Monday, 25 July 2011



YARROW, B.J. (CONS.) 5,434
HARMON, REV. M.J. (SWP) 4,713
INF. 219

The Reverend Matthew Harmon knew from the results sent via SMS text from the Cairns Secretary of the Socialist Workers Party that it was all over. His scrutineers had advised the preferences from Dunnysmore were running two to one in favour of Yarrow. The Returning Officer had told him
earlier in the day that there were also approximately 300 Postal Votes.

It wasn't the excited backyard bar-b-que he had envisaged, in the grounds of the Community Baptist Church. Up until the week before the by-election he had fully expected to reduce Cush's influence over the city of Cairns. All the online polls had predicted an easy victory for him
particularly since he had a national profile in leading the public opposition to Australia's participation in the war in Afghanistan. Then had come the Editorial in the local newspaper, The Cairns Post which had hinted that he was a frequent patron of the sleazy strip club, The Red Plum and consorted with strippers. This had been taken up with gloating enthusiasm by the local shock
jock who along with his talk-back contributors had bloated the lie out into astonishing

Glumly, silently, he passed his mobile phone to his wife Amber who closed her eyes and
shook her head with disbelief before then passing the phone onto the 60 Minutes journalist who had brought his crew to the Church bar-b-que while waiting for the results.

"We're very sorry mate," said the journalist who had trailled behind the Reverend all day, watching inteviewing and filming the by-election. The journalist's brief had been to follow up with a story on the election of the "Sky Pilot from Cairns" to the Cairns Regional Council. Everyone on the
60 Minutes team had expected the Reverend to win.

The Reverend could only nod. He didn't feel much like talking. However he knew he had to thank his parents, the party officials and members of his congregation who had all volunteered to work for him. With an effort, he shrugged off the bitterness he was feeling. It could wait until he was alone.

"Cush's Conservative Party are holding a Black Tie Celebratory Ball in the CBD at one of the
hotels there," he told the 60 minutes journalist. "You would find Bud Yarrow there, if you
need to interview him."

Someone from the Party told the journalist which hotel is was, and the 60 Minutes crew soon


Troy (Dougie, because he hated his first name!) Douglas Dunnysmore was almost catatonic with
shock. He sat motionless, scarcely breathing at the dining room table in his unit. How could
his astrology charts be wrong! He had gone over them again and again and each time they
had predicted he would be the winner! Never, never had his charts been wrong before!

He had endured, yes ENDURED such a shit of a day! He had to put a mask on. There were so
many people coming through the gates of the Bentley Park State School where he stood to hand out his "How to Vote" cards. And so many of them coughed, and sneezed, and blew their disgusting
noses right in front of him. Then there were the rugrats, scores and scores of them, all with
wet sticky faces and hands. And they were cheeky little trolls too. "Mummy look at that funny mans with the yellow face!" one of them called out while another little bastard said, "Is that man from the Harry Potter movie?"

Then that creepy arsehole representing Colonel Cush's team came by and shook his hand.
"Hello, I'm Bud Yarrow, nice to meet you!" the creep had said lightly shaking his hand, then
holding his hand up and grimacing in distaste.

Well now the creep was the Councillor for Division 2. Dougie Dunnysmore hoped the voters in Division 2 were all happy with themselves. They had the opportunity to vote in the BEST
man, but they blew it. They blew it big time. Serves the fools right!

After that thought, he felt alive enough to think a cone would go down well. He needed something to help him relax.


Bartholomew (Bud) Yarrow, newly elected Councillor for Division 2 of the Cairns Regional Council admired himself in the full length mirror of the ensuite in his plush hotel room. He was wearing a full tux, which made him look elegant he thought.

He would enjoy the evening. Having everyone say nice little pleasantries about him, having the
women all hug him and push their breasts against him, and generally being the centre of attention all evening. He didn't mind being the centre of attention.

Taking one last swallow of a glass of champagne, he left the hotel suite and took the lift
down to the basement where his chauffeur waited. As his lift descended, the adjoining lift
stopped at the floor of his hotel room. Three physically fit men, dressed in almost identical
grey suits stepped out and strode to his door and knocked.

After a few minutes knocking, they twigged. "Shit, we've missed him! He must have just
left to go to the party!" one said. Quickly the three Australian Federal Police Officers
took the lift back to the ground floor.

The party was in full swing at the Esplanade hotel, where the Conservative Party were
holding their Celebratory Black Tie Ball. Cush was in fine form, throwing down glasses of
merlot, cracking jokes and keeping an eye out for the man of the moment, Bartholomew (Bud)
Yarrow, Councillor for Division 2, to arrive for his moment of glory.

Yarrow's wife Mia had arrived earlier by herself in a long limousine. She had told Cush that
her husband was caught up with a couple of phone calls, and would soon follow her to the
function. That had been over twenty minutes ago, and there was still no sign of the new

Cush noted that there were several television news crews in the room, waiting for the man
of the hour, as well.

Suddenly there was a shout and the MAN himself was walking in through the door. With one
accord, all those present gave out a mighty cheer. "The conquering hero!" shouted the local
radio shock jock who was Master of Ceremonies for the evening. There were more cheers, congratulatory slaps on the back, hands shaken, women hugged and kissed as the Councillor for Division 2 made his way slowly through the crowd to the stage where the M.C. waited for him with a huge smile on his face.

Sitting at a table was the Editor of The Cairns Post who was busily writing Monday's lead story for The Cairns Post on the by-election.

"CUSH DOES IT AGAIN!" he wrote. "Electors in Division 2 gave an overwhelming vote of confidence in the leadership of Colonel Ken Cush in Saturday's by-election. Bud Yarrow, the successful business entrepreneur who is engaged in the medical tourist industry in Vietnam and who owns several backpacker establishments in Bali, received a solid vote of approval from the 12,800 electors. It was the right choice as Bud Yarrow's credentials are exemplary. He is a successful businessman, he knows the tourist industry, he has solid links to Asia and the booming economies there, and as anyone knows, Bud Yarrow is a decent, generous man with scruples and integrity, well liked and admired by many. He will live up to the expectations of voters."
The Editor read it through a second time, and sent the story off via email. It was all done and he was happy with it. He sat there at his table, drinking a glass of wine and smiling. He had helped with this victory. He hoped Yarrow would remember who his friends were.

"Come up here buddy!" roared the M.C. radio shock jock, as Yarrow battled his way through
the surging crowd of well wishers, and made it to the stage.

No-one noticed as three well built men, all dressed in similar grey suits walked into the
ball-room and carefully positioned themselves to the side of the stage.

As Yarrow climbed the stairs to the stage, the radio shock jock grabbed him in a tight bear-hug.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he roared, "I love this man, and I don't care who knows it!"

The three men stared. There was no doubting who they were looking at. They had seen
close ups of him in a video taken on a mobile phone by a very courageous young Balinese boy.

Bartholomew Josiah Yarrow was the Monster of Denpasar.

The radio shock jock continued his spiel. "I've known this man for many years, and I have to
tell you all, he is just the best, and I mean, the best type of person you could ever wish to

"Fucking hell!" muttered one of the Australian Federal Police officers. "What have we got here?"

"Bud Yarrow is one of the most generous, community spirited and decent men I have
had the pleasure to know," continued the shock jock, warming to his subject and his voice.
"If you ask him for the shirt off his back, he'll give it to you..........."

"Ooooh, isn't he just gorgeous!" simpered a voice close to the A.F.P. officers. They all spun
around to see a middle aged woman staring at Bud Yarrow.

"Ooooh, he's just divine, he really is," gushed her friend beside her.

To be continued.................................


  1. A bible-bashing, commie-loving, happy clappin' bastard...a child-killing psychopathic cxxx, and an obviously-still-acid-tripping feral bloody hippie...mate, I would of voted informal too...

  2. Anonymous, the voters of course don't know about Yarrow's crimes. The local media have sold him to the unsuspecting public like a packet of TimTams, whereas they have sold the good Reverend like a well soiled tampon. That is what the Murdoch media does today. It "sells", often in an aggressive manner, political ideas and candidates to the consumer (us). Unfortunately, the consumer, the public, buy the product sold to them, hence the vote for Yarrow, the mass child killer whose crimes have placed Australian-S.E. Asian relationships in jeopardy. Terry has done a good job in constructng this I think.
    However I imagine that Yarrow as soon as he is arrested would automatically become disqualified from taking a Local Government office. What happens then?

  3. Well said Liz. Good analogy there, "TimTams" for Yarrow and a "soiled tampon" for the Reverend, LOL.

  4. Good stuff Liz...Anonymous above'd only vote informal if you knew all that? Maaattte, I would be donning my black ACCA DACCA t-shirt,my trusty work thongs and my flannel-checked shirt,RM Williams jeans-ripped of course' jumping into my black 4X4 dual cab ute, throwing in the gigantic piglovin' mongrel and getting the fuck out of Bently Park into the serenity of the mountains...bitumend road of course...LOL!

  5. So the shock jock loves Yarrow hey? I bet the AFP coppers would find that OF INTEREST as they say these days hey.

  6. Well that explains why Dunnysmore didn't get the numbers. The bogans all left Bentley for the weekend. Yeah mate, I bet the coppers are more than a bit curious about that bloody radio shock jock too.

  7. Liz has made a valid point about todays corporatised media machine which is profit driven.
    They sell us products and we are consumers. Thus the voters of Division 2 consumed or sucked up the local media opinion on who they should vote for. The emergence of the "shock jock" on the Australian scene is to sell us politics and opinions through a hard-sell conformist agenda using scare tactics or a hate agenda. David Williamson, the Australian writer, wrote a play about this aspect of the media in his "Influence" some years ago now. His character, Ziggy Blasco was a bombastic, self-opinionated bigot typical of many of the shock jocks on radio today. Terry, you should get yourself a copy of "Influence" and read it.

  8. David Williamson will be in Cairns to deliver a lecture at the Rondo Theatre next Monday night. You would get a lot out of listening to him speak, I think, Terry.
    There isn't any doubt the media in Cairns have a far reaching impact on politics, local Government in particular. I like the way Terry mentioned the Editor of The Cairns Post hoping that Yarrow "won't forget who his friends are." Hehehehe. This scandal with the Murdoch media in the UK has demonstrated just how widespread bribery and corruption is in the media.

  9. It's a damned good point you have made here Terry in that the media sold a child murderer to the unsuspecting voters as a good man while destroying the reputation and career prospects of a truly decent man. I can picture a certain shock jock in Cairns standing on the stage hugging and declaring his love for the Monster of Denpasar. I've been laughing at the image all day.

  10. God or mighty I laughed hey, you know who he means is up there hugging and loving this Yarrow bastard.

  11. We might leave Mr Yarrow enjoying his last few hours of adulation and pleasure. The people milling around him have been left a lasting legacy from the Monster of Denpasar although they are not aware of it yet. Yarrow has left some of them, including the seventeen year old daughter of Deputy Mayor Bob Horseman, with syphilis. Then there are those whose smiles are phosphorous white, whiter than white, from visiting a certain Vietnamese dentist arranged by Yarrow's medical tourist company. The dentist has used a chemical which will leave all of his clients with mouth and oesophagus cancers within a decade. But they don't know it now as they proudly show their gleaming teeth off. Within two weeks Mr Yarrow will be executed via firing squad in Indonesia and the execution will be televised to the entire populations of Indonesia and Vietnam.

  12. Just a media tart26 July 2011 at 05:11

    You've created a right royal bloody quandary now for the media boys haven't you? Now how are they gonna distance themselves from their public endorsement and sycophantic praise of a multiple child killer? I'm curious to see what you do about this if anything.

  13. Sigggggggh, just read on "media tart" will you. Oh and "God or mighty" thanks a lot mate for taking it upon your holy self to co-write my blog. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I was going to delete your comment, but I have to admit it has added some extra oomph to Yarrow's presence in the series.

  14. I didnt know what you were talking about shock jocks but now I know and I don't listen to him because he hates everyone. I would of voted for the Reverend because he wanted to clean up the drugs from Cairns.

  15. Deeper and deeper we go, for a so called "light, skitterish satire", hah! So the local media boys will look like mugs in urging people to vote for a killer?? Reckon the media boys will cook up some cockeyed fuckwitted conspiracy theory to cover themselves? I can see it coming.

  16. The media will just find some other TimTams to rave about or maybe another soiled tampon to rub in the face of the public. The public will qickly forget Yarrow. Yesterdays news is for the cockys cage mate.

  17. It is what the shock jocks do here in the USA Buzz. They immediately find a diversion like the "runaway bride" or "should coma victim be left on life support" to distract the public. People quickly forget in this age of mass information and information overload as well.

  18. I think it a fair comment that Murdoch's News Corp. is a sociopathic corporation. It has demonstrated the key characteristics, ie ruthlessness, no respect for social and moral norms, plays games, prepared to engage in illegal activities and shows no remorse and is parasitical. There is plenty of material on the net about sociopathic corporations.

  19. Thanks for the comments peoples. Thanks too Diana for the advice that David Williamson will be in Cairns next Monday. I hope to be there.

  20. I can't wait to see what Cushy does. He was the scoundrel who endorsed Yarrow as candidate. I can't imagine someone like Cush ever admitting to making a mistake. It would be so out of character for a sociopathic control freak personality.

  21. Our society as a whole has become very shallow and superficial as this episode reveals. Not only did the media judge Bud Yarrow on the slightest of information but so too did a large proportion of the population. We see it happening all the time.