Wednesday, 18 May 2011


Cush thought he had struck it lucky again. The first thing he spotted as he rolled over and opened his eyes was a strange red haired woman lying beside him. "That old animal magnetism," he thought with a smirk, before groaning with the pain of a full bladder.
Christ, his bladder ached! Groaning loudly he shuffled off to the ensuite where he stood trying to relieve the murderous pain. His mouth felt like it was stuffed with gravel and his head throbbed. Cheap bloody wine, he thought bitterly. He wouldn't feel like this if he could afford the good stuff.

A sudden noise behind him made him swing around. There stood the beautiful redhead he had woken up with. Cush didn't recognise her until she spoke:

"Cushy, you woke me up with all your noise!"

Bloody Brandi! Cush stared at her. "What the fuck have you done to yourself, you look like jailbait?"

Brandi preened. "Oh I just had a bit of botox done and my hair re-coloured. You like?"
"No," growled Cush, shaking his dick to try and get some piss out. No luck. He would have to take a handful of pain killers again. "Go and change it back to blonde!" he snapped at Brandi.

Brandi responded by sticking out her bottom lip and saying nothing.

"The Cairns Post" had done Cush proud. His speech at the Cairns Chamber of Commerce the day before was plastered across the front page. Banner headlines proclaimed: "CHAMBER APPLAUDS CUSH AS BEST EVER MAYOR!" Cush smiled to himself, as he continued to read.

He and Brandi were again at their favorite Esplanade restaurant having breakfast. Cush was devouring his usual four fried eggs, six slices of bacon, two sausages and six pieces of well buttered toast, plus a pot of black coffee. Brandi was having her usual fruit juice and piece of fruit and eyeing off the waiter, a young English backpacker, called Hamish.

Bored with trying to catch Hamish's eye, Brandi noticed a flyer lying on the table next door.
She leant over and grabbed it, as something to read. "A SUPPORT GROUP FOR SAME SEX PARENTS" read the wording on the flyer. "Are you having problems raising your child? Do you need someone to talk things over with? Perhaps you might like to join our support group and share your problems." The flyer listed a date and time and an address in Parramatta Park. Brandi carefully folded the flyer and put it in her handbag. "Coooool!" she thought. She had gay friends amongst the hairdressing and fashion industry and thought it would help if she knew more about their problems. But better not tell Cushy!

Brandi brooded on her discoveries the night before. She had spent hours going through the filing cabinet in Cush's study, but could only find one bank statement revealing a balance of $24,050 and a Term Deposit of $100,000 at one of the banks. She could find no portfolio of shares and stocks. She wondered if Cush may have documents kept at his bank in a safety deposit box or something? However, she felt, she intuited, she just knew that Cushy had lied to her. He wasn't a multi-millionaire. That filled her with horror and dread.

Cush read on, the glowing reportage by "The Cairns Post".

"The Cairns Chamber of Commerce at their monthly meeting, yesterday applauded His Worship, the Mayor of Cairns, for his strong and pragmatic leadership of the city and region.
In his speech the Mayor noted that his Council was the only Council in all of Queensland and probably Australia which had not raised the level of the general rate this year as well as reducing the overall level of operating debt."

"The Chamber were very appreciative of the Mayor's efforts in revitalising the central business district of Cairns in forging a strong Club industry within the city."

"Cheers greeted the Mayor's announcement that the waterfront land, proposed under the previous Council to accommodate an entertainment precinct had been sold, and that development of a multi-story condominium and hotel were in the process of being built by a Hong Kong corporation."

The Mayor promised the Cairns Chamber of Commerce that more developments of this kind were definitely in the pipeline. "Cairns is thriving again, with strong leadership," His Worship said to much applause and cheers.

Cush looked at the photograph of himself, taken onsite at the building of the multi-story condominium. It was a good photograph, with him wearing a hard-hat, and smiling workmen standing in the background. Cush looked down at the bottom of the page, and laughed out loud. "The Cairns Post" had also published a photograph of Councillor Skye Lovelady. The one where it looked like she had this huge bushy undergrowth under her armpits. The caption read, "Councillor Lovelady, one Councillor not happy with the nighgt clubs."

Cush turned the pages to the Editorial and his smile grew even broader. "Cairns has finally a man leading the city and surrounds in the right direction. A man of strength, vision and pragmatism, His Worship the Mayor of Cairns, Colonel Ken Cush, was yesterday hailed by the Cairns Chamber of Commerce as "the best Mayor Cairns has ever had."

Cush couldn't agree more. Idly he flicked through the rest of the newspapaper, scowling slightly when he read a very small item on page sixteen at the bottom of the page.

The Police Dept and Drug Squad in Cairns have expressed concerns at the
growth of the drug and associated crime industry in the city of Cairns following
the establishment of the night club adult entertainment industry. A further
murder has occurred at the Red Plum Men's Club which is being investigated.

Cush raised his eyebrows at the murder at the Red Plum. This was the most exclusive of the adult entertainment clubs and based on the upmarket ones in London. There was a large fee to join the Club and large fees to enter, to deter the common riffraff. Once inside, there were lap dancers and small booths where one could retire with any of the lap dancers who caught your eye. Cush had had many an enjoyable night there himself! The Club had proven an outstanding success since the day it opened and Cush found it a good place to network with the movers and shakers of Cairns.

Still, Cush thought, the murder would get the Cairns cops off their bums. For decades the only work they had to do was to pull the indigenous homeless people out of parks and off the streets.

Brandi's mobile phone suddenly rang, bringing Cush back to reality. "Why can't you turn that bloody thing off when we're eating?" he snarled at Brandi.

Brandi answered her mobile and handed it to Cush. "It's Horsey for you," she said sweetly.

Horsey was straight to the point. "I've been trying to reach you since yesterday afternoon," he spoke sourly. "Bill Hooper died yesterday. Heart attack."

"Shit, hey?" replied Cushy, rapidly thinking that Bill Hooper, the Division 2 Councillor was one of the gang of four Councillors partaking in some commissions from the sale of Council properties.
His death would mean more commissions for the remaining three, Cush thought happily.

"So what do we do about another Councillor?" asked Cush, rapidly thinking ahead.

"Geez mate," Horsey replied, "You're not gonna like this hey? You're not gonna fucken like this at all, but if we have to go to the next one on the ballot box, you know what I mean, the person who got the next highest number of votes after Bill in Division 2, we're gonna get a fucken commie in the Council and a Reverend at that. The Reverend Matthew Harmon, aged about 30, who stood for the, and get this, will ya, the fucken Socialist Workers Party of Australia!"

"Fucken Jesus bloody Christ," stormed Cush. "A fucken Sky Pilot and a commie Sky Pilot at that! Over my dead fucken body. We'll have a by-election, I don't give a shit how much it costs, I'm not having a fucken commie or a moralising holier than thou bloody happy clapper in my Council. I got two bloody alter boys in Bombonieri and Piper as it is."

"Reg Silvers is keen to get onto Council," Horsey continued. "You remember him, don't you? Retired developer from the Gold Coast, got a yacht moored at the Port Douglas marina?"

Cush did remember him. "A good man!" Cush agreed. "Yeah, Reg Silvers. I like the man. Have you asked him yet if he will stand? He shouldn't have any trouble in buying a house in Division 2 if that is the criteria anyways, he's a multi-billionaire or something, isn't he?"

Brandi pricked her ears up. Reg Silvers! What was this? Cush and Horsey were planning on getting him to stand for the Council as a Councillor??? Oh Brandi knew Reg Silvers, the seventy year old retired property developer and billionaire well. And she knew his wife, the twenty-five year old former model and T.V. soapy star, Rhianna Silvers equally well. Brandi burned with jealousy so strong, her hands shook.

That Rhianna was far more beautiful and sexy than Brandi went without saying. Rhianna was just simply drop dead gorgeous. Brandi knew she could not compete with Rhianna for the title of "Cairns Babelicious", something which the journos at "The Cairns Post" had dubbed her.
There was room for only one "Babelicious" in Cairns, Brandi thought fiercely, and that was going to be Brandi Cush! After all, she, Brandi was The First Lady of Cairns, married to the best ever Mayor of Cairns!

Brandi's jealousy burned even more deeply when she considered that Rhianna was married to a genuine, honest to God, multi-millionaire with a large yacht, a penthouse unit on the Gold Coast, a unit at Port Douglas, and a large and gorgeous home at Whitfield in Cairns. While, she Brandi, was married to a ...a....a...... Brandi shuddered.....she would have to admit it...she had married a POOR MAN!

She had met Rhianna at several raves in Melbourne. Rhianna was an "E" queen, and had in fact introduced Brandi to "Ecstacy". Rhianna said she always carried at least a dozen pills in her handbag all the time. Brandi thought deeply. There was one rave where she took some photographs of Rhianna, with her mobile phone. She glanced across at Cush who was still talking to Horsey with her mobile. She would have to do a search, see if she could retrieve those photographs. Meanwhile she thought and thought about what she should do. What she must do.

To be continued.......................


  1. I like the sound of this "gentleman's club", the Red Plum, bwah hah hah. Tell us some more -

  2. You will learn more if you continue to read the series.

  3. So, a duel to the death between Brandi and Rhianna, the two trophy brides, hey?

  4. A very norty girl is this Rhianna. Wonder if her old sugar daddy will bail her out of trouble?
    Does Brandi go after him?

  5. Love your series. Will Bomboniere and Piper be brave enough to face the mocking and ridiculing from the local media machine once they publicly oppose Cush? You have drawn two very weak men as opposed to a courageous Councillor Skye Lovelady, who is getting the usual treatment from The Cairns Post.

  6. Ah, read on S. Northy, and stop trying to analyse my characters! They may surprise you, or they may not.

  7. Alison Alloway19 May 2011 at 19:01

    Terry, this is better than anything the Compost can throw up. Yeah, I know it is a satire and the characters are pure fiction, but I keep on wondering just how close are they to reality?

  8. The characters are entirely fictitious. No-one surely could be as gangrenous to the core as Cush? No-one could be as mercenary as Brandi?