

"Aaay, I thought you were growing it up at Cape Trib. somewhere in the rainforest," Dougie said eventually. "You know amongst all the ferns and prehistoric stuff so that no-one could see it?"

Pedro shot him a look of contempt. "Lowrider won't grow in those conditions," he spat. "I tried it and all the plants died didn't they, hey? Besides you think I'm gonna hump bags and bags of epsom salts and manure for bloody miles and miles without anyone getting a bit suspicious. Christ all mighty, Cape Trib today is crawling with undercover cops for a start without the thousands of tourist and fucken grey nomads in their Winnebagos."

"Well I didn't know," Dougie replied looking anxiously at Pedro. "So where exactly are you growing it?"

"I told you, ya deaf cunt, on fucken Mt Whitfield, off the Blue Arrow," Pedro answered, "Got quite a few plants, been growing 'em there for some time now. Afghani dwarf ganja, a new type which grows in poor soil. Got the seeds off some solider boys who brought them back with them from Afghanistan, didn't I? You like the shit don't ya?"

Dougie had felt as if his guts were falling away. Shakily he sat down and stared at Teddy and Pedro. "Jeeeeezus blardy Christ!" he stammered.

"The soldier boys reckoned it wasn't like the other lowrider shit," explained Pedro, "you don't hack so much as you do with the other Afghani stuff. Beauty of it is it likes very poor soil which Mt Whitfield has. All I got to do is to take up some chicken manure from time to time and it fucken grows like Jack's bloody beanstalk. I got plants all over the place. No bastard would know what they were either, because they don't look like the usual indica."

Pedro had leaned back in his chair, fixing Dougie with a hard stare. "So whatcha gonna do now COUNCILLOR? Give away all our ganja to thousands of fucken Chinese executives?"

Dougie Dunnysmore had hardly slept a wink that night, tossing and turning and in the morning had a bad case of the squirts.

.........................................

Dunnysmore came back to the present, still seeing Pedro's contemptuous, angry face in front of him.

The moment had arrived. Councillors Bob Horseman and Jim Howard then proposed that the sale of land on Mt Whitfield be sold to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation and tabled plans for the development of a huge hotel complex.

The crowd in the public gallery all started shouting at various Councillors. Finally, they qietened, as variious Councillors started speaking to or against the proposal. The speeches all fled by Dunnysmore who was only conscious of his heart beating erratically, and the sweat oozing from his face, underarms and hands. Councillor Skye Lovelady spoke passionately against the sale citing the environmental appeal of the mountain, its role in bushwalking and its tourist appeal. Councillor Mingin spoke about its significance to the indigenous inhabitants of Cairns and also its environmental appeal. Councillors Piper and Bomboniere echoed Lovelady and Mingin and indicated they were also against the sale.

Cush's Councillors, Horseman, Browne and Howard all spoke of the economic benefits such a huge development would provide to the people of Cairns. Councillor Browne from Division 4, turned and spoke to the audience in the public gallery.

"You people voted at the last Council election for development. That is what you wanted, development and jobs. You voted the last Council out, decisively because you said they "did nothing" for Cairns. You voted our Cush Conservative Party in because you wanted to return to a city constantly building, a city with cranes and jack hammering going all day, every day. A city which provided continuous work for thousands of labourers, truckies and tradies. That is what you wanted........."

Some in the audience tried interjecting Councillor Browne, who only raised his voice and deepened his accusing tone.

"So it is what we have done. We have honoured our commitment to the people of Cairns and kickstarted development. This development will continue with our pledge, and will provide thousands of jobs either directly or indirectly. You people are anti-development greenies, and you disgust me........"

The crowd in the public gallery all jeered and hissed at this and the security guards again escorted several people out.

The last of Cush's Conservative Party Councillors, Councillor Brad Buttonworth, representing Division 10, leaned forward to his microphone to speak. The shouting in the public gallery died down.

"I will be voting against this sale and this application for development," Buttonworth said in a quiet voice.

The entire Chamber suddenly went deathly quiet. Sitting at the top end of the huge round Council table, Colonel Cush jerked his head up and stared at Buttonworth with his mouth open.

"I have some grave concerns over selling a popular recreation area, enjoyed by both locals and the indigenous population of Cairns," said Councillor Buttonworth. "The previous Council bought this land for the people of Cairns and district to keep and to enjoy. I believe we should maintain that purpose. That is all I have to say on the matter, but I will vote against this, even though my own political party, and my Council team, the Cush Conservative Party are all for it. I go against my own party on this."

Dougie Dunnsmore felt the blood rush to his ears and his throat constrict. Christ, if he could only have a cone, just a small one! It was his turn to speak. He felt his bowels loosen. Oh shit, shit, shit. Cush was looking at him with unconcealed menace.

"Councillor Dunnysmore!" thundered Cush, "Do you have anything to say?"

Dunnysmore leaned forward to his microphone and opened his mouth. All he could manage was a series of high pitched squeaks so that he sounded just like Barry Gibb singing some high notes.
Shakily, he reached for some water, and gulped a few mouthfuls down. Taking a deep breath, and squeezing his hands tight be began his speech, which he had rehearsed in the early hours of the morning.

"This is a compelling case, development versus the environment and jobs versus recreation and I have given it much lengthy consideration. Cairns is surrounded by mountains and they certainly add to the charm and beauty of this city. I am sure that everyone here present knows or understands that at some time, we will have to commence development in the hills. They will not remain in their pristine state forever. Indeed we already have development occurring at the lower levels.....". Dunnysmore reached across to his water glass and took another sip. He was surprised at how steady his voice, though high pitched and feminine, sounded.

"However, I have some concerns about this development and that is the very nature of the application itself. A complex for the training and recreation of Chinese executives, presumeably representing Chinese corporations. We have many English teaching facilities here in Cairns and many recreational facilities which would suit such a development. I cannot pretend to know much about Chinese corporate culture, but I should imagine it would be very competitive like our own corporate culture. I also believe there would be cultural differences, many aspects of which we know very little. It is those aspects which worry me somewhat. As a Councillor therefore, I feel unprepared, totally uninformed to vote on something of this nature. I believe before our Council should vote on this that we need more awareness, more information on Chinese Corporate Culture and what it entails. Therefore I shall be voting against this proposal to sell the Council land."

Cheers rang around the public gallery! Dunnysmore sat back shakily and wiped the perspiration pouring from his forehead.

"You little bewdy Dunnysmore!" came a roar from the public gallery.

"Three cheers for Dunnysmore," came another shout, and with one accord, the public gallery all cheered Dunnysmore.

The motion to sell the Council owned parcel of land on Mt Whitfield to the Shanghai Hangyang Corporation was defeated 6 votes to 4.

Outside the Chamber, someone had passed the news to the crowds waiting outside. The impact of thousands of cheering people could be heard clearly inside.



To be continued..................







Thursday 8 September 2011

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 5

"Fuck me dead!" growled Cush. He and Horsey were looking out from the windows at the Cairns Regional Council Office at the huge crowd gathering around the Council building.

It was the day the Council was to vote on the sale of 21 hectares of land at Mt Whitfield to a Chinese corporation for developing into an "Executive Training and Retreat" complex, featuring a hotel with 3,000 rooms, several restaurants, swimming pools, tennis court, mini golf course, squash courts and small shopping centre. It was to be one of the biggest single complexes ever built in Cairns and Cush and Horsey were to receive a substantial "fee" each for the transaction.

Cush had never anticipated the people of Cairns would react to the sale of pristine land on Mt Whitfield. As he watched the crowd growing larger by the minute, Cush thought sourly how everyone claimed to be against the greenies, but in reality supported the greenies when their own properties were threatened. Oh, yes, it was a different story then!

In fact, there were many Cairns people who really couldn't care less. The mountains around Cairns had been largely undeveloped while urban growth had been centred on the narrow coastal plain. Perhaps they thought, it was time for the mountains to be developed?

However others looked at the range of blue green mountains enveloping the city, and in their minds eye could see a huge red and yellow flag looking back at them. They enjoyed their Red Arrow and Blue Arrow walks, and the thought of those tracks being filled with thousands of Chinese executives made them angry. Oh, they were not against the Chinese mind you, but the mountains of Cairns and the Red Arrow and Blue Arrow walking tracks were part of what made living in Cairns so good.

The people of Cairns had come out, in force, in their thousands to protest. Galvanised into action by an unprecedented social media campaign. Mrs Angela Warrington-Mather, whom Cush had belitted on the radio shock jock's program two days before, had been very busy. She had made a list of all the people she knew in Cairns, obtained their phone numbers, and had spent almost an entire day and two evenings phoning all three hundred of them. Also she had SMS texted her daughter, Samantha, a student at the local James Cook University. Samantha had the same communication skills as her mother, and within an hour the entire population at the James Cook University knew Cush was going to sell Mt Whitfield to the Chinese.

The university students in turn SMS texted their friends, and within hours, people all over Cairns and the surrounds, from shopping centres, to restaurants, to loading docks, to sugar cane farms, to the Base Hospital, to schools and to day care centres, and wherever people worked or gathered, received the news. Tens of thousands of people. Cush is going to sell Mt Whitfield to the Chinese. We have to stop him!

Traffic banked up along Ray Jones Drive, and many people simply parked their cars beside the road and walked to the Cairns Regional Council offices. Traffic jams occurred along Sheridan Street and Spence Street. The police were called in to direct traffic along both Mulgrave Road and Spence Street.

It was the biggest public protest in Cairns since October 1989 when over 7,000 people attended a rally on the Cairns Esplanade to object to a huge development at Trnity Point. On that occasion, the Mayor of Cairns, Keith Goodwin, had supported the protestors and the project was scuttled.

A heavily pregnant Heather was there, holding Monsoon's hand. Ky and David from her Same Sex Parental Support Group were also there, as were the Reverend Matthew Harmon, his mother and father, Mrs Angela Warrington-Mather and all the members of her womens community service club and Siobhan, the fashion editor at "The Cairns Post", was there with her partner, Zane.

"I hope the Editor doesn't see me here," fretted Siobhan nervously. "He thinks only hippies and ratbags and mentally deranged people protest against develoments."

"He wouldn't recognise you with those huge sunnies on and that floppy hat," reassured Zane, who was proud that Siobhan had decided to make a stand and try to save the mountain.

Siobhan smiled nervously and handed Zane the Editorial from the mornings newspaper. She had torn it out and put it in her shoulder bag purposefully for him to read.





JUST WHAT CAIRNS NEEDS!





His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush has again demonstrated what a strong leader he is, and the strong direction in which he is taking Cairns. He has worked damned hard to sell a piece of Mt Whitfield to a Chinese corporation for the purpose of building an "Executive Training and Retreat" complex. This will be one of the largest single developments ever built in the region, featuring a 3,000 roomed hotel, tennis courts, squash courts, swimming pools, a mini golf course, restaurants and a small shopping centre. The jobs such a complex will provide to the people of Cairns, will be obvious. The people of Cairns will prosper greatly from such a visionary development. The sale has been a delicate one, requiring skill and confidentiality at all stages. His Worship the Mayor has expressed disappointment that one of his own Councillors, Councillor Dom Piper, representing Division 7, single handedly almost scuttled the delicate negotiations by posting details of the deal on his Facebook blog. The Mayor has expressed his disappointment in Councillor Piper. "Councillor Piper has made a very serious transgression here, and I cannot condemn him strongly enough for his calls for the people of Cairns to be consulted on such a delicate matter. The Councillor obviously doesn't understand that he was elected, along with myself and others to run the city and make all the decisions. If he is too weak kneed to make decisions, then maybe he shouldn't be in the Council."





His Worship the Mayor has made a very valid point. When a Councillor protests that the people have not been consulted and maybe the people should have a say, then that Councillor is demonstrating his own weakness and inability to provide leadership. I also believe that Councillor Piper may have taken on far too much for his abilities. He really should have remained a plumber rather than taking on the duties and responsibilities of a Councillor.





Finally, no doubt Councillor Lovelady, she with the unfashionable yeti look, will once again gather up all her friends and supporters, the hippys, the greens, the socialists, the unemployed, and all the deadbeats and maggots of Cairns and district to come out and protest this wonderful development. Cairns people should see them for what they are, destructive, selfish people who would send Cairns back to the time of the Walubarra Yidinji when development meant a few gunyahs along the banks of the Barron River.





Zane's eyes widened with shock and his voice was thick with disgust. "This is just revolting!"

he turned to Siobhan, who nodded in agreement. "I wish you didn't work there with that bastard!"



The Reverend Matthew Harmon worried about the safety of his elderly and frail parents who were finding the crush of people a bit much. "I wish you hadn't insisted on coming down here," he lectured his parents.



"Matt, wild horses wouldn't keep us away from this," his Mother replied. "Your father and I have some very good memories of the Red Arrow walking track!" She smiled across at her husband. "In fact Matt, I do believe you were conceived under a tree on that walking track!"



"Muuuuuuuuum!" wailed the Reverend with embarassment as his parents both laughed.



"Hehehe," laughed his father. "Probably a good number of Cairns people started off their life on that track, if the truth be told. We all knew of a few good spots there to take our dolls for a bit of a roll in the hay."



"Daaaaaaaaad!" wailed the Reverend, feeling his face grow hot, and realising for the first time that there was a lot about his parents he didn't know.



"Save our mountain!" shrieked a shrill high pitched voice, as Monsoon waved her placard.

Heather rubbed her daughter's shoulder protectively and waved to Ky and David who pushed their way through the crowd to join them.



Standing at the top floor window, Cush and Horsey watched as yet another surge of people crowded into the surrounding gardens of the Council building, and Councillors Lovelady and Mingin climbed up onto the back tray of a council ute. The crowd roared and waved their placards. "Save our mountain!" "Save Mt Whitfield!"



Councillor Lovelady attempted to speak but was drowned out in the cheers from the crowd.


Skye Lovelady, the Councillor for Division 9, was a former James Cook University student and very popular on the James Cook campus. Almost the entire population of the university had come out to protest the sale of Mt Whitfield and the university had closed for the day.



Councillor Mingin then attempted to speak but was also drowned out by the cheers from the strong aboriginal and torres strait islander contingent in the crowd. The aimiable giant Mingin was a highly regarded man, particularly in the aboriginal population.





"Fuck, look at those two deadbeats," grunted Cush to Horsey.



In the background, Cush could hear the local radio shock jock who was hosting his radio talk-back show.




"I hear there are a few hippys, greenies and the usual rent-a-crowd down at the Council offices," said the shock jock. "No doubt these useless morons have all been stirred up by that female yeti, Councillor Skye Lovelady. You know, in previous centuries, that creature, that woman, would have been burned at the stake. People would not have tolerated her to live in their community.


I mean, all she ever does, is to criticise, oppose and undermine His Worship the Mayor, at every single opportunity."




The first caller was "Reg of Redlynch".



"Mate, mate," said Reg. "You know the Bible tells us that we should not suffer a witch to live. Fair dinkum mate."




"The Bible is a pretty good source of wisdom. Maybe they had it right," answered the shock jock. "I mean what sort of woman grows her underarm hair so that it almost reaches her waist? Tell me that?"



"Mate, she isn't normal that's for sure," answered Reg.



What gets to me," said the shock jock, "is the way in which she obviously bewitches people, casts a spell over them, so that they all rush out whenever she snaps her fingers and start their yelling and screaming, and holding up the traffic. I mean, what do the tourists think when they come here and see all these screaming ratbags?"




The next caller was "Shane of Forest Gardens."



"Hello Shane," said the shock jock. "You want to comment on the demonstration outside the Council offices? I believe you are there right now?"



"Yeah mate," said Shane of Forest Gardens. "If you got off your fat, elephantine arse and walked down here, you would see about ten thousand people, not just a few greenies and hippys like you are making out. You're the fucken ratbag mate...."




There was a sudden silence as the shock jock realised immediately that "Shane of Forest Gardens" was once again, none other than "Wayne of Bayview Heights."





"Oh, we seem to have lost Shane," he stumbled before turning the program to music.


Cush and Horsey turned reluctantly away from the window and talked to the Council


Chamber. They could hear the noise of the people in the public gallery well before they reached it. The noise sounded like several swarms of angry bees.



The public gallery was full, with several security guards standing nearby. The crowd booed and hissed at Cush and Horsey as they walked to their respective seats. Cush spotted the two representatives of the Chinese Corporation sitting nervously in the gallery and waved to them.



They did not wave back but stared stonily at him.



Cush noted all his Conservative Party Councillors were there. He looked around.




Skip Jarratt from Division 1, Phil Browne from Division 4, Jim Howard, Division 8, Brad Buttonworth from Division 10, and of course Horsey representing Division 6. With the vote from Dougie Dunnysmore the new Councillor for Division 2, he had the vote in the bag. It was a cinch.









To be continued..................




Wednesday 31 August 2011

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 4

The Editor of Rupert Murdoch's newspaper "The Cairns Post" stood at the window of The
Cairns Post building, marvelling at the huge Chinese red flag painted on the side of the newest tower in Cairns.

It never ceased to amaze him just how much had been achieved by His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush and his Council, since being overwhelmingly elected by the people of Cairns and district just a short eighteen months ago. All that idiotic nonsense about an Entertainment Precinct for Cairns had thankfully bitten the dust, and instead of a "monument to an ego" being built, the land had been sold to a Chinese corporation by the Cush Council, and a large, imposing 64 floor gleaming white tower had been built in its place. It symbolized Cush, thought the Editor, and the strong leadership and direction he was giving Cairns.

Oh, there had been some opposition to the painting of the Chinese red flag, which was visible all over the city and as far South as Woree, especially from some old boys in the RSL. "The red symbolizes the communist revolution, and the large yellow star represents communism," they had thundered in outrage. "We don't want that in this city!"

The Editor smiled indulgently at the memory. Old boys and their quaint, old fashioned beliefs! Most Cairns people however liked it and were forever making the comparison that it was much preferable to the former Mayor, Val Schier's plan to have her "monument to an ego" on the site.
Besides many Cairns people had written in to "The Cairns Post" saying the attractive red and yellow on the flag, added a much needed splash of colour to the Cairns skyline.

Siobhan, the fashion editor for "The Cairns Post" had declared the yellow and red of the flag to be the "new fashion colours for Cairns" and had written that she would be proudly wearing an outfit of cherry red and sunny yellow to the Cairns Amateurs that year. That had been the cue for so many Cairns women to design their own yellow and red outfits, and the 2013 Cairns Amateurs had been a blaze of reds and yellows. Siobhan's own outfit featured a red suit dotted with yellow stars and a fascinator in the shape of a yellow star.

Siobhan's partner, Zane, looked at her with disgust as they drove to the Cannon Park Racecourse. "Mao designed that flag," he told her, "after the communist revolution. The red is for the revolution and the blood spilled during it, and the yellow star is for communism, while the little yellow stars are for the people."

"I don't know who on earth you're talking about," Siobhan replied sulkily, pushing her bottom lip out. "I don't know anyone called Mao. What a stupid name anyway." Zane gave up.


As he looked up Abbott Street and Spence Street, the Editor saw the growing influence of Chinese businesses in the central business district. Gone were the many Japanese tourist shops which had existed within the CBD for several decades, to be replaced by Chinese professional and tourist shop fronts.

The arrival of the Chinese as an economic force in Cairns had been a boon to the city, the Editor decided. Soon after the tower had commenced construction, they had added their voice and weight to the long drawn out quest to have the Cairns inlet widened and regularly dredged to allow more shipping into Port. There had been a long, ongoing inquiry into environmental concerns by the Queensland Government, and, thanks to the Chinese muscle, that inquiry had been fast tracked and resolved in the affirmative. Oh, the Chinese had to take the environmental agencies to Court, and it had been a long and bitter battle, but the Chinese had won in the end. The Editor had been delighted to write the story, praising both Colonel Cush and the Chinese for their persistence, and slamming the bullshit bureaucratic red tape which had held up the dredging operations for so long. Where do these environmental agencies get off? he often wondered.

Two dredges sent from China were currently working away in the port, right now. The Editor marvelled again at just how quick and efficient the Chinese were. No mucking about!

As he walked back slowly to his desk, to write the Editorial supporting the development of a large "Executive Training and Retreat" complex on Mt Whitfield, sudden unbidden images of last nights sex acts at "The Red Plum" filled his mind. He and Deputy Mayor, Bob (Horsey) Horseman, had spent a few very enjoyable hours there last night watching the unbelievable contortions of a couple of entertainers showing just how inventive sex could be. The establishment of "Gentlemen's Clubs" had been another much welcomed innovation of Colonel Cush and his Council, and Cairns now boasted six such clubs.

The images made him involuntarily shiver and his balls ache. Abruptly, he turned to go into the gents.

...................................................................................................

Angela Warrington-Mather sat on her decking overlooking Mt Whitfield, and fumed as she sipped her chardie. Never, never had she been spoken down to as His Worship the Mayor, Colonel Ken Cush, had done to her that morning on the local radio talk-back show!!

He had spoken to her as if she was a simpleton or a child. He had been so rude and dismissive and had cut her off. She fumed as she looked at the mountainside of Mt Whitfield and in her minds eye saw a huge complex stretching out across the vista instead of the pleasant verdant image of trees, shrubbery and grasses.

They would fight this, she determined. Oh, never in her life had Angela Warrington-Mather fought for anything. She was always very clear that she did not agree with conservationists or greenies because let's face it, they were against development and progress. She had nothing against the Chinese establishing a huge "Exeuctive Training and Recreation" centre in Cairns either, but, she reasoned, not on Mt. Whitfield. Not destroying her lovely views of an afternoon when she and her husband drank their wines of an evening and enjoyed the fragrances of the exotic vegetation drifting on the wind from the mountain. The vistas from her balcony added considerable value to her lovely home as well. I mean, who the hell would want to buy it, if it overlooked three thousand Chinese men jogging up and down the Blue Arrow or something? Why couldn't Cush and the Council sell all those disgusting houses in what was that awful street in Manoora? Oh, yes, Murray Street. Why didn't the Council sell all of those and build the Chinese complex there? She felt a lump rise in her throat at the thought of losing money and poured herself another glass of chardie.

She would get the people of Stratford, Redlynch, Freshwater, Brinsmead, Whitfield and Edge Hill to alll rise up and protest this development, big time. BIG TIME!

....................................................................................................

Councillor Troy (Dougie) Dunnysmore sat in front of His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush, in the Mayor's office.

"We will be voting on the sale of a parcel of land on Mt Whitfield tomorrow," explained
Cush carefully, eyeing Dunnysmore with a hard stare and trying not to grimace as he looked at Dunnysmore's very yellow face. "It's a parcel of land owned by the Council, and not the National Park area. I want to make that clear to you. We have an offer from a Chinese corporation who want to build a comprehensive executive training and recreation facilility on the land and the sale will provide the Council with sufficient funds to keep down any rise in rates for next years budget. Now as you know I am committed to not raising the rates during my term in office. Are you with me?"

Dunnysmore nodded. "I am also committed to not raising the rates," he said. "In fact it was one of my pledges during my election."

"Good," replied Cush. "So can I have your support in the Chamber, when the vote comes up?
There will be the usual objections from the greenies, socialists and ratbags in the Council like Mingin and Lovelady, but you don't have to take any notice of those fools."

"I'm not a greenie," replied Dunnysmore. "I support anything which will provide jobs and income to the people of Cairns, and it sounds like this development will be good for Cairns."

Cush was delighted. "Good!" he beamed, slapping the desk in front of him.

"Now I have another proposal ready to be put forward to Council as well, and these are two applications from the Stringfellow Corporation to establish two Stringfellow Gentlemen's Clubs, one in the Cairns Central Business District and another at Port Douglas," Cush continued, turning his back on Dunnysmore to look at some papers.

With his back turned, he didn't see the look of horror which flashed across Dunnysmore's face.
"Uh huh," mumbled Dunnysmore.
Cush took this as an affirmative. "Good," he replied, still not looking up from the paperwork.
"Well that's all for now. I'm sure you have something else to do."

He waved his hand regally at Dunnysmore who, feeling quite relieved, quickly fled the Mayor's office.

It had been quite an experience for Dunnysmore, the Councillor for Division 2, that first morning. He had expected hostility from the other Councillors, however he had been jovially welcomed by the big aboriginal Councillor for Division 5, Mervyn Mingin. "How yer goin' bro," Mingin had boomed in a large voice, "we got another coloured bro in the Council hey?" as he thumped him on the back. Councillors Piper and Bomboniere had been very cordial, showing him his desk and taking him to meet all the Council staff. Councillor Skye Lovelady had also been very pleasant, presenting him with some environmentally friendly cleaning materials to clean his desk. Lovelady had been so beautiful in the flesh, that she had literally taken his breath away. Oh, she always looked a lovely creature in the photos in "The Cairns Post", but meeting her in real life, she was just a vision of perfection itself. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen!

As he emerged from the Mayor's office, he automatically sought out Councillor Lovelady. There she was, standing in one of the corridors, in close conversation with one of the engineers. He stood for a while, drinking in her beauty. "Bro, she's taken!" whispered a voice close behind.
He jumped and spun around to see Councillor Mingin standing behind.

Dunnysmore shrugged his shoulders and gave a Bee Gees' giggle.

"Come and have lunch with me in the cafe, bro," suggested Mingin. "And you can ask me any question you want about the Council and its operations and I'll try to answer them for you."

As Dunnysmore headed downstairs to the Council cafeteria, he thought that maybe, just maybe he could really enjoy being a Councillor with the Cairns Regional Council.


To be continued................





Saturday 20 August 2011

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 3

"Mt Whitfield will be sold to a Chinese Corporation who will be paying the Council good money, good money, I repeat, to develop an executive retreat and training facility there," His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Cush, patiently told the woman caller, "Angela of Whitfield" on the local radio talk back program.

Cush was being patient and using his best "commanding officer" voice. Inwardly he was raging. That fucken prick of a bastard, fucken Dom Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, had alerted the people of Whitfield that a large parcel of land on Mt Whitfield was planned to be sold. Cush had read the announcement on Piper's FACEBOOK page. Cush and his Deputy Mayor, Bob (Horsey) Horsman had been planning the sale covertly for some months and he sure as shits' sake didn't want the greenies, conservationists, socialists, artsy-fartsy dingbats and one eyed NIMBYS all up in arms before the sale was all tied up.

This Angela just shitted Cush right off. She was persistent, with that whining, high pitched voice that women often adopt when arguing. "But that land was purchased by the last Council, when Val Schier was Mayor, purposefully so that it NOT be developed, and we could keep our beautiful rainforested mountain....."

Cush sighed right into the microphone and adopted a more patronising tone. "Lady, you all voted the previous Mayor right out of office because she didn't DO anything for Cairns, is that right....?"

"Ye, yes," answered Angela of Whitfield stammering doubtfully. "But, but....."

"In fact,"broke in Cush, still talking slowly and with dramatic emphasis, "people in your Division, which is Division 8 voted overwhelmingly AGAINST the previous Mayor, Val Schier, and gave me a 90% vote of approval. They voted for me BECAUSE, BECAUSE, dear lady, I said that I would get Cairns moving again, and get construction going again. Which I point out, dear lady, that I have done. The people of Cairns all said, they ALL said, they wanted construction works going up all over the city. Construction to employ locals, give locals jobs........."

Angela would not be defeated. "But, but....but...," she kept on stammering, as Cush gathered momentum and went for the kill.

"The Mt Whitfield project is a massive project, comprising of a 3,000 roomed hotel, with squash courts, saunas, swimming pools, a mini golf course, several restaurants, and night clubs. It will provide work during construction for hundreds of Cairns locals, and once completed will provide permanent work for the hotel and associated staff,." Cush continued.

"But it is OUR mountain!" squeaked Angela. "And you never consulted us......"

Cush raised his voice. "Lady, if I was to consult all the people of Cairns for every single decision the Cairns Regional Council did, nothing would ever be done! Instead I would be listening to stupid, anti-development hippies and greenies like you who oppose any new building or project just because you have nothing better to do."

Angela squealed in indignation. "Wha'aaat?"

"Goodbye dear lady," said Cush, indicating to the shock jock, he had finished with the call.

"Christ," said the radio shock jock, as he put a record on, "there's so many of the loonies out
there alright, greenies, hippies, lefties. Imagine the gall of the woman whinging that they were not consulted. You really wonder where these people have come from."

"She's one of the NOT IN MY BACK YARD fuckwits," agreed Cush. "They're all for development, but only if it isn't near them. All they can think about is how it is going to affect their pathetic property values. Well the Whitfield NIMBYS can all go take a
running jump, because this project is going ahead, come hell or high water."

"It's one of the best things ever for Cairns," agreed the radio shock jock fawningly. "I just love the way you won't take any nonsense from them."

"They elected me for strong leadership and to take the city in a strong direction," Cush replied loftily, "And I am doing just that."

The next caller, was the regular, Reg of Redlynch.

"Ooooh maaaate, maaaate," said Reg to Cush, "This Chinese executive retreat is the best thing for Cairns I have heard of in decades. Think of the businesses which will benefit from this and the jobs for our kids hey?"

"Agreed," Cush replied curtly.

"But oh those bloody whingers," went on Reg of Redlynch. "I mean, I just couldn't believe when that half witted woman, what's her name, Angela, reckoned they were not consulted. I mean, COME ON hey? It's like you said, if the Council has to consult with the community on every decision then you wouldn't be able to do anything at all. I mean, you would spend all your time, every day, listening to whingers and whiners like her."

"Exactly Reg," answered Cush. "Thanks for your sensible comments."

The next caller was Marva, another regular caller on the shock jock's talk-back program.
"Colonel Cush, you are the best Mayor Cairns has ever had. I mean, we voted for you because we wanted strong leadership. We didn't want some weak person who can't do anything because they need to get the permissions from the people. We voted for you because you make all those decisions for us and get Cairns moving again. This Angela woman, I think she should leave Australia and go to a Communist country....."

"Thank you Marva," said Colonel Cush, ending the call. He had heard Marva before and wondered if she wasn't insane to be quite frank.

The next caller was Heather of Parramatta Park.

"I agree with Angela," said a very determined sounding female voice. "The people of Whitfield and Edge Hill should most certainly have been consulted about this huge development...."

"You're not the Mayor of Cairns," retorted Cush rudely. "I am, and I make the decisions. If the Chinese corporation.............."

"You're a bloody dictator, not a Mayor!," broke in Heather loudly.

"Oh dear, we seem to have lost Heather from Parramatta Park," said the radio shock jock, writing furiously on a notebook in front of him. NEVER APPROVE ANYONE BY THE NAME OF HEATHER TO TALK ON PROGRAM. Later he would give that to the girls who screened his callers.

"We have another caller," said the shock jock, "and you are all listening to His Worship the Mayor of Cairns Regional Council, Colonel Ken Cush.

The next caller, "Wade of Woree" sounded instantly familiar to the shock jock, and it took him quite a few seconds to recognise his old sparring partner, "Wayne of Bayview Heights."

"What's the name of the Chinese Corporation buying the land?" asked Wade.

"I can't divulge that information yet," answered Cush warily.

"Why not mate, you seem to know what they want? Seems a bit funny to me, you can't
tell us the name of the Corporation,," persisted Wade.

"The sale is still at discussion stages," said Cush testily. "We don't have all the details yet."

"Will you be telling the Chinese corporation that they are building their retreat on a much
loved conservation area in Cairns?" asked Wade. "Bought specifically by the last Council to
preserve the mountains and rainforested areas around Cairns........"

Cush sneered over the microphone. "I will tell the Chinese just what they need to know."

"Yeah, I bet you will...." said Wade, as the shock jock cut him off.

"We're going to music now," said the shock jock.

"The rudeness of some of these callers!" the shock jock shook his head. "I could hardly believe my ears when he asked for the name of the Chinese corporation. I mean, don't these bloody clowns now that these types of deals have to be kept private?"

"Yeah," grunted Cush.

"I mean," said the shock jock, "they have these naive, childish ideas about open government. They elect Councils to make decisions for them, and then they want to know the ins and outs of all those decisions. Wanting to know the name of the Chinese Corporation, indeed! What an idiot!"
....................................................

Cush left the building of the local radio station and walked to the offices of "The Cairns Post".
He would get the Editor, who thankfully was "on side" and who would do whatever he asked, when he asked, to write an Editorial on the Whitfield Project. He and Horsey would make a cool two million each from the sale of the land, and he didn't want any rogue Councillor, like Dom fucken Piper to fuck it up.

He had anticipated a certain element of people from around Mt Whitfield would come out screaming the usual "Not in my back yard" taunts. Fucken NIMBYS. If you got all the fucken NIMBYS in Cairns together, he thought, there wouldn't be a single business or tourist development in the city.

He still fumed at the idiocy of that woman "Angela of Whitfield." Why the fuck were there simpletons around who thought, who actually thought they had some sort of right to be "consulted" over his decisions? Cairns had never ever had a Mayor like himself. The city was buzzing. A string of nightclubs and Girlie Clubs right in the CBD, a huge monumental tower, over 65 floors in height, stood on the site of the proposed Cairns Entertainment Precinct.
He and Horsey had made a few bob on that one, selling to a Chinese Corporation who had painted the Chinese Flag on the side of the building so that it stood out all over the city.

He sure as fuck's sake didn't go to the people of Cairns getting their bloody hillbilly opinions on that one! Oh some RSL old boys had a bit of a whinge about having the Chinese flag in such a prominent position where it could be seen all over the city and as far South as Woree, but no-one else had minded. Everyone, except for some poofters, had all been so glad that the previous Mayor hadn't got her wish to build a stupid Entertainment Precinct on it. Oh, he had had some pissweak people into see him from the Cairns bloody Choral Society, and some Youth Orchestra and a few other people he couldn't be bothered remembering, all whinging and bellyaching about how he closed up the old Cairns Civic Theatre and how they no longer had a community theatre to perform in. He told them the facts straight off. "The people of Cairns don't want that sort of entertainment foisted on them. They made it quite plain during the years that the previous Mayor was crapping her pants about having a new theatre. I was voted in by the people of Cairns, after I promised that I would spend NO MONEY whatsoever on bloody arts and shit!" Oh, that had shut them all up.

As he walked into the offices of "The Cairns Post", it suddenly occurred to him, that he had an appointment later that day with the new Division 2 Councillor, Dougie Dunnysmore. He hoped to Christ he wouldn't have any problems with him and the Mt Whitfield project. As for Dom fucken Piper, the Councillor for Division 7, Cush had had a gutful of him. He and Horsey needed to have a damned good talk about what to do with him.


................................................



Sunday 14 August 2011

CUSH AND THE WHITFIELD NIMBYS PART 2

We fought the fucken commies in Vietnam fifty years ago and now everyone believes we beat the crap out of 'em. All that fucken Hollywood spewing out those fucken Chuck Norris movies. Every bastard you meet today says, "I've been over there and they're just like us now." Just like us. Yeah, just like us. My arse. Hardly any Australian bastard today understands what communism is. Only ideology most people have today is "Look after Number One." That, and buy, buy, buy, more, more, more. Cush thought disgustedly as he spluttered into his glass of merlot. Australians just gave him the shits more and more as time went on.

Cush was watching the 60 Minutes program on Bud Yarrow, the newly elected Cairns Regional Councillor, who had been found guilty of mass child murder in both Vietnam and Bali. The
journalists were interviewing Australians who had used Yarrow's Medical Services Agency in
Vietnam. They were conservative looking, middle aged Australians from Brisbane. "Oh, if it wasn't for Mr Yarrow," the woman twittered nervously, "we would have had to pay out $15,000 for my husband's teeth to be fixed in Australia. Dentistry in Australia is just so expensive, I mean no-one can afford the dentists fees there anymore."

Yeah, that's right, thought Cush, we have the private enterprise country and regard private enterprise as a fucken sacred cow, then we all piss off to a commie country and use their services while whinging and bellyaching on national television about the costs of private enterprise. Fucken Australians!

He couldn't help feeling sour. The 60 Minutes team had travelled to Vietnam, exposing the
huge number of Yarrow's victims, as well as interviewing the Vietnamese Police Minister and various Australians staying in Yarrow's hotels.

Nearly fifty years ago, he had volunteered to fight the commies and arrived, as an eager, bright eyed and busy tailed nineteen year old in Vietnam in time for the Tet Offensive of 1967. What the fuck was it all for? he thought bitterly, swallowing more of his merlot.

The 60 Minutes program wasn't all about Bud Yarrow, who was scheduled to be executed by firing squad in either Indonesia or Vietnam within the week, depending on which country
won the argument they were embroiled in over who got to shoot the mass murderer. The program also covered the recent Cairns Regional Council By-Election in which Bud Yarrow had been voted into Council by the residents of Division Two.

Cush watched with a sneer as the program detailed the day of the by-election and an interview with the Reverend Harmon. Thank fucken Christ, the bloody happy clappin' sky pilot wasn't going to come into the Council, Cush thought.

It had been a hell of a fortnight since the by-election. Cush had quickly had to distance himself from being the person who made the decision to nominate Bud Yarrow as Conservative Party Candidate, and with the help of Horsey, his Deputy Mayor, and the Editor of the local Murdoch newspaper, "The Cairns Post" had pinned the entire blame on the Secretary of the Cairns Conservative Party, Ms Brooklyn Taylor-Downs. Oh, Ms Taylor-Downs had screeched and squealed but soon shut up when it was hinted that she had nominated Bud Yarrow because she had been having an affair with him and did her boyfriend know? Cush heard she had left Cairns which suited him fine.

The Murdoch media which had openly supported Bud Yarrow, with glowing editorials urging voters to vote for him in the by-election, went immediately into damage control.

Councillor Skye Lovelady's efforts to have the Department of Environment take legal action against Colonel Cush for killing an entire colony of flying foxes in the central business district fell through, with the Department advising that it would not prosecute. The editor of "The Cairns Post" latched onto this with great relief, and published the story on the front page, under banner headlines of "DEPARTMENT SUPPORTS KILLING OF FLYING FOXES". The accompanying photograph blown up to half a page in size, was one the Editor repeatedly printed of the only female Councillor, Skye Lovelady where her long golden hair was curled up under her armpit.
Councillor Lovelady was an arrestingly attractive young woman, but the long hair, caught up under her arm looked like a bristling brush full of underarm hair. The Editor loved it as much as he loved referring to Lovelady as "the hairy one in the Council" or "Lady Hairmouth" and other such insults. Councillor Lovelady was the only Greens Party Councillor on the Council and loathed by Cush and the Conservative Party.

The local radio shock jock who had absented himself for over a week after his own declarations of enthusiastic support for Bud Yarrow and his claims of close friendship with the killer, returned to his talk-back program with a sneering attack on Councillor Lovelady.

"Did everyone see that disgusting, revolting sight on the front page of todays "Cairns Post?" he asked. "I almost vomited up my cornflakes after seeing that. I mean, does that woman know the meaning of personal grooming or does she like to present herself as a female yeti or something? Has anyone out there got a damned razor or maybe a pair of shears would be more appropriate, to send her?"

First of the callers was Siobhan of Whitfield, "Ooooh yuk," she twittered, "I thought it was just gross, I mean, I really thought I was going to pass out or something, I dunno if I will be able to go to work today after seeing that............."

Regular caller, Marva, was next. "I have some garden secateurs she could use," she laughed.
The shock jock thought this was hilarious and laughed along with Marva.

Lulled into a good mood, the shock jock momentarily forgot the characteristics of the next caller. "Wayne of Bayview Heights."
"You're one sick fuck, mate," said Wayne rapidly. "You approve of the mass slaughter of flying foxes and claim a mass child killer is your best friend and the best bloke.............."

"Oh, we seem to have lost Wayne of Bayview Heights," stumbled the shock jock, switching his program to music.

The media machine in Cairns was back to normality.
..............................

Cush had encountered enormous difficulties with trying to get his own replacement for Bud Yarrow now that Yarrow was officially disqualified from holding office. The Minister for Local Government had flatly refused his request to hold a further by-election for Division 2 and had told Cush that he intended frcing special legislation through State Parliament enabling the next-in-line candidate the right to take up office should the winning candidate be disqualified.
"We're having too fucken many by-elections, and it's costing the State too much fucken money!" the Minister for Local Government had growled at Cush, before hanging up his phone as Cush started to protest.

It had been a mongrel of a fortnight. A right mongrel! The result of all of this was that the new Councillor for Division 2 was that little yellow freak, Dougie Dunnysmore. However Cush and Horsey had plans for Mr Dunnysmore.

Plans which the little yellow freak had better heed, Cush thought grimly, pouring himself yet another glass of merlot. The sale of the 21.5 hectares of rainforest land on Whitfield Hill to a Chinese Corporation was ready to be voted on by Council, and Cush didn't want that loopy little poof to fuck it all up. He didn't want another Greenie in the Council like fucken Lovelady who was always rabbiting on about saving the hillslopes of Cairns and the fucken beauty of the rainforests. He and Horsey stood to make at least two mill. each from the sale, and no-one, NO-ONE was going to stop them.

The 60 Minutes program ended with the journalist saying something about the Reverend Harmon's campaign to be elected as Councillor was "in all probability, deliberately hijacked with the publication of misleading information about his private life. Suspicion points to Colonel Ken Cush and his Conservative Party............"

Cush switched the program off with a flick of his remote control. Bloody good thing Australians don't remember anything these days for too long, he thought. The whole bloody fiasco of the sky pilot, Bud Yarrow and all that shit would be forgotten by most residents within a couple of weeks.

He drained his glass of merlot and thought about what he was going to say to Dougie Dunnysmore, the new Councillor for Division 2 when he rocked up to the Council the following day.


To be continued.....................